Quixotic And Boring Introduction

     It has been atleast a week since I last wrote something for the ever growing community of loyal Publish Zero X citizens. A lot has changed. Obviously this is my second post and now this lengthy exposition is the result of long rest from the very thing which I love the most. I love writing immensely especially for the consumption of the Publish Zero X community. I am so excited to finally have the guts to publish an introductory post which I failed to publish as I procrastinate more and more. An introduction to an introduction so to speak and the end to procrastination. I am close to finishing a quarter of the fifth decade of my boring life. Actually it has been a blast as a couple of weeks ago I have reached my third year here in the wonderful universe called Publish Zero X. I am congratulating myself for reaching what I consider as a huge milestone in my decades upon decades of quixotic life.

First Decade Of My Quixotic Life. From 1978 through 1988.

     The very first memory that I can readily retrieve at will is when I was three years old, I was inside my crib sitting while looking at my father who is sitting in front of the dining table as though agonizing about the future or maybe something else that I cannot comprehend or psychoanalyze. At that time I didn't know that but my afterthought is somehow telling me what he was thinking about. My Father and Mother are instrumental as to why I consider myself as the happiest person in the known universe. Corporal punishment is the name of the game inside our beloved domicile. It is naturally painful as my Father will whip me with his leather belt but surprisingly I was not infuriated by the idea of receiving this kind of punishment as it molded me into the type of person that I am today. I consider myself stronger than most people who didn't receive this form of punishment in their lifetime. Let us face it even though there are sectors of society whom are stongly opposed to this I have come to a conclusion that this is a form of personal experience that no one in this world can ever buy. Even if you have a trillion dollars I simply cannot pass it on to you.

     My Father and his circle of friends will consider me as a slow puppy growing up for they are comparing my abilities with that of my older brother whom they consider as a gifted child. He was able to speak and read in the English language at the tender age of two while on the other hand I was able to achieve the same at the age of five. Take note that English is not our primary language as it is Filipino.

     When I was a little boy I will always be on the receiving end of things as I will always be injured, wounded or both in a traumatic manner. I remember one time when my cousin was trying to prick my eye in jest, but later she ended up pricking my eye anyway. It was so traumatic since I cannot even remember what happened after getting my eye pricked accidentally by the sharp end of a pencil. I think I have lost conciousness after the incident. It took me a couple of weeks to recover. They said that they heard me shout after the incident. I remember  my mother and her daily routine of putting antibiotic ointment into the injured part my eye which is by the way prescribed by our family doctor.  It really took me a long time to get a chance to play with my cousins again after the unfortunate incident. Luckily, my vision is still almost 20/20 according to the optometrist. Truth be told I can still read finely printed words and sentences.

     I had a somewhat affluent life, atleast with the way this first eight years went by, and this is what I truly felt. Our family and relatives will take us to places where we can have a swim on a privately owned swimming pool. We will be enjoying ourselves by swimming for 12 hours or even longer. If there is a trivial  reason to go on an excursion, vacation or go somewhere else besides our humble abode we will always take it. If there is a trivial reason to entertain 50 or more visitors in our humble abode, we will always take on the challenge. The Spanish style fiesta that goes on in our humble  abode made me think that we are included in the middle class by definition during this moment in time.

     Most of my friends, cousins and playmates were brutally violent and psychologically manipulative people. They will always engage on a psychological pushing and manipulating games and I will always end up having my nose bleed profusely for several minutes because of punches or something subtle as accidentally eating a birds eye chili(maybe not accidental) or being Karate punched by someone who is twice my size. They will narrate a chillingly delivered horror story to always make me feel afraid of everything which is somewhat similar to the shock journalism that we receive on a daily basis in the present day. I was really surrounded by savages but they are wearing sheeps clothing. The truth should always come out at some point in our lives. I am going to take this as a valuable lesson to advance further in life. With these experiences my tolerance to psychological warfare and psychological operations has gone from zero to hero in just less than ten years.

