Time to Swallow my Pride and Step Up

and

Time For DSS to Swallow Theirs and Step Down

Neglect to My Children By DSS Reveled

 

The idea of a system of people who save defenseless children from real monsters that prey on them is a necessary system. 

The system we currently have is flawed and needs corrected. This is our kids lives, Not Theirs.

    We are not monsters, yet we had our parental rights stripped from us because of a anonymous report saying we were on drugs. No reports of abuse, or neglect. No Criminal charges. No Drug Test. No Witness. But it was enough to ruin our family. 

. To most small children, their parents are like the strongest people in the world. Parents are giants to kids. And they know that if your with them that they are safe from all outsiders. Now after children have that safe zone feeling, what do you think it does to them mentally, when they are taken their home by a stranger? Then you have some choices, both bad for the kids head I think.

A:  You could go down fighting. That might scare the kid and you will most likely go to jail getting no closer no closer to getting . But at least they saw you try.

B: Cooperate, and be polite It with the hopes of getting them back soon. But does your child loose security. I mean they were taken kicking and screaming and you did nothing to stop them.

With ether option there will be a mental impact to this child. This alone should be enough to stop DSS from taking any child that is not in real danger. It doesn't. If you Haven't noticed over the years more, and more things are being considered danger for kids. Making it harder for parents to raise them as they see fit. Some are scared to spank their kids even when its necessary.  

So Im gonna say Unless the child is in real danger it should be Child Abuse on DSS

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Ill go with oldest to youngest Explaining DSS neglect to my kids

So when my oldest turned 18 while in there custody he was taken to a homeless shelter. They handed him some quarters and told him to use them to wash his clothes in the laundromat across the street. Homeless Shelter? This was a child the was awarded "the presidential pin for educational excellence", and they just set him out like he was nobody. He also was very hesitant to reach out to ask me for help, because the had been telling him we wanted nothing to do with him. Ok so far I would call this mental and emotional abuse.  My son was in DSS custody for sexual crimes he committed on his siblings most of which occurred when he was 10 and under. Then he had one offence again at 15. Now how does a child with those kind of sexual issues while in DSS care start a relationship whit a man who is 19 years older than him one day before his 18th birthday.   

They refused him attendance to his Grandmothers funeral.

Neglect

He's an older kid but I would still label it A Mental Abuse with the comments about his parent not wanting anything to do with him.

The 17 year old starting his relationship with a 37 year 1 day before his birthday, while in custody old shows me they wasn't paying much attention.

Child Neglect

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On to the next Kid

This guy and his younger brother were both sexual victims of the oldest son one time  at the tailor when their ages were a 

Then he was victomised a 2nd time at the house. That was the time that I was told about. They didnt ever treat him as a victim. The oldest victimized the two of them together that 1st time. But the DSS and DJJ said that even though he was a victim he did touch the younger one making him a perpitrator as well. This is also referencing to the act that we didnt know about that happend at least 5 years earlier, so they were still very young.  Because of his age he was in a lot longer than his older brother.  He was refused contact with us. Lide to about us not wanting to see him. And was refused attendance to his grandmothers funeral. They went one extra step with him and let him know about the funeral as he was getting on the bus heading to school. Imagine the pain he felt.

I view those three things as neglect.

The DSS and / or group home even neglected to fallow the court order the he was supposed to attened a sexual behavior therapy untill released by the therapist. He only attended for about a month after going into the group home. Then he missed over 6 months of appointments. The therapist finally had to pull herself from him due to absence. She said she could not keep a patient on that is never there. The excuse from the DSS and group homes was Transportation issues. Transportation issues? I highly doubt that, the state seems like they have more than enough money. That is neglect and had it been myself for my wife not taking him to those appointments we would have got a criminal charge on us for not following a court order. Apparently they have different roles then regular parents. This also showing a perfect example of the difference in the law and the Department of Social Services rules beyond the law. The oldest child FaceTime multiple charges to the point that I was told if it went to adult Court he would be facing over 60 years. But this child only had one charge of "crime against nature" juvenile charge. They were both assigned one year of probation, but when the child with only one charge was nearing that one year probation the Department of Social Services felt it be necessary to extend it to keep him in a straight line. Basically for being good they rewarded him with more punishment. That's not technically neglect but just a dick move to a child. This is a kid that received the Citizenship Award all the time through school. At some point while in the custody of the group home he was playing basketball and got kicked in the face. It dislocated his jaw just slightly but enough to cause it to lock up occasionally. They didn't feel it was necessary to see a doctor. This would be considered neglect however a person with custody of a child does have the right to decide what is and isn't necessary to be seen in the hospital.  In this group home as a group the children were in trouble or Consequences as they called it. Consequences and this case was 3 months no talking you were allowed to ask may I go to the bathroom beyond that it was silenced for 3 months. I'm pretty sure that's just the illegal. If it's not it's still pretty messed up.

