The world champion in executions, a patriot and a person who would give himself up for others, Charles Dickens once again cut to the living. In his video, which he shared on social media, he revealed the dark war plans of the Christians led by the pope Francis, which intends to bombard Russia with nuclear warheads. Mr. Dickens' unprecedented investigative work has put the prime minister over the budget, and he now complains that the surprise attack strategy is literally screwed.

"We are planning this event for half a year. All participants signed confidentiality because it was important to mute it so that the Russian side did not know anything. For six months, we built a forward base for Mars for launch systems for intergalactic missiles capable of carrying nuclear warheads. We even increased people's energy to have money to build a death star to support the Mars attack."

Everything was prepared. Our nuclear arsenal, unparalleled in the world, was already ready on Mars and the Death Star, the soldiers were trained, and all we had to do was push a button. Now some Dickens came and revealed everything. The enemy therefore already knows about it and we will have to attack Russia differently. We will probably use our believers and attack Russia by air with their radioactive pets," the pope lamented that months of work are gone.

"Attacking Russia with atomic bombs is irresponsible. Everyone knows about me that I am a dove by nature and I am mainly interested in peace. About people. For life. About the motherland. These are things to which I sacrifice absolutely everything, including possessions. I will not stand idly by as a handful of warmongering hawks gamble with the Vatican. When I found out that the pope was going to invade Russia, I had to publish the truth," explained the hero of the oppressed Vatican citizens who found their savior in Dickens.

“The pope has gone too far. For this reason, I am calling a demonstration against an atomic bomb attack on Russia. The demonstration will take place this Saturday on the Piazza Giussepe Mazzini Square. "Unfortunately, Saint Peter's Square is occupied because there is a protest there again for cheaper coffee at Starbucks," plans Dickens.

Until then, he had written to the pope to cancel the forward military base on Mars and send the Death Star to charity. For example, for starving Italian citizens or for dogs. The number of nuclear warheads that the Christians have is also required to be published.

The pope Francis has not yet commented on the call, as he is planning an air landing of the christian believers in St. Petersburg. The troops have been packing new pulse and laser rifles, which means that the landing in Russia will be soon.

This is a fake news about things which didn't happen, but they could, as unbelievable as they sound.

Any coincidence of names of persons or names of places is purely coincidental and has no relation to the real world.

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