The Paradox of Absent Love.

By Trama | Escrituras | 20 Aug 2023


A veces, la vida nos brinda la oportunidad de compartir historias que se graban en lo más profundo de nosotros. Recientemente, mi amiga de toda la vida me confió un fragmento de su mundo que siempre había mantenido en la sombra. Su relato de cariño maternal retenido me conmovió y, con su consentimiento, me gustaría compartir la narración que me confió.

Cada vez que evoco su historia, surge la imagen de mi amiga: su sonrisa inquebrantable, sus ojos rebosantes de determinación. Sin embargo, debajo de esa sonrisa, debajo de esa determinación, se encuentra una oleada de emociones que solo aquellos que han soportado ausencias similares pueden comprender verdaderamente.

"It's as if my heart always carries with it an empty space," she confessed, her voice echoing years of longing. The ceaseless search for maternal affection began in her childhood. She grew up sensing an emotional void, a feeling of inadequacy, of something deeply amiss. In her eyes, I sensed the sadness of a child yearning to be loved by the one who should've been her secure haven.

Each word she shared resonated the depth of her pain. She recounted how her mother was always physically present, yet emotionally distant. She grew up without warm embraces, without the uplifting words she so yearned to hear. "I always felt I had to double my efforts to earn her approval, to prove I deserved her love," she confessed, her moist eyes baring her vulnerability.

Throughout the years, my friend attempted to fill the void in her heart through various means. She immersed herself in relationships, longing to find validation and love her mother couldn't provide. She poured herself into academic and professional achievements, hoping that by attaining remarkable goals, she'd finally secure the attention and acknowledgment she so yearned for.

However, each achievement seemed only to deepen the wound. "Sometimes, I still feel like that little girl desperately seeking her mother's love," she whispered, and in that instant, I understood her struggle was ceaseless, a shadow relentlessly trailing her.

Yet amid this struggle, a story of hope and courage emerges. My friend is learning to heal, to peel away the layers of accumulated pain, and fill her own heart with self-love. Through therapy and emotional support, she's discovering she deserves love and care, even if it wasn't delivered in the way she craved. "I'm working on becoming my own source of affection and support," she declared, a determination igniting her eyes.

Listening to my friend's story, I've learned we all carry our own internal battles, our hidden struggles beneath the smiles we present to the world. Maternal love withheld is an experience that can shape one's self-perception and relationships. But it's also a tale of strength and triumph, of learning to heal and find love in new, unexpected forms.

Hoy, mi amiga continúa su viaje de autodescubrimiento y sanación. Cada día es un paso para abrazar su historia y crear un futuro lleno de amor propio. Su historia nos recuerda la importancia de la compasión y el apoyo, de ofrecer un hombro en el que alguien pueda apoyarse en momentos de vulnerabilidad. En medio de toda esta paradoja, me quedo pensando en la ironía de la vida: la misma persona que nos da la vida también puede retener partes de ella.

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