Under the surface I feel so alive

the water, it saves me

every time I dive

cold, numbing my soul

light fading from sight

at last I've found a peaceful night

But I snap awake

and cannot breathe

bottom of the lake

and cannot leave

air escapes 

my will breaks

thought I was safe

in this lake of my own

but waves of judgment are crashing down

whirlpools of regret keeping me under

a lake in my head

made just for me

I'm drowning I dread

But no one can see

This is an older poem I wrote, seems like many years ago, another life maybe. I did change a few minor things from the original draft in my notebook. Changing a word here or there and that was about it.