Ignore The Filthy Nocoiners Pleas For Help

Bienvenidos mis ositos, tu siempre eres mis queridos! (Welcome back little bears you are always my dears!)

Hello Frens!

I don’t know about you guys but I’m still salty about how we were treated the past few years. Not only did we have to endure a brutal, cold, and dank crypto winter we were mocked and ridiculed.

Not just by “elected” officials but sometimes our own flesh and blood!

The endless accusations and taunting by the media and their bankster and TradFi elite buddies.

But all of a sudden the suit and tie crowd had a miraculous change of heart!

Amazing what a few basis points on an ETF expense ratio can do.

The normies have a new toy to speculate with.

But not everyone is on board yet.

Now all of a sudden people want to talk to me about this newfangled Bitcoin “thing”.

In a sense I’m happy that normies can get Bitcoin indirectly via an ETF wrapper. This means the Wall Street advertisements are working and they can pump our bags.

But the ethos is probably gone.

Most of the questions are fiat price based.

How high can it go?

Will it hit $100K?

The correct question should be how can I get my satoshis off an exchange and into a self custody solution?

Ol’ Panda tried to be a nice guy and spread the Satoshi gospel, but he had the door slammed in his fat furry face!

He had to crawl on his hands on knees and grovel for Bitcoin attention.

But now the shoe is on the other foot.

Now the filthy nocoiners have the nerve to beg us for help.

You can’t have any, the billionaires have gotten in on the action!

You’ll probably have to make do with the latest poop coin but make no mistake there’s no substitute for a SCARCE digital asset that YOU have in self custody.

It feels good to have the last laugh and wave my fat paw dismissively at the fiat poors.

Remember frens they had their chance and they blew it.


Panda: What a shocker!

Troll’s Granny: You mean two in the bush and one in the tush?

Panda: Not that type of shocker!

Troll’s Granny: You know I still don’t understand you crypto weirdos but I have to admit you guys have started to look more manly and virile lately!

Panda: That’s right it’s YOUR turn to get on your hands and knees and BEG for it.

Troll’s Granny: Did you get BIGGER AND GIRTHIER?

Panda: Just like the Bitcoin daily candles!

Troll’s Granny: OHHHHH!

Panda: Not so fast, I’m a man of means now! You think you can just jump my bones like that?

Troll’s Granny: But I’m desperate!

Publish0x Troll: Why can’t you let Granny have some fun?!?

Panda: Make me a nice steak dinner to start and I’ll CONSIDER it woman! And call some of your cute friends from the retirement home!

Publish0x Troll: You can’t talk to her like that!

Troll’s Granny: He earned it Troll, you mean like Gertrude?

Panda: Ha! No I mean like Nurse Nancy!

Troll’s Granny: But she’s only 50!

Panda: I’m trading up! Besides I’m going to need a place to rest my fat head tonight…


Publish0x Troll & Granny:  Aaagh!


Remember to move your investment grade crypto to a safe place like a hardware wallet!

Don’t f!@# it up this time! Your financial future depends on it!


Obviously none of this is formal financial or tax advice. You need to find qualified professionals in your jurisdiction.

Be sharp, stay hungry let’s get that money!



How do you rate this article?


Suerte Panda
Suerte Panda

Fuzzy Defi Enthusiast

How to transition from TradFi to DeFi
How to transition from TradFi to DeFi

The easiest way to convert DeFi infidels is to show them modern versions of TradFi services that they already use.

Send a $0.01 microtip in crypto to the author, and earn yourself as you read!

20% to author / 80% to me.
We pay the tips from our rewards pool.