Sleep:
A condition of body and mind such as that which typically recurs for several hours every night, in which the nervous system is relatively inactive, the eyes closed, the postural muscles relaxed, and consciousness practically suspended.
Paralysis:
The loss of muscle function in part of your body. It happens when something goes wrong with the way messages pass between your brain and muscles. Paralysis can be complete or partial. It can occur on one or both sides of your body. It can also occur in just one area, or it can be widespread.
Sleep Paralysis: a feeling of being unable to move, either at the onset of sleep or upon awakening. The individual's senses and awareness are intact, but they may feel as if there is pressure on them, or as if they are choking. It may be accompanied by hallucinations and intense fear.
Occasionally I come across interesting articles that trigger memories of certain parts of my life or feelings that all come flooding back to me. I'm sure everyone has had this at some point or another. That influx of such nostalgic energy that affects me so much it gives me physical symptoms.
I haven't thought about this for a while but randomly came across a few stories on Reddit and videos on Youtube that gave me chills when I thought about my own SP incidents. Having a job that for 75% of the time that I'm here, I'm alone, with just my headphones at night time in a dimly lit, hotel/resort environment. The Shining would be a sound comparison, being that he worked in a hotel with only his wife and son with him in a huge hotel...I'll use this as a mood setter.
There are no customers to talk with, my only work friends and co workers are seen in passing every so often. I hear noises above me on one of the many floors where others are working which only adds to the dramatic effect when I start having an onset of fear.
I say onset of fear like it happens a lot, like I'm a person that lives in a world that is pestered by scary thoughts or crippling phobia's, like I am a fearful person in general. Although this is far from the truth, I describe it as such because when people get scared, it's generally not a fleeting feeling but usually more of a progressive wave of energy that intensifies with thought over time the more you ponder something that scares you. Like the tension of a really good setup for a scare in a film. The tension is what I find scarier than the crescendo of the scare itself due to the fact that...not knowing something is more thrilling than knowing it all. The pursuit of knowing something is challenging and rewarding and when you find out what that thing is, you feel accomplished or, relieved, perhaps in finally knowing what it was you were expecting. Think about climbing a mountain: the harder it is, the more rewarding the payoff. This can be applied to many emotions, fear being one of them
Now, to clarify, among many other genres, I love horror stories, I love horror and thrillers in film and TV when they truly give you the creeps. I enjoy the feeling of fear because as an adult, I don't get to encounter this feeling that much anymore. Generally these days, a lot of 'horror' movies aren't really emotionally disturbing, or they focus on jump/surprise scares which are cheap and not a lot of thought or detail is required to truly terrify you. Just a few attributes based on human senses is enough for a jump scare to work. There's method behind it. Throw in a few key audio and visual cues and you could have someone jumping off their seat. When something really scares me, like goosebumps-on-my-arms and hair-standing-on-my-neck kinda scary, it's usually because I can relate to it somehow, or it aligns with my beliefs of certain paranormal stories and universal energy. 
Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon that has been recorded and reported since the dark ages.
In those early times, without the assistance of modern science, technology or EEG's (a device which detects electrical activity in your brain using small, metal discs (electrodes) attached to your scalp) it was considered to be of demonic possession or witchcraft if someone that had one of these cases spoke openly about it ad as such were treated as if they were connected to demons. Much like when when 'witches' would be burned at the stake for having visions of angels or demons which by all accounts, may have just been caused by of a nearby burning Arcasia tree, which we know nowadays contains certain entheogenic properties and can cause hallucinations. This example is highly speculative, but the notion for these kind of events called for extremely drastic measures in a time we can barely relate to now. A time where very little was know about brain behavior, subconscious experiences and sleep patterns.
Demonic and evil presences have always been linked to cases of sleep paralysis and one could see why in early times that these would be linked to possession and or witchcraft. The limited knowledge of an era where ideologies pertained directly to religious beliefs. It was thought that if you were unfortunate enough to go through one of these kind of negative, supernatural events, then you were obviously being controlled or visited by a demon or 'the devil'. It wasn't really until much more recently in history did priests start using exorcisms to 'drive out' these apparent demonic encounters.