     For every rule there is always an exception. I met my best friend when I was in Kindergarten. His name is Joseph and I never thought that I will get a chance to have a friend as kind as Joseph. Compared to the savages that I have to deal with during this decade Joseph has been the opposite. His family will always welcome me when I needed someone whom I can play with. This level of kindness is not something that you can get used to, when you are in an urbanized area whom are trying to survive the daily nightmares of the real world. I am not defending the psychological manipulation experts whom I dealt with for almost five decades now but it is surreal to even have a chance to experience this level of kindness which I received from my friend and his perfect family or seemingly perfect family if that is how you want me to describe them. But as they say nothing lasts forever when they moved to a new city and I was yet again left alone in this psychiatric asylum which is being ran by a bunch of lunatics. Luckily or maybe luck has nothing to do with it, I am beginning to develop my abilities of pushing them back in their own game. These unforgettable experiences with my best friend and his family has turned me into a well balanced person as I am not as paranoid and brutal as the savages whom are lurking in my area or maybe I am. You the reader will be the judge of that.

     The best thing young people can learn from socializing with their fellow kids is the ability to grasp the zeitgeist. The subculture exist within this side of the Earth. The vocabulary words that kids use are quite different from what sociologists are wasting their breath to explain. You simply cannot learn anything about the local amulet by listening to dinosaur scientists whom are anything but practical. You simply cannot learn the vocabulary which kids use while playing street games. The strategy on how to hack your way through those games will help you develop better algorithms for your real life plans in the future.

     The experts always talk about the theory of mind which can make or break your toddler to pre-adolescent years. The first order belief attributions that naturally allows you to infer what the other person is thinking or thinking of doing is a delight in itself. The only way for you to master it and the second order belief attributions is by experimenting with your playmates. Nothing sexual is being discussed here. You can infer better even though most of the time adults will perceive it as judgement even though the last person whom you saw in this place was that person. The more you use this level of making inference the better, for it will allow you to speed read a persons behavior just by their demeanor and mannerisms. Everything did start from when we were so young and innocent. The benefits will be apparent once you get older. My advice to kids nowadays is to have intimate relationship with just about everyone. We were kids once upon a time and we know that this microbe and dirt thing is much more involve in our daily lives back then than what the kids nowadays whom are being subjected to use a highly disinfected but equally toxic playgrounds.

     The very first time the Light Rail Transit system service became available to the Philippine public was in I believe 1984. My parents and I were the only few who tried it. This is another one of those personal experiences that changed my life forever. It was my birthday and it coincidentally fell on a Redemptorist church day also known as Baclaran day. Obviously people are intimidated by this train system that we shared the train coach with just six people from the first station up to the last one. The tradition is to attend a mass on your birthday which is what we have done. Nowadays the situation will be the same but before the era of quarantine restrictions came into our lives the train coaches will be tightly packed during rush hour. We experienced the point where we were the first to use the service as though it is some sort of exclusive privilege. The time when almost everybody is too scared to try and use it as their primary mode of transportation, well it is around this time. Last year I used it again to take me to a place to where I could take care of someone whom needed my care the most. We will get to the details later in the fifth decade portion of the story of my life.

     I was a consistent honor student during my intermediate years in school. Academics was my forte until I decided to take it easy and take time to observe and assess what is truly happening. Public school system is really something as there is a ranking system in terms of academic performance. Private schools are avoiding this system like a plague but their opinion nonetheless as to why they are avoiding it is flimsy at best. I remember that I got lost looking for my classroom during the first grade. Of course my father was infuriated by my inability to remember certain things back then. Even though right now it is ironic that I could remember all the details of that particular day. But anyways I adjusted  to school life and became one of the top students. It may not be a big of a deal nowadays but back then it really is some kind of a precious thing.

