Trigger Warning:
This article will be discussing sexual activity, and I do not want it to disturb anyone who may be sensitive due to being on a lower streak. If so, please save this for a later time. I am sharing my story with good intentions, but I do realize the potential to cause harm.
ALSO AVAILABLE IN VIDEO FORMAT ON BITCHUTE: https://www.bitchute.com/video/PbBpVlZyTcsP
The story begins with me completing 15 months of celibacy. Considering the warning above, that streak ended, but I will assuage your worries and confirm that I still retained (today marks 363 total days).
I must also preface that a full year of SR + celibacy would have been preferable.
Before I completed a full year of celibacy, it was like I was fighting against tooth and nail. But once I crossed the finish line, it was like an airplane coming out of turbulence.
I was minding my business when a female friend of mine I’ve known for two years invited me out to a concert. I knew it was likely it would result in me going home with her. But at the time I thought it was more excusable compared to my hookups in the past that were only with random strangers.
But I still conclude that sex in a committed relationship is the way to go.
Because afterwards I felt partially bound to a woman that I didn’t even really want to have sex with again. Because after all, we were still friends (until somehow ugliness surfaced, and now we are not).
But despite those losses, a lotus was born from the mud.
Aftermath
I always thought we were better as just friends, but I hooked up with her because I thought we were both on our way out and moving to separate countries. I personally wanted to go to Japan.
And before I did I wanted to at least date a white girl at least once, as I’ve been with other races.
So you would think now that I got that final curiosity out of the way, I could have no regrets and could then head straight for Japan.
But that didn’t happen.
The weekend after, I lost all motivation to study Japanese.
I got tired of the self-interest. The self-serving.
One of the reasons that my friend decided not to date me is because I still live with family. Now I’m from NYC, and if you know anything about the city, you may have heard how high the rent is here, therefore living with family is a real blessing. But because she doesn’t get along with her family, she projected that on to me.
But that’s fine, because still living at home was already an insecurity of mine. That’s why my sexual frustration turned into resentment against my family members. They were not to blame for anything, but I could easily be annoyed by them, and used that as fuel to further my goals to move out.
But move out for what? To get my own place, so that I could have sex more often?
And that’s when still being at home became another blessing. Instead of using that rejection as even more fuel to move out, now I actually wanted to double down and settle in even more.
And what was the best way to make use of this opportunity? Going back to school.
Career Change
But what truly tied everything together was a change in career. Like I said, I was done with the self-serving. I watched a lot of Soft White Underbelly, a YouTube channel that interviews a variety of misfits, like pimps, prostitutes, and drug addicts.
And all those stories intrigued me enough that I decided that very day that I would dedicate myself to becoming an addiction counselor. I had prior experience doing impromptu and amateur therapy on my younger brother, who I’ve coached many times out of bad-highs and even wanting to become homeless(!).
Also the fact that both I and my female friend had completed one-year bouts of celibacy, but only I avoided masturbating during my stint gave me even more confidence that I may have talent or insight on the inner workings of sex on the mind and body.
And now with this new career in mind, staying at home with family became an asset since I can live rent-free while pursuing my degree.
I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have a noble cause in life.
Obviously the road to getting here was through making mistakes. So that’s why this is all dangerous advice. But if you’re going to make a mistake, make sure it’s meaningful.
I checked off a curiosity, and I also got some relationship and dating experience. Before I was only interested in hooking up. So now I have proof that I’m growing, at least a little.
Mistakes can sometimes create more karma because you’re inherently dissatisfied with the result. There was something deeper I was craving, and I used a substitute for it, and that’s why I ended up in suffering.
But if you don’t fall further into compulsion and instead turn to meditation, I think that’s how progress can be made after previous failures.
I am ready for a relationship now. I reached back out to an ex. More like an ex-situation-ship. We split up because I wasn’t willing to do what I did for my friend, and that was actually date her and make her my girlfriend, and not just only have sex.
Yes it could be from the karma that was created from having sex, but I’ve also been thinking about her for the past 4 months.
SR has a tendency to orient you in the right direction.
And that’s a fact after all of this. Despite having sex, I still retained.
That mattered more to me than anything else.
And that is why despite the painful lessons letter, I am still victorious after all.
DON’T FOLD
— The Mystery School
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