Notes&Delirium
The more I want, the less I get.
In life, I wanted her as close as possible - I pushed her away.
We are still connected but barriers are between us. When we are in the same room it feels like we are in parallel universes. Close, yet unreachable are her eyes to my sight.
In the game, I took risks and lost.
I played when tired and lost.
I wanted to trick the system and had to start again.
I tried. I failed, I miss my old version. Grey, maybe, but stronger. Now:
Low key addicted, low key alcoholic, low key in love, low key aggressive.
Poorer, lonelier, tired. No harmony, no balance.
The shortcut for happiness crumbled. The dust is still in the air.
I put distance between her and me. I gave her the space she requested. I still wonder if that is what she wants or no... Will I ever know ?
Head is banging, heart is bleeding. A part of me knows it's the right move. Fewer contacts today, maybe a different tomorrow.
Sites are not banks, you can't trust them. My game has been overwritten. I'm grinding again. Maybe I'll lose 90$, maybe it's just a bit of extra time. I had played it before, so I was the first, technically, to try to cheat. A tie but in their favor.
Betfury is not fair. They refreshed the page, the basic bet returned my full balance. I was at the phone with her, did not check. Puff, gone.
I knew: double check, don't play when tired... . Lesson learned, habits not yet mutated. From today I'll play with just 100 tokens. The are staked and never gambled. Whatever happens, something will remain.
I finally brought the TRX faucet to Bronze, 0.02 TRX per click,. Ironically, my company blocks the site on my PC, while most of its sibling sites still work. Shibs, YAY !
I tried to mill every sat I can from Firefaucet and Final Autoclaim. Few cents but maybe the bull comes and those become dollars and the base for a better year.
I'm trying to stay healthy, it's day one. Maybe tomorrow will be day1 bis...
Thank you ! With ... I don't know... from Italy
Lazy
PS: I know, I'm too dramatic for a proper Capricorn
