The void (good luck chatting with it*)
Shadow picture of a woman underwater.

The void (good luck chatting with it*)

By Zatrig | Zatrig | 22 Oct 2020

Have you ever experienced the void?
When you don’t see anything in front of yourself, and all you can ’do’ is to feel bad about yourself, because this is something like nihilism.
Are you lazy? Vacuous? Don’t you have any meaning in your life?
Of course, we have, and this is not laziness. But these forgiving sounds fade away when it comes to principal decisions, ones that affect the bare survival of one. Where to live? What to work? Even if you don’t let everyone medley in your decisions (family, random people on social media, etc.), this can be pretty confusing.

Yesterday I bumped into a commentary on some social platform that said „everyone can work, there are enough jobs, just you have to find them”. Of course, man – for a lame wage, in a crazy schedule, the poor environment there are a lot of jobs. If you hide your certificates successfully, you can attend one, and hooray, you became a slave. These are just excuses, didn’t you want to work?! Then here you are, now you can validate your life, that’s what it’s for, not the income. But that’s a bad leader’s conception. Of course, the worker works for their entire life. Home, family, civil activities, sport, art. Some of us accept voluntary slavery out of despair, but that is not ’the’ normal. Maybe it works and worked through history, but this does not mean that it is good.

As a TSO, even though it was a fine work environment, sometimes I’ve also experienced the „I am the boss, I do what I want” attitude by our – otherwise very well-trained and smart – leaders. Once I worked nine months from 4 in the morning because the personnel department had some policy that said everyone has to be in this shift every now and then. Because everyone, except five of six persons, hated this shift. This is neither daytime nor night. You have to wake up in the middle of the night, at 2 o’clock if you want to wait for the bus in full uniform. And what we hated the most in it: it wasn’t our choice. I went to overtime in this shift, and I loved every now and then, but every day that was overwhelming and once again, the worst: the inertness. I worked there for a total of five years. I liked, sometimes loved that job, but, mainly because of these small disrespectful acts, the burn-out came more and more frequently. Of course, no one was interested, ’they are neither a kindergarten nor a nursing home’, as I’ve overheard a corridor talk of some team leaders. They talked about other colleagues, not me, but it could be me.

This post wasn’t mean to be informative, rather just a reflection of a phenomenon that penetrates all our lives, principally if we live in cities or towns. In basic terms, a rant😊

*referring to one of my favourite comic strips, called Chats With The Void.


Work experiences, stories, arts, and more in one blog! I am Sorina, or as my nickname says, Zatrig. I live in Budapest, Hungary, now listening to Trio Mandili and getting my life together.

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