Time and time again, I'm always overcome by sin. My pain and happiness they always blend, my heart it always seems to bend but never break. The monkey on my back is my twin that I will never shake. I never met a mistake I didn't like or that I wouldn't make. What is a risk other than a joyful escape.
My cuzzo was on trial, and he ain't beat the case. We wrote letters, pleaded, prayed but it was all too late.
He finally made the wrong decision that he would have to pay for, at least he got leniency and for that we were grateful. I ain't never had to sit down for the judge but that don't mean I ain't been on trial. Unknowing of my own fate, regretful of my mistakes, unfamiliar with what it takes to make it in life and yet the universe has shown me such grace.
You see that's what's crazy about fate, we was always playmates. One time on the same path but we made different choices. I listened to the angels of our ancestors while he indulged the demonic voices. But I am not better, nor is he wrong. The truth is you only get so many chances, before you're triumphant or singing a sad song.
Have you ever wanted to die? Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? Have you ever wanted to be rich? Have you ever realized that wealth cannot buy you health? There are so many questions, these are just some that have plagued me. Not as many answers, and nothing to assuage thee. If you answered yes, then I feel sorry for you, because you must be of my kind. And I have always had to thrive within the insanity of my own mind. Or have I???
The gift you cant give back:
Whether... Opposite sex or same sex, bareback or latex... If you cant get pregnant do we need safe sex?
But then blocked calls and ignored text... Feelings of shame and recurring regrets... Is it yours? Is it his? How'd I contract a simplex?
Exhale... Then take a step back and have a deep breath, because at least you tried your best... To make yourself and others happy, but now when you look in the mirror you always have to ask "Is that me?"...
I'll fight hate with hate. If I hate you hard enough, I might start to love myself. If you didn't exist, everything else would be perfect. If y'all weren't around, then it'd all be worth it.
Hate Hate Hate.
You made a mistake I wont forgive. Your ancestors did this so I blame you for it. Oh now you associate with them? I hate you too.
You guys though, my people, I love y'all. Until you make me mad or sad, then like it's a fad I'll hate you too. I guess that's because I really hate myself, and until I accept that I'll just hate everyone else.