So there I was — sitting at my desk, job-hating, dream-chasing, and two hours deep into a YouTube rabbit hole titled “Make $1,000/Day with Crypto While You Sleep.”

The guy had a Lambo in the background, so obviously, I believed him.

Fast-forward a week later, I’d “diversified” into five passive income streams. I was basically the CEO of Bad Financial Decisions LLC.

First was staking. I locked up my ETH thinking I was being smart — long-term mindset and all. But no one tells you the real APY is just you sitting there, refreshing a dashboard and wondering why you can’t touch your own money until 2037.

Then came the yield farms. I threw some tokens into a pool that promised 800% APY. The next morning, the token had rugged so hard even Google couldn’t find it. I think the dev’s last message was “bye.”

Not one to learn a lesson, I got into NFT staking. Bought a pixelated goat for $200 because apparently it had “utility.” Staked it for a week, earned enough rewards to buy a chewing gum, and then the floor price disappeared faster than my will to keep going.

At this point, I wasn’t earning passive income — I was collecting passive regrets.

It wasn’t just about losing money. It was about the hope. Every time I hit “stake” or “connect wallet,” I felt like I was one step away from leaving the 9-5 grind forever. Instead, I was just trading stress for on-chain disappointment.

Moral of the story?

If your idea of passive income is obsessively checking Telegram groups, reading whitepapers you don’t understand, and refreshing price charts at 2AM — congrats, you’re in the club.

Crypto doesn’t hand out income. It hands out lessons — often expensive ones.

Would I do it again? Probably. But with snacks. And emotional support.