I just happened to be thinking about all this recently because of something I had to do for one of my classes.

The assignment was to write up the top 10 jobs you want, skill requirements, etc, and what salary you would like, I thought about it for a long time and I still can't seem to figure out which one is first. The reason is the field I am in is very creative so all the jobs I have an interest in but I know at some point I will be bored at the job, I'd want to move, try something else, switch careers learn new things. 

People always say what's your dream job or what's your passion and you should do that for a living. I really struggle with this question. (Bonus #tip) if sometimes you are really stump at figuring out what you want, instead ask yourself what do you not want.  i did this and figured out what types of careers I don't want, and it is mostly careers where you have to be locked in a certain location or trajectory because I don't trust myself to stick to one path for a long time, and that is bad. I would like to learn new things regularly, to be curious, etc.

There is no perfect job, there will never be a dream job.

I think about the future a lot and wonder what I'll be doing in years' time but to be honest I don't know because there are some things I know to be true. the world is moving too fast for some jobs to still be relevant 5 years from now, 5 years from now there will be new jobs I got to get training for or maybe 5 years from now I don't have to work ever again because of Universal Basic Income.

Life is suffering, choose the one you can endure.

Recently there is this war on work with anti-work or, "I don't dream of labor, etc", but on the other side this huge hustle camp saying work super hard and you'll make it, etc. Everyone is glamorizing both sides. For me what I figured out about myself is I don't want to work super hard especially in a stable boring company even if the pay is good, and sometimes I think about myself and someone who is lazy, lax, or undisciplined. " why can't I do this like everyone else for a very long time", but then, on the other hand, it's not like I could sit around and watch Netflix or just be indoors for days. I talk about this in an earlier post, but if I had a billion dollars now I would be equally relieved and depressed. what the fuck do I do for the rest of my life. No wonder  Lottery winners end up blowing money on hookers and cocaine.  I don't understand how some people will just want to laze around for days, weeks, years not working towards something. Seriously why are people obsessed with sipping margaritas on beaches, to me so fucking boring, after half an hour of that shit! Never having to do any work ever again makes me feel useless so I'm suffering both ways. there is no way out of endless suffering in life. 

One of my favorite YouTubers was asked about his life and why he doesn't want to get married. and he said he doesn't want to to which she replied , but you won't be happy. His quote that I like is " life is pain so I am pretty much fucked either way." I agree with that. Your goal in life should not be to alleviate suffering and seek happiness at all times. （to be frank, I don't think there is much in life that can make me happy except traveling every day and sleeping with new women but after a year even that will turn into suffering）。

Mark Manson's book the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

 so.. after all this what suffering should i endure, honestly still no clue.