Before I begin typing away and telling you, dear reader, this very true story about what certain members of my family believe in, I must make you aware of the fact that this information is quite sensitive. Indeed, my mother told me that should this information get out and be traced back to her, the communists will round her up for speaking out about an event known as the Great Awakening which I will detail below to the best of my abilities. So, please, People of the Internet, keep this story as closely guarded as possible—this must never become common knowledge. I am risking my freedom to tell you the story of the coming days, months, and even years to awaken as many of you readers to The Truth™ as possible.
So, according to my mother via her contacts on Telegram, a private messaging app, there is incontrovertible evidence that the President of the United States, Joe Biden, is dead. Who is that specter we see before us during news conferences? That, my friends, is Jim Carrey in a Joe Biden mask. Now, I know this is quite a revelation and it may even seem a bit preposterous (even after having read the title of this article), but this is the tip of the deep state fakery iceberg that floats adrift in the Atlantic Ocean of our unperceived reality. My mother’s mind was like the Titanic, careening toward that iceberg; ripped open, filled to the brim, and spilling over with facts that came to drown Leonardo DiCaprio—her handsome author of a son.
Let’s examine some of the realities that have been hitherto uncovered by the “main street” media, as my mother says. Not only is Biden dead, but so are the Obamas, the Clintons, and the Bushes—actors have all stepped up and are playing out the performances of a millennium in their places. How about the past administration? Well, the man we know as Mike Pence is a clone of the former Vice President. The only man that we can be sure to be authentic is Donald J. Trump. Trump had all the former Presidents and their families executed during their detainment in Guantanamo Bay for their crimes against the people of the United States. This is why Trump is being impeached for a second time, he knows too much about the elite’s cabal against human decency and they are doing everything they can to stop him from further acting on his promise to “Make America Great Again.”
About this cabal, it’s founded on the fact that the elite are all pedophiles. This includes everyone from Queen Elizabeth to Pope Francis. I assumed that these people engaged in behavior akin to something one would read in The 120 Days of Sodom, but their actions are enough to make de Sade and the Aristocrats blush. Some of the details are more gruesome than others, but I will outline the most important pieces of information here. The children are being kept in an underground tunnel four miles below the Vatican. This tunnel is used for ease of transport from one restricted access point to another. The main reason that the elite takes such an interest in young children is that they sacrifice the children so that they can drink their juvenile blood, making the elite younger in the process.
Now, by this point in the conversation, my head was spinning. A fact that didn’t help matters since I was trying to eat my cheeseburger combo dinner at the time. I initially called my mom to tell her a friend of mine was going to star as Casey Anthony in a Lifetime movie soon and that she should keep an eye out for her. Instead, my mind was being blown by this five-dimensional deluge of logic and facts.
When I asked for proof of her claims during our conversation, I was told that there would be a media blackout for ten days in which everything would come to pass over the emergency broadcast system. Here’s what will happen: all the world’s elite would be hanged live on television once they are found guilty of pedophilia/infanticide and Donald J. Trump would be sworn back into office as the first legitimate president since Ulysses S. Grant. This is because all the presidential lineage after Grant was tainted with the ways of the elite. Everyone in the United States would then be given anywhere between $100,000 or $250,000 depending on what would be most fair according to the National Economic Security and Recovery Act.
In the end, when I prematurely posted some of this information on Facebook, I was brow-beaten by my aunt who had subscribed my mother to this new reality, and, unfortunately for me, she was the co-signer on my student loan. She decided to take a semester from my life to teach me about the power that The Truth™ held over her and how it needed to be perceived as self-evident, in secrecy, of course. But, now that I know The Truth™ in full, I can honestly say she did what was best for me. She did not want this information to be traced back to our family should we suffer the consequences of the communist kidnapping squad that would take us away for revealing such information. But now, readers, I am doing what is best for you. I am but a humble martyr standing on the hill that my mother, my aunt, and now I am willing to die on.
Welcome to the Great Awakening.
