Source: canva

Sorry I can't pretend to be happy when I'm really not. Eid (festival) bring happiness but for me it always opposite maybe because I'm a sinner and doesn’t deserve happiness like others. I may spend my all bank balance to some people but they can't afford to give me enough peace so as a result I'm uncomfortable with such people around me with whom I'm uncomfortable to share my wish, my hunger for food and my own decision. They treat me like I shouldn’t do something I want or just to obey their orders. Nothing could be more bad luck than having toxic people in life. Can't knock out them from life sake of Almighty who doesn’t like to see people disconnected from relatives. Hostel off for around ten days and my life at so called relative house is really very uncomfortable, unhygienic and painful. Last night was suffering from mosquito bites. Here every moment they made me realized that I shouldn’t came here and I knew I'm going for ten days prison and purchasing pain with the money but there is no option except having patience. It seems willingly I came to this prison and its hurting me almost every moment because I was never conformable with such people. My hostel off is the reason behind this worse decision. Adjusting in everything and seeing their never ending needs really made me disappointed. Even in prison there may have some mental peace but here finding peace is like finding water fall in desert. Every time trying to convincing myself its ten days and will pass soon and trying to adjust for everything. Just hope my work won't be hampered for this kind of situation or temporary changes came to me for ten days. My problem is always to think about other's happiness and that become the reason of my being disappointment. I know I'm not perfect and always able to make others happy. Sometimes I wish to have a plant of huge money that I can fulfil the need of people around me who always shows their needs. Life seems such a prison when others shows you their never ending needs and make you feel like you are unable to fulfill their needs. Moreover they try to treat you as they want, they take advantage of being elder and always make you feel like they are right and you are wrong. In this Eid festival I want some mental peace at first and then I can think about something else. Just having headache thinking how these ten days will passing. I know its bad telling negative about people and life when we can count our blessings but as a human being its tough to hold patience in such situation when your people make you feel life cursed. Having understanding and well behaved people in life is the biggest blessing and you'll realize it more when you don't have it.