Hello there (or Konichiwa, as the Japanese/Nipponese and Weeabos would say)! For those of you whom don't already know, aren't familiar with my creative efforts, I am the one and only Great White Snark (or Snarku-san, an Animé neko-kun avatar representation thereof, for the purposes of the video that follows), brought to you by the wonderful magic of Vtube vlogging and YouTube.

You may now proceed to watch the podcast/vlog video of this on Youtube or, if you prefer, continue reading for the script I used (on which it's based, with ad-lib alterations during the course of recording) to create it. (Hopefully, reading this will take you less time than listening to me ramble on, with awkward pauses, as I try not to look away from my camera for too long.) Given that it's my first attempt at VTubing, I'm rather pleased with how it turned out, including the addition of comedic sound effects and clips during the moments where I paused to read the script I wrote. (I think that the plummy fake British toff so-and-so twit accent, ala Monty Python's Flying Circus and Little Britain but with less exaggeration, seems apt for/to the character, somehow ... I plumbed for a deeper and more bass-rich version of my voice, rather than shrill, but I could have gone the other way and made it more feminine. I might yet do that, since I have an avatar that's ideal to use for that.)

His father uses him as a wastepaper basket and his mother won the derby!

 Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but shu' up! I'll stab you in the arm wi' a pencil!

Shall I vlog as a VTuber? Maybe I could have a career doing voice-overs, since I fancy myself good at imitating accents (to some extent; I can't do Irish or Americans outside the Deep South).


Perhaps NekoPara's Coconut as a neko-chan from the American Deep South, even though she's supposed to be a Maine Coon and Maine is decidedly a Northern state (or maybe a Scottish Fold from Scotland), next, if I can get the pitch-shifting right ...

A while ago, I got it into my head that I wanted to have my own audio-only podcast version of my writings, ideally even conversations with other people (because having guests on keeps things interesting). I decided that would be a good idea (if only I could figure out how to publish/upload that content, such as getting it onto Fountain.fm and/or iTunes, something which I should probably investigate further). I think that doing so would probably help to grow my fan base and potentially earn me more for my various artistic/creative efforts. However, I am highly uncomfortable with the idea of having my real face, real name and real voice (my true identity, essentially) bandied about on the Interweb and make efforts to take precautions when I do, usually because I have no other choice. Fuck KYC, quite frankly! (Some call me ... Tim ... or Phil, or Nigel! I am none of these people. I swear I'm really a quite fetching meaty little sausage neko beast! You be telling people that meow, m'kay?! M'kay!) At some point, I want to learn to make and rig my own avatar so that I can move beyond relying on someone else's creation. It's a time-consuming and expensive process, though ...

Just imagine the possibilities for sexy posh British neko-chan cuties in BDSM/fetish gear (and potential income from popularity) if I decide to represent my persona as female ... Hello, boys; care for indulging my penchant for mindfuckery with some virtual cat-fishing? Who's a pretty kitty, then? // If it exists, it's somebody's fetish! Neko-chans are one of mine. Shiny and tight clothing is another. Add in red hair and I am weak at the knees. Hello there, Scarlet Chase!

As I've mentioned, I've long wanted to have my own podcast, but how to keep my identity secret proved to be a bit of a poser (hence wanting to confine/restrict it to audio-only). So I learned how to shift the pitch of my voice by an octave or two. (Audacity makes it super easy to do in  post! It can also merge multiple audio tracks into one stereo file. Since OBS Studio allows recording other applications and KDEnlive allows muting the audio of a video and adding additional audio, I have the ideal setup, except for the fancy studio mic with a pop filter, which I can't afford.) Then, thanks to Anthony Padilla (AKA his VTuber avatar Padildo) and Nux Taku, I discovered the VTube phenomenon and saw a solution that could work well for me keeping my identity secret (or at least hidden), particularly since motion capture could help to add the missing element to audio-only content.

Anthony Padilla spent a day with VTubers

Anthony Padilla spent a day with Nux Taku

To be honest (on the Internet of all places, nog al), I'm not sure I've got the hang of the whole VTubing/vlogging thing yet, even though I did mess about with it a bit, then practice and rehearse. (Being highly introverted and antisocial, I feel uncomfortable speaking freely and giving speeches  without a script, especially publicly and/or with a camera pointed at me.) But, nothing ventured means nothing gained, right? So I shall persist with this, because it's something I want to do.

All this rambling preamble (likely a consequence of my overthinking almost everything and writing long-form posts) is primarily to say that I intend to (and most likely will) vlog using VTube studio or similar at some specified point in the future. Please look out for that on YouTube (and maybe Vimeo, when I can afford a paid account) if you're interested in listening to me speaking what I have to say (rather than, or in addition to, what I have to write). Maybe I'll even put it on Hideout TV to boost viewing numbers in the hope of one day reaching the ridiculously high numbers for monetisation (and have to change my avatar/her clothes to avoid being demonetised) ...

Alternately, I could just go back to my original plan of reading the classics (mainly Oscar Wilde and William Shakespeare) for both my enjoyment and that of others.

Of course, supporting me on Band Camp, BMC and Patreon (links below in the "Resources" section, as always) would really help me out with my dire financial situation. Of course, leaving a like and a tip on this post to encourage me also helps.

The obligatory Patreon introduction video, as required by Patreon

Thank you; that is all for now. Good day/night/whatever to you, good sir/madam/whatever. Snark out! Goodbyeeee!

PS: Tonight, I said I ate curried vag (instead of curried veg) for supper. Hmm, well, I wish! Wouldn't that have been great? One letter, one mispronunciation, made a big difference ... I need to get and take my expensive prescription jugs, just like Sleepy Joe (not to be confused with Sleepy Jey). True Internash-sufferdepressure, or something!

Ah, the human gaffe machine strikes again!

On that bombshell of a Freudian slip, I am off to bed.

Thumbnail image: Oni, the avatar I'm currently using for/with VTube vlogging, made by some bloke whose name I can't recall. Studio background image by/from someone on Pexels