Ever wondered why Asian street markets are so much fun to go to as a customer to buy stuff? It's because you already know about them, have heard from others the benefits, and you want in on the action too. It's your natural FOMO tendency at work.

If you're going to freelance, however, you have to develop a bit of a salesperson approach to get people to want your work. Some people network, moving through connections to get to clients. Others use "middleman" services to connect to clients and work, paying a fee or commission to the middleman for a steadier supply of assignments and cash flow. However, cold-calling is probably the least-successful and fastest way to piss off a prospective client as a freelancer. Unfortunately, some people just don't get that message very well.

Minding my business eating my lunch I get this:

???

Not a good start, but I'm bored. Let's see where this goes:

Hmm...keep in mind, this is true cold-calling. I have no clue who this person is. They have reached out through a common forum via discord, but that's it. Most folks just block their DMs entirely, but I keep mine open as I get a lot of contacts from people who I do end up talking to as a result of my writing.

Next we get the thriller crescendo:

Well, it's not a crescendo. It's a face flop. But we'll still play along...

And finally, the cold pitch. Give me work, pay me, I do great things for you. Well, aside from the very annoying demandy voice, no references or any links to prior work are provided. If I was really interested in consigning art atm, which I'm not  (so don't ping me), I would really want to see a sample portfolio of what could be produced. Even I put my own writing links in my profile so people can see what I do right away. Nope, this one fails marketing 101. But it gets better:

Making demands after you just bombed a sales pitch isn't how you get a sale or a client or anything. You get a digital door slammed in your face. Maybe, if you're lucky, you get digitally eliminated too!

Seriously though, folks, don't be this person. Don't give online freelancers a bad name. Pitch your services smart. Even if you're just getting started, work through forums and connections and people. Warm sales are far more effective than cold-calling, even on the Internet.