     The next couple of years of my intermediate school life was indeed a busy one as more work is required to those who are at the top of the so called academic standings. They will always require you make reports and speak up in front of the whole class to help us get rid of any traces of stage fright. We even reached the Regional Level in a Math oriented competition for students. It is also a big deal to reach that level since the next level after the regional is the National Level. This really boosted my confidence since I never knew that the academic world is that big of a deal.

     I was afflicted with what the Western Medicine considers to be preventable diseases. I remember having Measles when I was five. The buzzword back then was complications from having Measles and how dangerous the situation I was in during that time when I contracted the supposed disease. It was just another disease from my point of view. When I was eight I contracted this dreaded chicken pox from a classmate or maybe not. It is such a weird disease as it manifests as boils that are so itchy that all you can ever think about is to scratch all of them. The itch is so unbearable, it took me a week to recover from it. Although they will not allow you to attend face to face classes unless they are sure that you are uncontagious. Tonsillitis is very stubborn disease as it afflicts me every six months on the average. The feeling that it gives me is so weird. When it is at its peak I will be having strange hallucinations. This thing somehow trained me to become a resilient human being as the hallucinations will persist for hours on end but I could somehow manage to control myself. I will be as silent as I can ever be and lay down in bed for hours. Psychological strength can be built this way as you try to hold yourself down and make sure that you are sane when engaging with people. It allows you to differentiate the illusions from your supposed reality or vice versa. I also remember when my father will be giving me some medicine from a bad case of Dysentery. It was so bad that I will be sitting on the toilet bowl every hour that passes my life by. I was somewhat cured when he made me eat some real bananas. The bananas with very big seeds in them the size of a peanut. In no time my vowel movement normalized and it cured me of my affliction. I also remembered the time when I will vomit whenever I poop. Our family doctor will make me take some penicillin as he suspected that there is something wrong with my lungs and it worked but then again it may be another one of those placebo effect thing at play. I get it that my body is so weak compared to others but then again how am I going to get stronger if I avoided having a normal life when I was still a young kid.

     I think the most important lesson in my entire life came when I was about to turn five. My mother and father had a huge disagreement so my mother decided to bring me along with her to their ancestral home in the province of Bulacan. I think we stayed there for a very long time. Life in the province is different from urban life but after making adjustments you will find out that rural life can instantly change your thought process in a radical way. It is important that you change your life in a snap or it will eat you alive and you will find yourself retreating to your urban ways or upbringing. The most memorable thing happened when my uncle and my cousin brought me to some mini amusement park. We rode a tricycle to get there. It was really a wonderful experience until they decided to leave me for dead in that place as both of them hurriedly rode a tricycle. They never bothered to look back. Your own uncle and cousin instigated something as  unthinkable as abandoning you in an unfamiliar place. I felt so betrayed. I am not from around there and still they did this to me. It is not even a prank. I cried for a couple of minutes but a brilliant idea came up and guided me accordingly. I will just trace the direction where the tricycle they were riding in went and somehow I knew that I will be able to get to where my mother is at that time. I am not going to let these BS relatives to execute a backstabbing operation in a perfectly good manner. I may be an urban dweller since birth but I adjusted just in time to somehow thwart a well executed plan. Obviously my uncle was driven by jealousy, envy and greed but I am not going to justify what they did to me for after all I am at the receiving end of all this insanity. I walked for an hour and luckily a drunken man took notice of me. A stranger took notice of me. This drunken man said that I looked familiar and so he decided to ask the mini store owner if she knew who I was or if she somehow recognize me. Luckily she did recognize me. Actually, I think luck has nothing to do with it. It just so happens that they have the presence of mind to readily recognize that someone abandoned me in the middle of night and as they usually say that in the province during that time, people do not have anything worthwhile to do with their lives after six in the evening. Most of the time they spend their surplus hours into spreading and listening to gossips. Gossip girl is not an original series after all and what happened to me is a demonstration of the power of true gossips. I was able to return to our ancestral house with the help of perfect strangers while my blood relatives tried and failed to harm my mother and me psychologically and emotionally. This really made wonder if blood is really thicker than water. From that day forward I promised myself that I will be like that drunken man whose purpose in life is to make a surprise rescue of an innocent person. I really hated the fact that the plan is to make my mother cry. They must have told my mother that they looked all over the place to find me but they failed. Fake news. They were all startled when they saw me at the front door which made me infer that there is a conspiracy to kick us out of the ancestral house. This day is when the family secret is finally revealed.