In most cases of the modern era, people report cases of shadowy figures, old haggered women and children with blacked out eyes, demonic faces, presences behind doors that are slightly ajar, violent monsters pushing down on them, doors opening that were shut before, footsteps in a hallway outside the door...in all cases though one main attribute is always observed and that is...insidious intent.
Given these affirmations across the board, it is clear why in the past these events were considered demonic and or evil and had consequences like they did, as inhumane as it was. In my opinion, the feelings and visions that people have is a brain function making the subconscious form some kind of realism in their mind because of the fear that they have experienced before. Think about my line of the onset of fear earlier. When I remember something scary, this is my brain telling me that I am recalling something that makes me scared that I'm relating it to presently. A little different to if you are watching a movie. Listening to a story or reading an article lets your imagination run wild instead of having visual and audio cues to give you the feedback necessary to be scared. It is also easy for your brain to trick you into thinking that you saw something in the corner of your eye, or 'felt' something close to your neck which makes your hairs stand at attention. These feelings, are interpretations of thought by the brain being physically or mentally manifested into your woken experience. Stories of vampires and werewolves and evil doers could realistically be someone having an onset of fear and their brain telling them that what they think is scary is unfolding in front of them in a physical presence that they themselves find to be scary. All of this is just my opinion and in contrary to this, I would much prefer to believe that I am wrong, because if it is all brain waves and hallucination that are the cause of this...then the idea of real good and evil forces subside for favor of electrical brain waves.
Given that I am a person who loves pondering psychological idea's, universal energies, other worldly experiences, life and death, entheogenic drugs, near death experiences, reality and what's on the other side of our perception...I would like nothing more than to extend my belief that forces besides the ones that we can perceive with our human bodies, exist.
The next part of this article is a profound experience I had approximately 2 years ago. It was not the first time that it happened and it was also not the last. Instead, it was my second SP incident and unlike dreams, I remember it quite vividly to the point that it gives me chills to write it down....
My second case of SP
I was visiting my Uncle in Mittagong NSW one month in early 2018. The house belonged to an old Train master positioned 200m near the railway station parallel to the tracks. The property was fairly old, big, spacious and had been styled amazingly to fit the Victorian era that it was built in with a touch of Gothic era decor and linings. Well positioned gargoyles on the points of the roof with long and pointy spires and finials to shadow them. A dimly lit library with a lamp sitting on a table next to a single, rocking, recliner chair in the middle of the room, a record player in the corner and another lamp paired with a shade straight from the renaissance. Old statues reeking of Greek descent that my Uncle likes to hunt down being a collector of everything vintage and exquisite.
Being built much earlier than the train station itself, it had a lot of creaks and old school vibes making it creepy, but beautiful in it's own right. There was a slight lean in the room I was staying which prevented the cupboard from shutting properly.
At some point during the night, I couldn't determine if I had fallen asleep and started dreaming or if I had woken up from a dream, I would lay there for a small period of time just thinking about sleep, and the lack of it I was getting. Being in a new house and new bed left me uncomfortable and feeling like it's not mine, no matter how at home I felt.
For some reason I started to get a familiar but uncertain feeling. Like something that you know you have felt before but you aren't sure of what that is, and when you realize that you're thinking about something that you can't specify, that is also a recollection of something you vaguely remember...it compiles to the uncertainty which can elude to anxiety. An unsure sense of uneasiness that leaves the body feeling a little weighted and pressured.
I started to get the overwhelming sensation that my body was extremely still and even though I was 'awake' I wasn't tossing or turning to find that comfortable position. In that moment I became acutely aware of another feeling that was growing from inside. Something vaguely familiar that is hard to explain in words, but dramatically induces the effect even further. A compounding feeling of apprehension that was intensified by the fact that I also realized now that I was unable to move...yet my eyes were open and I was awake.
