Parenting is a brutal transformation. It sucks all your time and energy and spits you out - a shadow of your former vitality. As it is, I am holding the baby girl while watching over the sleeping boy. I’m stuck literally and metaphorically; I can’t go anywhere else.

In this season of life where my mental acuity and emotional openness are compromised, I don’t think too much about work these days. I don’t think I’m coasting in the workplace but unlike the me who had very specific ideas as to what he wanted to do with his work life, I ain’t spinning such a wish list these days.

But there’s something I have increasingly come to realise. Teaching is a transient thing, much like the sakura or momiji that dazzles your eyes once a year. Of course I am not saying that my work is as eye-catching as these ephemeral beauties, but it seems that a lot of work done has their impact and influence demarcated by the current school year. Exam paper setting is one prime example. Student remarks writing is another. Very seldom do I find myself having to do work that spans across several years. I think of the Japanese craftsmen who devote their entire lives to honing their skills in one discipline - and feel envious. Their lives are lived with crystal-clear clarity and dignity.

Except that I also know that I’m not the type who wants to do something for an extended period of time. As the in-charge of the Spelling Bee for two consecutive years, I have tried to incorporate some routines and rituals into the processes this year. And I dare say I am successful, for ENFPs are great at putting random things together and mobilising the tribe to create something unique. Then again, I’m pretty certain that I don’t want to be the in-charge of Spelling Bee 2024. With my energy depleted by parenting, I got to be even more assertive as to where I wish to focus my God-given talents on.

So this is me in 2023 in a nutshell. Want to start creating a legacy by deepening my experience in an area I call my niche, but hesitant to do so do fear of getting bored. Let’s see if I gain more clarity in the last 3 months in 2023.