When I started working,  everything was going smoothly, financially speaking. I was earning a decent salary, had a house and car, a wife and kid, and money left over at the end of the month.

Then I left my full time job for life as a contractor. I made more money than working full time. Life was great.

Until it came to a grinding halt when my contract ended. Luckily I had money to last me at least 6 months without having to work, and I used those funds to get by.

However, contracts became shorter and paid less, and as time went past, I found myself unable to make enough money to meet my monthly expenses.

Because I was a star customer,  my bank extended me sufficient credit on my credit card, and this saved my bacon many times.

What I didn't realize was that I was falling into a massive debt trap, where it was ok to live on borrowed money. I moved money around to make sure accounts were settled and bills were paid. I  borrowed from one account to pay another.

Unfortunately this had been a pattern for over 13 years for me now. And it's a hole I cannot escape.

In the past 15 years  there must be about 24 months in total where my credit card account has had a positive balance.

With the recent COVID-19 lockdown, I found myself borrowing more. I owe my bank, my brother, my Mom, my friend.

I'm good for the money,  and plan on paying back everything. How and when I don't know.

So as I contemplate my financial future,  I look back in regret for having not respected the power of a debt free life.

My situation is that I am unable to meet my debts. The positive thing is that I recognize this,  and I am working actively to.

a) reduce spending

b) stop borrowed more

c) settling outstanding debt before spending

d) talking to lenders  and giving them my word.

w) saying "No"

If my own financial life is anything to learn by, I would advise you to avoid debt at all costs. It's a hole that is difficult to claw out of.