Bob's reason for doing all the things that he has been doing is because he wanted to have "SEX". "SEX" people he wanted to have "SEX". I have never been abused physically and mentally because my other half wanted to have "SEX" , or have I ever heard of it happening either. I was getting abused on all angles. 

I stopped wearing makeup because he said that I was attracting men when we were out shopping. I stopped wearing shorts in fact because he said they were all to short. I started wearing jeans every time we went out or long shorts. I found myself changing. I use to be always laughing, smiling and singing especially. But now it was not so much. I was afraid to have my friends come over because when they did, Bobs would always be around, no matter where I chose to hang out with my friends he was in the same room. I would be having personal girl talk and bob's would be right there in the room, I would tell him to leave and he would say there was no need. I felt like I was beyond trapped. 

I was drinking a lot. I never use to drink because I saw the things that it did to my family members that drank. But I took up drinking to ease my pain and try to take away the hurt that I was going through at the time. One night I went out with my girlfriend to her house right down the street and came home and wanted to go out with her take a cruise down to the beach, bob's leans forward to me after already slapping me in my face and head butts me right in my left side of my face. I then start to feel warm dripping down my face and sharp aching pain, I run to the bathroom and look in the mirror my face is covered in blood. I run out of the bathroom crying and telling him to get out of my way because I was leaving, I did not want to stay there no more, that was bull shit what you just did to me , I kept saying to him. 

I head to our bedroom and then realize that bob's mom and her friends were playing cards at the kitchen table while all this is going on. One of bob's moms friends is a cops mom. I thought she would have called the cops seeing my face covered in blood, but nope that is not what happened next. What happened next bob's mom looks at me and says what did I say or do to provoke him to do that to me and she guess I deserve it. I was looking at her with blood dripping down my face crying and was just left with no words but to say I am leaving, and with bob's mom saying well go then. I am walking out the door and Bob's comes running out of the house after me. I then start running faster and look behind me and he is not chasing me anymore. I continue walking and see a car approaching me and come to find out it's my girlfriend and she has Bob's brother in her car, she sees me and is tripping out and she says to me let me drop of me Larry and I be right back girl, I tell her okay I'm just going to keep walking. My girlfriend picks me up and takes me down to the beach where she was hanging out and finally takes a real good look at me in the light. she is pissed now. My girlfriend is yelling and saying she gonna kill him and she does not understand how someone so sweet can be like that. Well I told her no one really knows what happens behind closed doors and I am one of those who deal with a lot of abuse physical and mental girl. My girlfriend looked at me crying telling me that she is sorry, and she wants to take me to hospital or the cops even, that's when I look at her and say no, she looks at me and says what do you mean no, I look her crying blood dripping down my face , I love him girl, she says omg, okay , whatever, and she takes me back to bob's house hours later. 

I go into the house and Bob's is holding my legs on the floor saying sorry, sorry, sorry I love you. I look at him and say yea I love you too , I want to go to bed my head hurts. Bob's just says ok and kisses my lips and head and says I love you , I am so sorry. I go to sleep and wake up with a black and blue left side of my face an can not see out of left eye. I dealt with the pain for almost 3 weeks, then it went away. There was a time bob's and I were fighting and arguing and he took my phone and I went to get it back reached over his shoulder to get it and he fell back right on my left leg and then I finally had my phone and was trying to get off the floor to get to the door and he dragged me right back to the floor and across the floor. I ended up taking Bob's 4 wheeler to Na'alehu from pahala on the back roads, to get to my mom who was down at the farmers market that day in Na'alehu. Before reaching my mom I stop at a ranch on the back roads that bob's brother was working at. I stopped there to tell him about what his brother had just done to me, and showed him that I could hardly walk and my left knee was popping out and moving every which way, Bob's brother was shocked. I then left and went to my mom. 

When I reached my mom yelling swearing literally, my mom was in complete shock of what had just happened to me, for bob's mom was also at the farmers market selling fruits and veggies too, and she was on the phone with Bob's when I had arrived. I was crying showing my mom my left leg and knee and bob's mom approaches me and my mom and say's again what did I say or do to provoke him and why can I not just shut my mouth and keep it shut. My mom looked at bob's mom and said, don't you talk to my daughter that way, how dare you? And then my mom told me to take the atv back to pahala and she will pick me up at the house and take me down to the ER. My mom reached pahala and took me to the ER where they x-rayed my leg and knee and found that all my ligaments in my knee were completely broken. The ER dr then said they would refer to me a surgeon in hilo or kona which ever I prefered. I chose hilo, there was less turns on the road. 

