"As long as there is somebody who can print money and you are all just focused on money, not health, there will be no peace on earth. If you wanna be healthy, connect."
 — A German doofus whom felt the need to criticize me (on my own damn post, nog al) and behave like a dick on the Internet, four days ago

So, I gave him a gentle rebuke as a warning when I saw it:

"You know, I was starting to feel some empathy for you and your mistreatment at the hands of totalitarian authorities (possibly even fascists, for all I know) until you brought the judgements. It’s rich to tell people to focus on their health and community when they don’t have the money necessary to buy enough to eat. You don’t know me or my situation. Back the fuck up! Perhaps it would do you good to learn that there’s more to life than intelligence (as I did). Genius is over-rated.

It’s a dog-eat-dog world I can’t escape despite my best efforts. (Believe me, I have tried to get out, multiple times and in multiple ways, including attempting suicide more than once.) It’s best just to go along with the Capitalist system and work it to one’s advantage as best one can, no matter how much one finds it abhorrent. There is no other choice once it becomes clear that alternate options have failed.

Being a dick to strangers online, though, that’s definitely a choice you made. Nobody forced you to do that. You’re just another arsehole on the Internet, another troll in the dungeon. How original of you! Well done! I would offer you further insult (of which I have many), but schmucks like you are a dime a dozen and not worth me further wasting my time."

Of course, being the idiot that he is and failing to realise he'd been licked, he took four days (four days!) of drooling into his lap to respond with this drivel:

"No idea why you feel offended, dog. Maybe because you wanna be a dog. I am a man, not a dog Men [sic] feed dogs, men kill dogs.

If you feel offended by something you caused, feel free to change yourself instead of complaining about the messenger who tells you the truth."

Oh, I did warn him, but he still asked for it, the dunce!

Only cruel and insensitive men like you and Donald "he died like a dog" Trump kill dogs (or think calling someone a dog is an insult). My dogs (technically my landlord's dog and mine, but let's not pull fur) eat better than I do. I work on weekends with some pretty pampered and very well-loved pooches. Some people even travel half way across the country to bring their best beloveds to the kennels when they go on vacation, have even named the manager as the next owner of their dog in their wills if they should snuff it. That's how well we care for them. You didn't know that, did you, bitch boy? (I know that you didn't, because I was only told that for the first time this past Saturday and didn't write it anywhere until now.) All you know is the story that I sold you here, if you even bothered to read it, dummkopf! If I could trade places with those dogs, I'd rather be a dog than a man, in a fucking heartbeat. Dogs aren't forced into putting on a gimp suit and driving many kilometers from home to work jobs they hate with people they don't like all so they can afford to eat, pay fiat money (bills of debt) to extortionists whom don't deserve it (banksters, financial brokers and insurers) and buy fuel and vehicles in order to go back to work and repeat the stupidly pointless cycle of degrading debt/wage-slavery, ad infinitum, add tedium, all so as to make private dictators and tyrants richer, until they suffer burnout and mental breakdowns.

In your misplaced and unwelcome presumption, du mir sagen willst die Wahrheit, Herr Schiesskopf? Well, well, that is the true nature of Capitalism for you, arschloch! Pull the other one; it has got fucking bells on! Sich verpissen, mate! I told you once, but you didn't take the advice, so now Ich werde dir das alles überlassen.

All you read and wear or see and hear on TV is a product begging for your fat-ass, dirty dollar (Deutschmark?). Shut up and buy, buy, buy my new record! Buy, buy, buy, send more money. Fuck you, buddy!

As for you, on the other hand, you titanic shitgibbon, you hooker with a penis (whether you'll admit it or not) ...

"I see it took you a whole four days of drooling mindlessly into your lap to come up with that pathetically lame and stupid response (assuming you didn’t get help with it from someone else, which is highly likely). It took me a matter of minutes to come up with this when I saw your response. Not such a genius now, are you, Deutsch schweinehund mit un backpfeifengesicht? No, what sie ist, really, is just another slug-slimed poo fungus on a vulture turd in a punch bowl at the prom of some unremarkable one-eyed-horse hick town, a pathetic and sniveling fetid placental sack that your mother kept instead of the baby and called Shit-for-Brains! Don’t think that I can’t tell, Mr. Dunning-Kruger Award winner, because it’s as obvious as the look of a person suffering from an abundant lack of both education and gorm.

I reject your reality and substitute my own! Well done, twat strudel, for now getting yourself blocked when you should have just walked away! (I did fucking warn you, didn’t I, dipshit?) Go boil your bottom, you rat bastard whoreson of a silly person, you complete fucking salad tosser!"

• When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
• If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
• When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

  — from The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

You can argue that I've broken some of those eleven rules and thus deserved what I got, but I wouldn't try that, if I were you (particularly since I don't identify as a Satanist, chiefly because the magic aspect puts me off and I haven't read the Satanic Bible in its entirety ad made a decision about it yet). Also, it was my own fucking post, on my own fucking blog, so I'll argue that it was "in my lair", to use Le Vey's phrase. (That means that anyone whom engages me, long-time follower or not, has to show me respect when arguing/disagreeing with me, as many of my followers do, or fuck off. It also means I get to treat them however I deem fit when I respond. Followers generally get shown respect, but random dickheads get stabbed.) This is what happens when you "come at me, bro", unprovoked. May that be a warning to the rest of you mouth-breathing evolutionary throwbacks with low-slung monobrow ridges. If you have to so much as think twice (a real challenge for some, I know) about giving me shit on my own posts, it's best (for your sake) to fuck off before I tear you a new one too. The Ratel will hurt you, mortally. It DNGAF! There's a reason the SANDF called their armored vehicles Ratels in the good old bad old days where things would have gone very hard for the aforementioned German, not that I wish such disgustingly inhumane treatment on anyone. As someone from a country that once suffered under the Nazis (whom the Nats of mine admired, no less), you'd think he'd have more sense, but no! That guy's sauerkraut fell off his laugenbroetchen a long time ago!

"And the Ratel said unto the Deutsch Dummkopf, 'Verily, cast thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks', and the Deutsch Dummkopf gave witness unto the field, and saw that it was barren."

 — Book of Snark

Thumbnail image: African Honey Badger (AKA Ratel), which (in)famously DNGAF, according to some guy named Randal! Copyright Wikimedia commons