You probably come across such headlines at every step and are already tired of them. Hoping to change their lives for the better, people come to trainings, learn from different “gurus,” but for some reason life remains the same. Do you know why this happens? I have experience of dramatic changes, and I am ready to share it.

What prevents most people from becoming successful?

For most people, fear is the main obstacle to success.

It is difficult for people to imagine themselves in an unusual image. They are afraid of changes, new sensations, a different environment, and greater opportunities for greater responsibility. This condition is called “fear of success.” It arises from a lack of understanding of the mechanism of change in life. In most cases, changes do not fall on our heads, but come gradually. This means we have time to get used to them. Only our decision to challenge ourselves should be sharp.

I hope I can convince you that you should not be afraid of change, but strive for it.

Start changes from small things 

The great 16th century Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli said that every change paves the way for other changes. With this instruction, he wanted to say that changes in a person’s life, as a rule, are sequential, everything does not happen at once and at the same time. One small change leads to another, then the next one comes, and this is how global changes in life are built.

I recommend using Machiavelli's admonition as rule #1 in the first stage of change for the better.

Don't rely on external motivations

When we decide to make major changes in life, we look for support, those triggers that will fuel our desire throughout the entire journey.

Rule No. 2: External motivation is short-term, so it does not have much effect.

What is this rule about? If a person needs a push, he needs to look not for external attitudes like “you are worth it”, “prove to yourself and others”, but internal ones.

External ones sound impressive, light up, arouse in us the desire to act. However, this spark fades when faced with the first difficulties.

For example, a person decided to run in the morning, but slept through the first workout. If there is no internal motivation, he will think - well, since the day is gone, I’ll go eat. At lunch he will decide that he will start a new life not today, but tomorrow and will eat everything that the coach has forbidden. In the evening he is in no mood and cannot sleep. In the morning he will sleep again. Did the coach give him the wrong recommendations? No, this person is just not motivated.

Be sure to look for internal motivation that will drive you out of bed every morning for a run or other feats. It may sound like this - I no longer want and will not live the way I used to.

Prepare for disapproval and even resistance from loved ones

Rule No. 3, which I derived from personal experience - be prepared for the fact that the environment will most likely put a spoke in your wheels.

While you lived like everyone else, not standing out in any way, everything was clear to your friends and family - well, an ordinary person, unremarkable. When they see you changing, they will subconsciously perceive it as a challenge or an insult. Yeah, that means something doesn’t suit you, maybe you’re tired of your friends? They will begin to dissuade you and devalue your efforts.

Let's sum it up

To change your life for the better, you need to follow 3 rules:

1. Start changes with small steps. On this path, the loser is the one who wants to overcome everything at once, cover a huge amount of work and get immediate results.

2. Find effective internal motivation. Until you find a good reason why you need all this, you will not get up in the morning and take other steps towards success.

3. Don't be distracted by criticism and opinions of others. There will always be people willing to give advice, no matter what you do. You must do what is right for you.

I hope my rules will be useful to those who decide to challenge themselves and make radical changes.