If I Were Satoshi Nakamoto

By Cryptolohy | cryptolohy101 | 9 Sep 2019

This article is better experienced with the following song IMO (play before reading)


Note: This article is part 1 of "0.3 Satoshi's" a mini-series of articles related to the creator of Bitcoin and the Blockchain. Also, this is just a thought experiment, it doesn't mean that I would endorse every single Satoshi post on Bitcointalk or his opinions/actions in general.


I am not Satoshi Nakamoto (obviously). However, I do have a certain inclination to imagine myself in different situations, you could call it a hobby, I call it free training. By imaging myself in different events and the hypotheticals of those imagined events, I can extract information that otherwise might be difficult to come across, and that has been of use in my life on multiple occasions.

For this mental experiment, I try to think about what is the context that surrounds Satoshi Nakamoto, and how I personally (probably) would react to those things. Then I double-check to see if that probable reaction would be plausible for my imagined version of Satoshi, and then I poured out my thoughts on here.

So, without further ado, here are some things that most likely would have happened if I were Satoshi, (without being too implausible for the imagined version of Satoshi stored in my mind).



Option A: I will hide my entire life


If I were a mathematical genius, interested in fighting the banks with something truly useful and truly threatening to their position, I will surely see from a mile away that the only realistic option would be to remain hidden, for my entire life, PERIOD, full stop.

Why being tortured in Guantanamo when you can watch the banks crying from the corner? Why pass through allegations of a false crime + bad press, before that, when you can have your cake and eat it too?


Option B: If my private keys were lost


This is easy, without a doubt, 1000%, completely sure, absolutely certain, as affirmative as the alphabet allows, with all my strength, hear me out, read my fonts, pay attention carefully...

If I would have lost my private keys, I would never, ever ever ever ever ever ever ever-700000x go back to the crypto scene as Satoshi. Ever, no-no, zero, nein, nada, zilch. E-V-E-R.

Just think about it,.... you retire at your max performance and hit it big, creating the most cited white paper in the history of white papers, and only come years later to share that you commit a grandma-like mistake on basic redundancy. No way!

Retiring as a soldier that is fighting the banks and winning (from his basement!) only to return with shame and be seeing as a fool and a fraud in need of ICO money.

In fact, the whole ordeal would be beyond pointless, since it is not only highly probable that almost no one will believe you, but even the ones believing you will think poorly of you.


"Hey, remember me?, I'm Satoshi, the guy who is beating Goldman Sachs, I just came back to tear down all of you guys' expectations about my IQ and attention to detail."


Forget it, if I lost my private keys, I lost my pseudonym. That's it.

Regardless, if I were Satoshi, my brain and the connections that it stored will still be there, and through meritocracy (and another meticulously selected pseudonym) I could easily create another blockchain, or even work on the same project, BTC.

Probably, in that case, no one will know that I'm Satoshi, but they will certainly notice that a serious competitor to Vitalik's IQ has arrived. Win-win.


Option C: If I had access to my keys


I will personally donate everything to a good cause like vivacristorey.org but since this is about a plausible option for Satoshi, what do I think is plausible for a Satoshi with 19 billion dollars in assets???


Let's see, some speculation.


1.- Create a decentralization bot that does an airdrop on every BTC wallet that has confirmed use and a balance of less than 0.001 BTC, so that the distribution of wealth gets serious, that bot would put an automatic memo saying "Hey, I'm Satoshi and you seem to need some cash, here's some, use it for good, bye..."

2.- I would move 0.00001 BTC to a known wallet of Craig Wright and all the faketoshis with a memo attached, saying something like, "Lying is extremely unethical, how dare you. Btw I'm Satoshi."

3.- Create a Bot that gives a good chunk of those 19 billion dollars and dispersed all that money into the most promising altcoins (from a satoshian-technical perspective) to end the BTC vs Altcoins debate once and for all, with memos saying, "Hey guys, you are supposed to work together against the Illuminati and the freemasons, don't be envious,.... btw I'm Satoshi."

4.- All of the above,...


What do you think? What would you do if you were Satoshi? Let me know in the comments!


Thank you for reading this article! this blog is still growing and I am very grateful for every reader around here. Make sure to check out my LBRY account, I am uploading videos there (that I might advertise or not around here) If you join via my invitation link you get from 20 to 40 LBC for free. :)


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