We want to feel secure but sometimes you need to let go of the secure to find real security.
Having been born in the Netherlands where everything is planned from the cradle to the grave, like so many others I tried to build a stable secure life with as little surprises as possible. After college I started my career and almost right away started saving for my pension. I was in my early twenties thinking about retirement!
Most people want a steady job with a fixed income to feel secure. A paycheck every month can really ease your mind. No financial worries! You know up front how much money you will make each month and you can plan your expenses accordingly. Perfect right? Yes, I also used to think this but have since found it is a false sense of security.
False sense of security
Once I had that steady job I took on a mortgage and bought my own home because what can be more secure than owning you own home! I had a company car but if not would surely have taken out a loan to buy a car. I could afford the monthly payments now so why not right? Before you know it your fixed monthly expenses are equal to, or exceed, your monthly income. So even with the security of a steady job and my own home I was still worrying because any unforeseen circumstance could be a huge problem now. Of course this is no issue as long as you do not lose your job. No worries, what are the chances of that happening, right?
Lighten your load
When you have nothing you also have nothing to lose! Once you start building up this sense of security you become more risk averse and less flexible. You become like a tree that gets its roots more firmly planted and is not as easily moved anymore. There is nothing wrong with this but I found that this made it difficult for me to make the decision to quit my job and start over in another country, on the other side of the world, and start my own business.
How secure are you really?
It can be a very scary thought to let go of what you perceive as being the secure pillars of your life, your job, your house, pension plan, etc.. But it helps to understand these may actually be providing you the security you think. Your job security does not just depend on your direct actions for example. There is only so much you can do to make sure you will not be out of a job. Most of the factors that will determine if you will keep your job are outside of your influence. Owning your own house may seem like a secure option but that is only the case if you either paid it off in full or if you have the ability to meet the monthly mortgage payments.
Until you pay of your mortgage you owe a debt, not own a house.
When we decided to move to Mexico and start a new life the housing market in the Netherlands was in a poor state and we would have to sell our house at a loss. We ended up having to keep the house and try and rent it out and see if we can sell it in the future.
It was a difficult decision to leave all these certainties and start a business. And even-though in the beginning I was making no money and we were not sure if we would be able to cover our expenses I was now more in direct control of my own destiny. We could easily move into a cheaper house if needed and I myself decided where to dedicate my efforts in order to increase my revenue. Although I had no certainty about how much money I would make I was feeling much more secure because I knew I was flexible enough to adjust my path as I saw fit.
Security in flexibility
It was not easy for me to let go of the secure life I had built up because it went against my instincts and all I had been thought. But the experience has shown me that being more in direct control of my life gives me a much bigger sense of security, even with all the uncertainty. Of course I still worry but having flexibility and having gained experience of failing and adjusting gives me the confidence that no matter what may happen I will be able to find a solution. The certainty of knowing that fact is all the security you need.
What most people think would give them security actually may be what weighs them down and puts them at risk. By locking themselves in more and more, over time they become less flexible and less prone, and less able, to make changes in their lives.
If your dream is to one day be your own boss or search for a better job try to remain flexible and do not let yourself get bogged down so that when the opportunity arrives you are ready and able to jump on it.