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to the next child

 

our daughter. Looking back this child didn't have anything neglectful or abusive happened to her while in custody. However she was lied to by DSS on the subject that DSS will pay for college 100% all children that have ever been in the department of social services custody. Even checking on that with them a few different times making sure we understood right even if a child gets out early you still pay their college to which they would always assure us "yes" when we were awarded custody we found out different innocence makes us feel crappy that we did take custody back because now she does not receive the free college. That did not change her persistence on going. She's a hard worker and she is in her fourth year of college. She's doing very well for herself. Following my instruction she has created herself as a very decent credit score has a pre-owned car 2018 Nissan, parents are always on time, and she can change her own Tire, oil, and brakes. I point out her achievements even though this particular post is about neglect. The reason is this the Department of Social Services still refers to us as dangerous household dangerous parents unsafe. When they speak to the younger children that are still in custody they try to tell them that they highly recommend they do not return home when they turn 18 because we will turn them into drug addicts.WTF kind of s*** is that? This girl is the only one that has reached 18 while in our custody and that's how she's living. So far anybody else has aged out and their custody. Well I'll always love them all and continue to try to help but they got a shity start through the DSS program. 

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Child Number Four

this particular child got screwed over pretty rough as well. So this child had a biological father who attended a very small amount our original court dates. He was certain that he would take custody of his children but quickly found out that was that a drug test he wasn't taking anyone. So he wouldn't take the drug test and then he just stopped coming to the court dates. We continued every single court date. Anyway they knew that he refused to drug test and they new that he wanted his kids but not for the right reasons. He didn't want them to help show them a straight path. He only wanted them so he could be able to look at his ex-wife my current life and say I won. A true piece of s***. This boy was moved in with his father in Mexico eventually becoming an alcoholic with his dad's liquor he then ran away from home to stay hooked up with it girl. Eventually he was done with the run away thing and decided to return home. His father told him to get the f*** out of here I don't ever want to see you again f*** off. He has now dropped out of school his senior year . This young man's been homeless since about three months before he turned 18 in Mexico with his father moving away from there to either New Mexico or Florida we don't know which. This one should have neglect all over it not only by his worthless father. But no the Department of Social Services they did nothing the weather supposed to win approving someone custody. As I tried to tell the DSs worker he was court-ordered that he couldn't take them with other drug test she looked at me and said well at least he showed up and referencing to me not being there for the 24-hour emergency hearing. So without drug test, and without a safety assessment to check out what the living conditions will be like they awarded him custody just for having showed up to court that day. That should be neglect on a lot of officials. No now he suffers. Because of the pure neglect on the court and DSS behalf.

do you really want to hear the next child?

I will Skip One on to the youngest and then back up to the brother above him.

to my knowledge there has not been any neglectful situations with this child. However while in the group homes custody he did get hurt falling off a bike I believe and broke his collarbone. I understand this can happen to anyone but I must still point out I my wife and all the other children we have have never had a broken bone. The one child that does have one had it happened while in DSS custody.

