Sometimes, many times, I’ve envisioned him and me in our home together..
him hunched over a drafting table, drawing the cartoon superhero, or mapping out his business plan ..
me, making us supper and listening to music and coming up behind to hug him tight..
it feels happy just to imagine it, and I’m supposed to, says the YouTube folk who want us to manifest our dreams..believe they will be..
but God says we’re supposed to ask what He wants for us, not our own wants, but His..and to accept whatever that is and have courage to carry it out..
So which is it? what I dream of and hunger for, or what God knows I need? I think it’s the latter..but I wish both things were right..because how badly do I want to have that life together and hug that fella tight?
how to let go of any outcome, how to surrender, how to lose control?
But I t was only the illusion of control girl, you never were in charge..