To the thousands of soldiers who died in all of our wars; I commend you...

You are the birds we see...

You sore high and can still smell the sunflower as the sun drenches this flower...

You are the lush green grass on the basin...

You are the constant barrage of waves in the ocean...

Tears of your loved ones make the sea salty...

You are not forgotten despite your physical body being gone....

I write this to my fallen comrades, many I have never had the pleasure of meeting. 

We served a common cause... to fight no matter what the outcome or how hard it maybe. 

Each battle fought was either a victory for us all or a defeat to us all.

At times it is needed to have those difficult conversations with those you love.

Tensions often times need to be resolved.

A private part of my life... my husband Shawn...

Today, his lack of communication about my health was more than I could bear.

I asked him, "Why is this so hard for you to communicate with me about my health."

He finally responded..... "It is incredibly hard to watch you go threw this and I can't prevent it. This is hurtful to me. It hurts he said."

In that very moment, I went back to when he lost his Dad. He walked threw the door and it was the whole world in his shoulders. I knew instantly something was wrong. 

I said to him on that difficult day, Baby what is wrong..... 

He whispered, "My dad is gone".

Abbey our middle child went outside after I tried pitifully to soothe Shawn pain... I was in the kitchen and heard her yell out in deep pain and agony as Shawn told her that her most favorite grandparent was gone.

Shawn, being the unbelievable Dad he is, picked Abbey up and held her as they mourned for Grandpa... I will never forget that. 

He is ready even if he doesn't talk.

I wanted to know what Abbey's feelings were.

She is reserved like her Dad but a witty smart mouth like me...

Her and Samantha are incredibly close. 

I asked her, Abbey what are you feelings and thoughts about my illness. 

"I don't understand how that VA doctor said you were healthy and that you would be fine."

"I know when people lie.... why did he lie?"

I said that I didn't know why... 

She a very articulate, female.....

I said what are your feelings?  She responded with, "confused, angry, sad and happy".

She spoke at length about some of her worries... 

She struck me with a very intriguing comment... "Would those VA people treat their Mom like they treated you? Or would they get mad also and try to change the way they do things?"

In all things the VA could take the advice of a 12 almost 13 year old....

Gone but not forgotten

Christina