What is the Meaning of Life? A Deep Dive into the Capabilities of Presearch #SearchWithPresearch

By Marchioly | Mother's Basement | 27 Mar 2021

Special explanatory notes: This post serves entertainment purposes only. It's nature is highly fictional and it should not be taken seriously.

You know what? I'm sick of it! I've got two university degrees in Philosophy, wasted 6 years of my life and now, what have I got to show for it? Crippling student debt and a basement room at my mom's place. The answers? Still haven't found them. Is there a god? What comes after death? Why is Grandma enjoying Bingo so much? There are times, when my desperation manifests itself - or maybe tries to regulate itself - by shifting my consciousness into a dream-like state. There, I imagine myself standing right in front of Douglas Adams' Deep Thought, ready to shoot any question that may comes to mind at it. But... As I've come to understand... Something comparable may already happens to be here. So, let's give 'em a tough nut to crack. The test to end all tests! Let's ask Presearch the age-old question: What is the meaning of life?

I've Failed the Touring-Test

But, before we go: We need to work on our standards. Search engines have been utilized to spy on us. We knew it and still fed them our data on a daily basis. This has to stop. I don't want any corporation to know that I've spent an unreasonable amount of time searching for a great Minestrone recipe (my recommendation: keep it simple and stick to just a handful of vegetables. No broccoli, we are not savages.) Let's write this one down, so we don't forget it: P-R-I-V-A-C-Y.

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I've been guilty of this myself. Every day, I would put on my fancy search-goggles (What a pun, huh? Man, sometimes I just get it right!) and off I went. And let me tell you something: It wasn't always easy. There were times, I found myself on page 5 or 6 of the search results, still looking for a satisfying answer. Out there... In the great wide open... I've seen things you people wouldn't even believe! (A whole Broccoli? Jesus Christ, chef_janet1972, what is wrong with you?) So, that's number two on our secret inspection-list: Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y O-... Ah, why bother! The quality of it's output. How relevant/accurate are the listed results?

Dear Presearch, how should we cope with the realization that there are no transcendent values to be found in this world? There is simply no recovering from Nietzsche! - Tina, 4 years old, hates broccoli with a passion

Hold onto your beard, Plato! I've got it!

Until today, I always thought the meaning behind it all was to be found in - Billy Crystal would surely agree - Jack Palance's Finger. But let's keep an open mind here. He's the new blue guy in town, we'll give him a shot. So: Crypto, crypto on the wall, what's the meaning of it all? Well, here's what I found:

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Wikipedia and Psychology Today, seems like a reasonable start! Let's zoom in on that.

The meaning of life is to live.

Well, no shit, Sherlock! That's a bit underwhelming. I wasn't convinced. Furious, I clicked myself to the next page... And the next one... And the next one after that... Maybe the right answer would be buried somewhere on page 42... But then it happened: On page number 7 - no results would show up anymore. Refreshing the page wouldn't help. I've tried a different browser, but the results seem to be limited to 10 pages. Suddenly, it dawned on me. What are they trying to hide? They must know something! That's not a bug - that's a feature. Deliberately installed to keep me from the truth! I kept looking for signs, something they've missed. And by golly, I found it! It was right there on page 1, laughing at me! Here, I've drawn a red square around it, for dramatic effect:

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Why was this ad chosen? "[...]the World's leading Cryptocurrency[...]". You guys are seeing it too, right? It's a hint. The World is led by cryptocurrency! Crypto, that's the meaning of life! Here's what I think happened: One of the founders of Presearch couldn't take it anymore. His business partners were hiding the truth, manipulating the search results to philosophical questions. They had all the answers, but they weren't keen on sharing them. Some sort of power game, I guess. So, he took his founders share of PRE-tokens and staked it to promote this ad, hoping that someone would understand. Beat them at their own game. Actually, this would now be a fitting time to have another look at our inspections-list and the two criterias we esta... Ah, who care's! Throw it in the trash!