Her mother died in childbirth. With her death, most of me died, but my daughter ... My daughter became the meaning of my whole life. This little man made me live far away. She grew up, and every day she filled my life with joy.
When she was 4 years old, she became very ill. The disease caused complications in her eyesight, and within a month, she became completely blind. The doctors did not say anything intelligible, saying that perhaps it will pass over time. However, it did not work. Only the operation could help.
My baby! She is smart. She is kind and helpful.
The other day, I quite accidentally heard her saying something on her smartphone. Later I found out that she kept a diary. I do not know why, but she used the program, and everything she said in her diary turned into text.
I know I did the wrong thing, but ... I read one of her notes. God, how stupid I did, not understand the depth of my daughter is suffering! I took the liberty of posting this note.
«Today I was not woken up by an alarm clock, and not by my father who rumbles like an elephant in the kitchen. The sun woke me up today. Yes, I am not kidding. It touched my face so tenderly, it was so pleasant. Even now, I understand how bright it is, because I see a bright spot, only very far and indistinct. But I remember what the sun looks like. I remember what the sky looks like. I remember what the grass and trees look like. Or maybe I think I remember.
I live by the sea, but I have never seen it. I can only hear him. Its noise is something majestic! But no matter how much I imagined him, I can't. I know it's huge, but knowing and understanding are two different things.
It is like a delusion in the opinion that it is enough for a blind person to touch another person's face, and he will know what he looks like. Nothing like this. He will just know what facial features the interlocutor has, but not how he looks in general. It's like a lego that can never be put together.
But I learned to identify the type of people by their laughter, intonation, smell. And even, at times, by their breath. But again, all this can only seem to me. No, though!
I don't remember what my dad looks like, but for some reason I can easily imagine him. He is a big, kind-hearted bear, who, when he is worried in a conversation with me, stops breathing, and at such moments I am constantly afraid for him that he will fall unconscious. I love the way it smells. He smells of love and kindness. And also very pleasant eau de toilette, which, as he says, my mother really liked. And I feel sorry for him. All his thoughts are occupied only by me. But he's not old, he's 46. And I'm sure he's handsome. Once he was a military man, and even fought, but for the sake of his mother he left the service.
He is a big and bearded bear that everyone turns to for help. Especially the woman's neighbors. I often hear from them what a great father I have. But it seems to me that he avoids them, fearing of offending me. We must somehow talk to him on this topic.
So, if someone thinks that a blind person understands what the world around him is, then he is mistaken. A blind person has no idea what this world looks like. He can only imagine it in different interpretations, based on the words of sighted people or descriptions from various sources. And, as a rule, understanding the general concept, a blind person builds another illusion for himself, which crumbles over time. Only that illusion survives that cannot be refuted. Well, like, don't stick your hand in the fireplace, as the fire can burn.
So it turns out that those who see live in the real world. And I live in a world of illusion. Father says that all this is temporary, but I know that he cannot change anything. He works day and night to feed us, not to mention the operation. I'm old enough to believe that miracles exist. And generally speaking…
I'm afraid. I am constantly afraid for my dad. What if something happens to him? What will happen to me then? Who will need me? I am afraid that something terrible will happen in the world because of this pandemic and the bad people. I am afraid that I will lose my friends who support me in everything in this life. I'm just afraid of my blindness. Nobody wants a blind girl.
However, nothing! As dad says: the road will be mastered by the one who walks along it. If only to see where this road is and where to go). "
Even now, as I write these lines, I cannot hold back my tears. I want to shout to the whole world that she is wrong, but that will change little.
I know that what I am doing now, my daughter will not understand yet. I taught her to always be strong and not ask anyone for help. I am not strong enough, because I want to ask for help from all people with a kind heart.
Please help me get my daughter's sight back. 80 thousand dollars is the cost of two operations, an amount that I will not earn in my two lives. We do not have a bank account, as not everyone in our country can afford it. I ask everyone with a sense of compassion to help and send money to a Bitcoin wallet:
I am a father, and I hope that she will understand why I am doing this. The worst thing is to understand that your child is unhappy. Then you are ready for desperate actions, but only this child does not allow anyone to do something stupid.
I ask you - help my baby get a chance for the future. Help her break out of her fear of uncertainty and regain her eyesight.
I believe that the world is still full of people who are not devoid of compassion for other people's children. May your children always be healthy. Take care of them!
With gratitude, Nik.