     We are picky when it comes to television entertainment. We watch the so called Chinese or Kung Fu theatre. These are just movies about Chinese martial arts. Most of the time North American television shows are the most prevalent shows on Philippine TV and you as a reader would automatically think that they have subtitles back then? No. This trained us in the English language better than the useless textbooks. We watch them as it is being watched in America. In its original form. For most part there is a growing idea that soon these two countries  will dominate the world with their brand of propaganda. And they did for the most part. The only thing Japanese were animated series. We would also watch American movies. Hundreds of them are available in VHS and Betamax form. Pirated, most of them are.

     Even our radio waves would be full of American music. Obviously this is the primary reason why I got tired of the auto tune garbage that they produce nowadays. I am always comparing the golden days of pop music with the Milli Vinilli trash that they publish at present. Somehow the only option that you have is Korean pop music. They may be  auto tuned but at the very least they sound better than Hip Hop music or Rap Music that they continuously glorify for no apparent reason other than drug money. I cannot swallow their force feeding techniques as I can still recall the oldies very well.

     Birch tree milk was all over the news during that time as the paranoia over the Chernobyl accident is on a full blast mode. They said that it was somehow contaminated by radioactive particles from the incident. It was of concern to us since they were running advertisements about this powdered milk since forever.

     The Seoul Olympics was on TV during my time. They used an elevator to reach the summit of the cauldron. The elevators and escalators are frowned upon in the East as they want energy conservation measures. You will still see the inability of Chinese skyscraper developers to properly maintain their elevators for their tenants. They just see it as an obstacle and source of unnecessary expense yet South Korea decided to perpetuate elevators. I must admit that the song that they composed for this edition of the olympics is the most relevant song of our age and it is also more beautiful compared to the succeeding installments. This year will be the 33rd year of this Olympics so let us see what happens to our souls. Well according to law students those words that sound the same are interchangeable.

     The country got into serious trouble as the agents of destruction interfered in our country and decided to remove our president back then through machinations. My father was so happy that some housewife was installed into power. We were really in for a rude awakening as the removal of a president turned this country into a banana republic and later on, the person whom they installed to replace the former president appointed a team of cabinet members who took control of the seat of power along with the military. They did not write it in the "history books" but it is indeed a faux presidency and it decimated our power industry which later plunged this country into literal darkness as there were not enough power plants to maintain the required power demand of our embarrassed nation.

     A new way to entertain an impressionable pre-adolescent came in to invade the Philippines. The console gaming system started with the introduction of the Nintendo Family Computer and the Sega Console System. I was really addicted to gaming back then and I really could not control myself as I dug my own grave with this form of addiction. Rhetorically, I died as everyday is reduced to a simple motivation to play games. I simply cannot stop myself, talk about Dopamine fix.

Self-Evaluation And Self-Assessment

     The first ten years of my life is a rough journey through self-discovery. There may be rough journeys ahead but it will be rewarding to say the very least. I survived countless of preventable ailments. I discovered that in the real world your relatives can conceive plans to destroy you for the rest of your life and those plans can be thwarted by a eureka moment. If you have a gift you will be able to figure things out for yourself even though a surprise assistance from a stranger can also be expected at certain perfectly timed moments. This is the start of a custom made manual that will guide you for the rest of your remaining life. Media has been a part of my life so might as well keep away from most of it as it starts to protect itself more than the general public.