Strength: Some students achieved their Personal Best. Their composition conformed to the writing conventions of the story mountain. Most students indicated a problem in the writing. To build up on this, continue to emphasise the inclusion of beautiful phrases.
AOI: Students stated "special memory" without explaining how their incident made for a special memory. Have given feedback face to face for several students. Other actionable steps have been taken:
1) Personally wrote climaxes, character development, endings for various students and shared them with the class in hopes that they will serve as mentor texts.
2) Will give the class bite-sized targeted writing exercises. Case in point: one lesson required them to write about the character's happiness. Will zero in on conclusion writing for another lesson because none of the students has written a satisfactory and rousing ending. Creating opportunities for students to address the question requirements is integral to their success.
Thud! The sound of the cake smashing onto the ground stopped us in our tracks. My jaw dropped in disbelief.
How was I going to celebrate my birthday now that the cake was spoilt? My mind spun wildly with a mix of shock and disappointment, like clothes whirling around in a washing machine. I drew a sharp breath, trying to steady myself.
——-
My father must have noticed my fear.
“I’m here for you,” he said simply, enveloping me in a tight hug / squeezing my hand reassuringly.
I was scared stiff, but I peeked over at my father. He did not notice me as he seemed to be absorbed in his thoughts. I smiled at his comforting presence, determined to overcome my fear of heights.
——-
He remained unfazed by our heated exchange. With a look of determination etched on his face, he said firmly, “Let’s get along and not sweat the small stuff.” Our anger instantly dissipated upon hearing his words.
——-
Despite his best efforts, Lebron could not get a fire going. He passed the two rocks to me.
I checked the texture first to ensure that they were suitable for fire-making.
I then gathered dry grasses and made a slight indentation in the centre to catch sparks.
Taking a deep breath, I repeatedly struck one rock against another. Sweat soon drenched my shirt, but I refused to give up.
After what seemed like an eternity, my persistence was rewarded. The dry grasses finally caught fire!