I then got a dr appointment scheduled and set up to see the surgeon. The surgeon looks at the x-rays and says to me that I am going to need to have surgery done. I was really scared, but also this was not the first surgery that this surgeon that I was seeing had performed on me. The first boyfriend I had hit me with a baseball bat in my lower back and left me with a huge cyst that was the size of a golf ball, that was removed by the surgeon that I was seeing now about my knee. The surgeon scheduled my surgery and I went through with it. After I came out of surgery the first thing my boyfriend says is why it took me so long to wake up? I mean seriously , I got no I love you , I got a stupid ass question. But anyways I go home to pahala and two days later bobs dad's dog gets loose, no one is home, I am the only one home and around and that would even care enough to do anything. So I get off the couch from watching television and go outside and try to call bobs dads dog to me. The dog does not come to me, instead he runs the opposite direction and up a hill nonetheless, So what do I do, I run up the hill after bobs dads dog, and need I remind you my knee is wrapped up and all swollen from just having surgery done two days before. Well the dog runs further away and I do not get the dog. Instead I ended up going to the ER again 4 days later because my entire leg is now swollen and I can't even see my toes. I took myself yet again down to the ER because my boyfriend and his mom kept telling me to just elevate my leg the swelling will go down and it was nothing major to worry about. 

Now I am in the ER I took myself with the atv. The ER dr then takes x-rays and ultrasound and immediately comes in and says that I need to be medivaced to hilo or kona hospital now. I am crying and scared and ask him why what is going on dr? The dr looks down at me while im laying in the hospital bed and says my dear you have a DVT blood clot. The dr then tells me that I need to have something done about it and require further assistance at a bigger hospital that is further equipped to do so. I afreed and called my boyfriend and told him about what was going to happen and what was going to be done, and to my surprise my boyfriend bob says that he will come down and drive the atv back to the house and they going take me to the hospital. Now I agreed but not knowing that they did not care about my life at all. I got picked up by bob and he took me back to the house only to wait almost 2 hours for them to get ready to take me to the hilo hospital, I was in a lot of pain need I remind you and this was a life threatening situation I was in. I have blood clots in my left leg that could spread and or break off from each other and travel very fast to my heart and kill me, the ER dr and dr's have told me this themselves.

So I finally reach hilo hospital about 3 and a half hours later and the dr's there tell me that I have stay in the hospital because they have to monitor me and put me on some meds that require IV. I agreed but I was very scared for I have never ever stayed in the hospital, the only time that I had stayed in the hospital I was much younger. I was kind of not scared because I had my boyfriend with me, so I thought. Bob's turns around and looks at me and says that he is not staying with me because he has to drive his moms friends truck back home to pahala, because bob's mom and bob's moms friend truck was they used to take me to the hospital in hilo. Bob's moms friend does not drive her truck outside of ka'u because she is blind in one eye and she can not really see good, but she says she knows how to drive in the ka'u area but has ran into an hit many things, lols. Well anyways bob's does go home and I end up staying in the hospital for 3 days by myself. My mom came to see me the following day and my aunty came to see me every day. 

When I got home after being in the hospital with DVT blood clots, Bobs was no help at all, nor was his family. My other family next door came up every other day and checked up on me and brought me food too, that was so sweet of them. I was moved out of my room into bob's dads room with bob's dad, because bob's and bob's mom said would be more comfortable for me to sleep in a hospital bed that bob's dad was sleeping on. I thought that was rude for bob's them to just kick bob's dad off his hospital bed and give it to me to use for the time being. But anyways when I had to learn to use the grouches I had no help at all. My boyfriend went down to the pharmacy picked up my grouches and brings them home and gives them to me and leaves. I got strong upper body now let me tell you that much, lols. But I could not find the strength one day to go the bathroom to take a shower and was yelling for my boyfriends help, and you know what he tells me, he tells me that I am just frickin being a cry baby and I'm hopeless. I started crying and pushed him away, bob looked at me yelling at me saying I pushed him away because I know what he is saying is true. When all in all truth I was beyond hurt, because I had just come out of surgery for 1 and then 2nd I ended right back in the hospital with DVT blood clots. I had a real reason to be crying and wanting my boyfriends help in that moment in time. Well I decided to climb into the shower, I started taking a shower screaming because this was my first shower and the streaming of the water hitting my knee and leg was so painful, it hurt so much. Well I fell in the shower and bob comes in the bathroom yelling at me and telling me that I am stupid and I do not know what I am doing. I mean really people, this is what I dealt with. Bobs helped me out the shower and I got dressed and that was that.

Now the mental abuse starts getting worse. About I would say 6 1/2  years into my relationship with bob, I had thought about having kids many times, I had even thought about getting married, because I thought wow 6 1/2 years is a long time so far to be with someone and stick it out through what I have been through, I thought must be true love. You might find this odd, strange, and even extremely weird like I did, Because what I am about to tell you next will shock the shit out of you all, it will leave you mind blown for a little while at least it did for me. I ask bob a question and ask him to answer honestly and truthfully? Bobs looks down at me and says .......

Stay tuned for Part 4

Thank You for reading my post

( ALL WHAT I WRITE IS TRUE AND IS ABOUT ME AND OR WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH )