I have had “The Everything Parent’s Guide to Positive Discipline” for the longest time but was never motivated to read it. When parenting leaves you drained and depleted of time, the last thing you’d want to do is read up on parenting.

But because my son’s kindergarten’s latest magazine dwelled on positive discipline, I thought I would give this book a go. Specifically during my babysitting session with my boy so that at least he catches me engrossed in a book instead of with my phone.
Lest you slam me for being an uninvolved dad, I must state the brutal realities confronting me. I think time passes swiftly and slowly at the same time. I get so many competing demands simultaneously - connect the rails, feed him bread and Milo, answer his incessant questions - that it’s a miracle I don’t develop vertigo. Then, he takes forever to finish his breakfast because play is foremost on his mind. In a nutshell, parenting is sheer madness and boredom.
But back to the book. So despite everything, I had the presence of mind to read Chapter 3 and learn that you can *influence* your child but not *control* him. I was pleased to find out that I have already been employing *keeping agreements* as a way to extend my influence over him. It’s easy to do so when he knows the Japanese word 約束 for promise and locks his pinkie with my pinkie whenever he wants to reassure me that he will deliver his end of the bargain. I haven’t been using 約束 so often, because my impression of it is that making a promise should be reserved for the big things. But now after reading this chapter, I’m wondering if I should just spam the use of 約束 as a daily practice so as to ingrain the value of keeping one’s word for him.

One tip I picked up was to check for understanding. (“What did you hear me ask? Tell me what I just said.”) I do this every day as a teacher and shouldn’t assume that my boy immediately understands what I want just because we are having a one-to-one conversation.
Somehow this chapter also discussed ADHD kids and I want to record this line “by establishing some degree of dependency on a stimulant drug to manage her behaviour now, you may affect her susceptibility to self-medicating with recreational drugs in the future” in case parents ask me to advise whether to get prescription drugs to manage the behaviour of their children with ADHD.
Till the next chapter!