Before long, I started to become fearful. These attributes of uncertain nostalgia, my body unmoving, the room lit only by the small sliver of light passing through the gap between the curtain and the window frames and the weighed down feeling like the more I tried to move, the heavier I became. I guess this feeling could be compared to being strapped down on a table and having a reverse magnet effect applied to you on the table. Just the feeling of pressure on your entire body.
All this happened in the space of about 1 minute.
It is also in this moment that it started feeling like there was something in the room with me.
A negative presence in the same space I was occupying of malicious intent.
The feeling intensified at the thought. Compounding it's way to my inner cognitive workings that kept piling up, induced by the previous negative thought.
And the intensification increased.
When you get to this stage of sleep paralysis, the fear kicks in. Fear that you are helplessly awake but unconscious at the same time. Fear that this is abnormal. Fear that you may be here for a while. Fear that, in this moment, I was not in my bed in my house and everything around me, although dimly lit, looked straight out of Dracula's manor.
The onset of fear intensifies. It becomes so apparent that it's all you start to focus on and, just like that rabbit hole of wonder, it starts to get deeper and deeper the more you realize where you are. Where you are is a part of your brain that has manifested something that you fear so intensely, that you don't have the fight or flight response anymore. All you do is freeze.
The second minute passes.
I start to murmur. This seems like all you can do at this stage as making more noise than that was impossible in this circumstance. The murmuring somehow pertains to the insidious nature of the presence lurking in the room with me. Broadcasting my helplessness and inability to move freely; an easy target for demonic attacks.
It seems the more I struggle at this point, the more easily and negatively the force can pinpoint my position in space and enact it's will.
I try to flail, only to have pins and needles attack all points of my body.
The more I try to assert any kind of woken action, this feeling becomes stronger.
I look around and see the room grow in size while my bed decreases in size. Like the zoom up frame you see in Hitchcock films.
If you have had SP before it is in this moment that you realize what it is and that you have, in fact, had this before....and there is nothing you can do about it. Except remember that you can't do anything about it. It is fear compiling on fear, like a bad trip where everything seems to go wrong.
If you have not had SP before...all of this is overwhelming and only adds to the uncertainty of what is going on. Regardless of having had the experience before or not...it is terrifying.
I guess at this point minute 3 has passed...and to continue measuring minutes is pointless. It's very hard to tell and it never matters how long it's been as it always feels like much longer.
Each time I make a murmur there seems to be a pulse of dark energy eluding from the cupboard in my room that won't close properly.
My eyes float to the gap in the cupboard door.
As soon as I look through the dark ominous gap, something was readily staring back at me brimming with menacing intent. Just like when you have that feeling when someone is looking at you, even if they aren't. You just know something is there and amiss.
The feeling it gave me was terror and the more I looked the stronger the intent was. The longer I gazed, or rather the fact that I couldn't look away, seemed to make its force stronger. The stronger it's force became the more I tried to flail and murmur, leading to more fear. Again...fear compounding with fear.
The more I fed it's dark will, the more features began to materialize. Feint smokey, red eyes, opened and looked straight back at me. A dark and sinister figure, blacker than the darkest shadow shifted slightly inside the cupboard making it seem like the door opened incrementally. Enough for me to see an evil and joker-ish half smile gleam back at me. This smile had no emotion. It was just..there to await description.
I tried to call out to someone but still only able to muster constrained murmurs which apparently only I could hear. It was like the more I tried to make sound or get out of its spell, the more I was sucked in and the more fear washed over me.
The feeling became the most intense when the figure seemed to be sucked through the door and slowly start meniacally oozing towards me. It was made up of shadow, smoke and a somewhat humanoid shape although only the top half...no limbs. The kind of terror that I felt at this stage is nothing short of the feeling like you are being attacked by something you cannot defend yourself from. And it's something you have completely befallen victim to via fear as, it is not of this world.
My heart is racing, there's pins and needles all over my body, I can't scream or call for help, the hairs on my arms and neck are standing straight up and this...thing...is looking at me with glowing red eyes, smiling at me without teeth, moving slowly towards me as if it had a frame rate glitch, statically and unwavering in it's malicious intent.