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the last child on the list

this child is the one that was the younger of the three in the sexual situations. This young man has a heart of gold he will give anybody something that they need even if it's the last of what he has. He really likes to help people. They greatly neglected to allow him to have access to his sexual behavior therapy. With him asking and requesting from the DSs worker herself also from the house parent at the group home and from the director. Nobody seemed to have time to get him put into that. This was a court order that it be made available to him if he chooses to return. The caseworker even told him that one time that she's got a lot going on she doesn't have time. I don't know the full details but I do know that he and a female a year older than him we're on a hammock from evening time till around 2 in the morning making out. I was told that he asked her if she wanted to go behind the building to have sex to which she said yes. I don't know details on how things changed or when they change their what but it ended with him catching a rape charge and being arrested. They would not tell me where he was, they would not tell me any information about the case, they were trying to have the whole thing took care of with me not getting involved at all. I had to go above and beyond sending messages and emails directly to senators. To the Department of Human Health Services in Raleigh. Even a very long letter who the president Joe Biden, even though I'm not a fan. To try to find out how to get through this and speak to my own child. I believe it was the department of human health services that actually made it happen and I got to have communication privileges. I finally got to go to the courts for his second court appearance. And this boy has actually been in jail ever since the night of the alleged offense. They don't set bail for juveniles because they usually I feel it's best for the child to be with their parents not in a jail. The DSs worker with all her power is fighting it for him to stay in jail because with this being my second time that the children have been taken I've shown that I'm very unsafe. This DSS worker is the same DSS worker that came over and took the kids. Without any kind of evidence backing it up that we were doing anything wrong. I did say what little bit I can think of in court, trying to point out that he did not need to be in jail waiting court dates that I would take him I would put 100% other responsibilities on me so that if he did anything wrong they could put me in jail. The crazy part on this is this boy is turning 18 20 days after this court date. But the DSS worker made it so he could stay in jail with her green that she and the DJJ would come up with a plan so he's not just left Behind Bars until he turns 18. I knew this sounded like BS because you have 28 days to the next court date only 20 days till he turned 18 and that's around 15 actual working days before he turns 18. All they had to do was drag their feet a little. Today is the 12th he will now be 18 in 9 days, and she communicated yesterday with him that he is not going nowhere. This young man's life may be ruined before he even gets to start, and why because the DSS had him in a facility that didn't monitor they're underage teens. I mean come on two kids making out on a hammock from evening to 2 a.m. not to mention refusing him sexual behavior therapy. This child skipped a grade this year so he was going to be graduating this year.

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I unconditionally now and forever Love all of my children, nothing that they do will ever change that.

Since the beginning of all this that has been the Department of Social Services biggest problem with me, according to them I shouldn't want to have anything to do with the two older boys.

As far as I'm concerned I'm just a stronger parent than they are. They obviously don't know what unconditional love is.

But I'm now at this point where I have finally been cornered in a dead-end

I feel like dead inside and a lot of ways but know that there is a spark and it's trying

When our children were taken from us this time I and my wife after both of us working for 15 + years, we both kind of died inside to the point that we let ourselves lose our jobs. She's had two heart attacks so may not be able to return to work. And as ashamed as I am to say this I'm perfectly healthy and I can work. I don't know what it is but I don't have any kind of motivation or desire to do so. I hate that I feel this way.

As we look back on the last 5 years Ill say this. My 1st Wife, My 2nd Wife & Myself where still kids when we started having kids. No special training in family. Never did have any of those baby books. But we made it as far as we did. 

Then you have a federal Department. With years of exp. with family development, learning from many different families. They have all kinds of resources they can utilize. They are among their friends in a when in court. But it all should boil down to that one thing. Is this kid in real danger or just not living up to DSS expectations? Because that decision to take them from their parents will be a scar on a lot families. 

DRUGS, ESPECIALLY HARDER DRUGS ARE HONESTLY THE WORST MISTAKE YOU WILL MAKE NEGATIVELY EFFECTING YOU AND THOSE AROUND YOU WEATHER YOU BELIVE IT OR NOT!!!

Having said that true message about hard drugs                                                                                                                             does not change the fact that.

   Drugs did not destroy my family, Maybe they would have if we continued, who can say for sure. (a fortune teller) No, DSS Destroyed My Family!

Their is No proof in any attempts that we would have failed the kids or that we were unsafe.

The Facts show that each child till 18 has seemed to show that they were a worse choice than us.

I believe with the deconstruction of my family, along with the pain suffering and heartache caused by the Department of Social Services funded by the federal government of the United States that our family should be compensated buy reasonable amount to ensure each child can have a decent start into their adult life. That was Our  plan before DSS interfered and I'd like to get it back on that same track                                                                                        

People are heading to the southern border. News reports that its a long, treacherous journey from south to north America. We cant say if it was the rite decision for them to put their kids through it because we don't know what they were facing. I do know that if the president is willing to give $450,000.00 per family member that get divided while making the trip.  But I'm curious. We keep saying SSI will be bankrupt, or local DSS turning people away from 1st come 1st serve programs because not enough funds. I'm thinking, multiple country wide Stimulus checks, now these $1/2 Million checks per member to people coming here by the thousands.