The world we live in is congested with beings, yet not so close as to be called humans. What does it take to be called human? Why do we have to live as humans?
I lived in a chaotic world were I only know. The needs, the wants and desires grew more and more each day. The hate and love seem to be on the same way.
The contentment I see in others seems to be more of a fake happiness ,they try to convince themselves that somehow they are satisfied with everything they got but their alter egos screaming for more.
They see me more of a monster than a human , they call themselves humans but tends to do more horrifying than a monster. I was always an outcast in the society, the eyes they set on me were cruel judgements I have to face each step that I take every single day.
They characterized me as someone unable to socialized, they never knew how much I tried but each time I do so, I get to realize how I should not trust anyone more and more. Like anyone else, all I ever wanted was to be accepted , be loved and be cared for. Yet this so called humans always push me to my edge. And so I always end up with knife stained with blood on my hand.
They see me as an egocentric person, a person only capable of seeing self's worth. They see me as a shameless impulsive creature. The lack of the capacity to love and trust. They have never ask me even once "why?". All the worthlessness they saw in me were mask of great sorrow. I am still able to love and trust, you idiots!, I love my family I love those close to me but I can't guarantee that I'll be able to love everybody.
The feeling of wanting to be loved and accepted by others only to fall down unfulfilled ,No matter how much intelligence I have , I quite doesn't seem to understand how hard it is for you all to get closer to me. You always have this reason that I have such a repellent personality. Like what the? Are you serious?
They say I have the most ironic personality , having high intelligence but poor in judgement and ability to learn from experiences. Why do I have to learn from them when all those times I was well aware of everything that happened and I enjoyed all of it.
You who boastfully call yourselves humans but are mere whited sepulchre ,you ignorant and hypocrites
You have always pointed your fingers at me and confidently call me monster instead of helping me out. It's so easy to see the dirt from others but so hard to see your own. Face yourselves in mirror and see whose the real monster.
Now if that what it takes to be called human, I'd rather be lonely and chase pavements in this dark and chaotic psycho's path.
All photos from pixabay.com
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