It floats towards up to the edge of my bed and starts making sounds now. Like the low pitch, guttural growl that your stomach makes when you are hungry, or the low frequency sound you make when you make your voice go as deep as you can...like in the movie The Grudge.
My worst fear has always been to have the grudge demon girl attack me in my dreams the that eerie video tape audio going as well.
As it moves toward my feet it's 'face' starts to glitch sideways, making more internal, gut wrenching sounds. Looking at this thing now at the edge of my bed almost touching me has me hyperventilating and making murmurs that seem to make the monster happy to hear. My eyes darting around to look for something else to focus on but nothing good is catching my sight. I start to really think I am about to be possessed by something not of my world.
The sound and look of the omniscient shadow intensifies again as it opens it mouth at me and even more fear grips my entire body.
I am completely paralyzed by something I am perceiving to be real, caused by my brain.
This is what SP is. Literally whatever your brain perceives as your deepest fears and bringing to life in a lucid dream situation.
The demonic presence then disappears.
All I can hear now is myself gasping. All I can see now is the stretched out room in front of me and my legs and feet occupying the lower end of the bed. My eyes dart around the room, trying to make sense of what is happening, trying to find where the thing has gone.
I start to calm down at the loss of sight of the Grudge demon that was overwhelming me just seconds prior.
I still can't move.
Looking back up to the ceiling and away from my feet, there seems to be a patch of my eyes where it's foggy, like the silt you wake up with sometimes that's stuck in your eye lids.
As I try to see through the cloudiness of the corner of my vision, the same feelings come back. More intense than anything up to that point and on top of it all....dread. Similarly to when you try everything you can to make something not happen, but then have it happen anyway.
This...hateful dark energy that was so angrily trying to invade my thoughts and reality, materialized itself right to the corner of my vision, above me at the top end of my bed head, and with it's dark red eyes looking straight at mine from inches away let out a deafening roar that cut to the very core of me.
I could feel it in my bones.
I felt my toes curl up.
My body frozen once more in terror.
Not even murmurs were coming out of me now as the breath seemed to get sucked out of me by this unnatural force.
I could feel all the terror that every horror movie combined had ever made me feel.
I felt helpless beyond all doubt. It was inescapable. I continued to be drawn in to the creatures roar like the same zooming camera effect. The roar was non ending, growing in intensity and gave my whole body the feeling of impending doom.
With every ounce of my will power I tried desperately to make a move and break this cycle, and somehow, under the ferocity of the situation, something triggered and I somehow managed to wake myself up and sit up in my bed. Still dark and still looking exactly as I had just seen in my experience, yet I was awake. The only thing I can think of that caused the break of cycle is having such an extreme buildup of tension crescendo to a point where your body must wake. Like in Inception when the 'Kick' kicks.
I was unable to tell if what had happened was a dream because it didn't feel like I had woken up from a dream. But more so like I had just sat up in my bed. There was no feeling of force on me, no terrifying shadowy figures lurking, no feelings of apprehension. I was still breathing heavily and fearful of the encounter but, being sat up in my bed in a different perspective has me feeling like it was gone.
Yet....Every time I started to fall back to sleep after this, until morning light arrived, I would feel the presence lurking back into my reality. So it's safe to say I did not sleep well that night.
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After some research I have found that people refer to this presence as the Sleep Paralysis Entity. It can take many forms, as described in the previous sections of this article but they all share the common feelings of fear, dread, anxiety, apprehension and monstrous.
A really interesting documentary is found in my attached links that compiles a few terrifying stories from people that have had multiple cases of the bizarre phenomenon.
I have had SP 4 times now...this experience was not my most terrifying but it was one of the most vivid and easily to describe and therefor has made its way to my blog, as, although this was not in my intended line of articles to write, I really just aim to write about interesting things and to be above all else, as stated in my first, thought provoking.
I hope you have enjoyed this read, relate to it and take from it something that has made you think outside the box of reality a little.
Until next time,
Dream good.
