The way you speak to yourself, matters
the aforementioned quote from the reblog

The way you speak to yourself, matters

By Zatrig | Zatrig | 1 Nov 2020


Of course, it does. I ran into this quote on Tumblr and this is an issue that affects my life so much I just can’t leave it without commentary. 

Yesterday’s, then fresh, bad experience at work: I finished last and lost my scarf in the office. Even though I got a complex and big isle with versatile stuff to count and sort out (so it’s not that I cannot do the simplest task on Earth, because I am that dumb:), and tomorrow I’ll go with the auditing team too, so I can ask whether they found my scarf, this is distressing too.

Sitting on the bus, texting to my husband, to let him know, when will I arrive home or where am I, I even burst out: ‘I am fed up with ‘positive self-talk’, this is not ‘not perfect’ or ‘human’, this is a bunch of errors, an ape dressed to be a proper human!’. 
Sometimes I cannot play the statue of patience towards myself. Toward other people I am not quite punitive, I don’t engage in judging others, but my flaws can infuriate me some days. And then the reassuring banality ‘no one is perfect’ does not affect me, because I don’t aim to be perfect. I just want to be a human, not a dressed-up monkey*, how I feel myself at that very moment.

I cannot conclude any big wisdom talks to the end - unless that this positive self-talk stuff sometimes works, sometimes not. But of course, it matters - the talk itself too, and the emotional background that initiates the whole issue. The latter is more important than the talk itself. Only to tell someone to cultivate nice self-talk, is to tell a broken leg not to hurt. If you want to be validated, if not by someone else, then by yourself, if you don't find your peace and your resilience, then it clearly is just playing with words and finding false-sounding, prefabricated excuses for being 'imperfect'.

*or what comes to my mind too: there was a series of tales about a young girl who admires her older, young-adult peers and wants to be like them. Of course, the punchline is that she loses face in all the stories and it’s oh so funny. These were one of my mom’s faves when I was a kid, and I scratched the wall on their insensitive, lame humor. They had some funny stories and good characters in them tho and were quite well-written. It’s called Cilike, if anyone got curious, written by Anna Tutschek.

 



Zatrig
Zatrig

Work experiences, stories, arts, and more in one blog! I am Sorina, or as my nickname says, Zatrig. I live in Budapest, Hungary, now listening to Trio Mandili and getting my life together.

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