Beginning Again
Twenty-six years, it's been twenty-six years of a constant turmoil. Though my life has hurt, brought with it enormous pain, I've learned many lessons, I've developed a strong sense of gratitude, I have acquired the ability to set boundaries, to say no. My morals & ethics are clearer now than they ever were before, standing alongside a strong unwavering determination.
I was born ill, unknowingly so until I was much older. Not having received the care I needed as an infant, as a child. My teenage years brought with them excruciating pain.
I lost dreams, I lost the people I called friends, family turned their back on me as I had become too sick to be the person I once was to them. Depression, despair, haunted me into my early 20's. I was lost, fighting just to get through every day.
2020 life for me no longer looked like it used to, my world began to change for the better. At least, I thought so at the time. The following years brought loss, six family members in the span of a year, my dream job I worked so hard to get & was building my career in, shattered in a single night. My health got drastically worse, I couldn't even get myself to my job at the time that I took solely to get by. Once again having even that crumble beneath my feet.
Left with not a penny to my name now, an enormous amount of medical debt, expenses & unpaid medical bills on their way to collections. Many may assume I'm lost in the abyss again. With no clear path or trajectory. Yet this is the most free I have ever felt in my life!
I'm no longer glued to a job I despise that was sucking my core essence out of me. I've let go of toxic people in my life that used me, manipulated me, never truly cared about me. I have the time for the first time in roughly a decade, to focus on my health. No, I don't currently have the financial means to best take care & manage my conditions. What I do have however has brought me the peace I so greatly needed.
Im rebuilding the relationship I have with my parents after what has been a very rough & stumbling journey with them. I've built an online community with some incredible, kind, loving & hilarious people from all across the country that have shown up for me, been there for me in ways no "friend" has ever done for me before. I'm blessed to be able to call them my true friends.
Discovering new passions & interests, lighting the fire 🔥 I had for life before & bringing forth a brand new light ✨️. Learning to love myself,to be kind to myself. I've never treated myself properly before, only to let in what I didn't deserve.
Finally finding myself again, caring for myself the way I need to be cared for. Chugging along on the journey of life.
Here I lay out my journey, my journey towards self love, self discovery, healing & transformation. I hope you'll join me along this journey, follow along, support my blog as it does greatly help me in paying for my monthly medical expenses. Your kindness, love & support means the world. Having you here is everything, I hope my journey may inspire others to do the same 💜.
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