someone actually tried to argue satoshi nakamoto’s bitcoin counts as “lost property.”

not kidding.

an anon going by noah doe filed papers in a new york court claiming almost 4 million dormant btc, satoshi’s own stash included, should count as abandoned junk under some ancient lost-and-found law.

the genius part, they’re arguing each wallet only counts for about ten bucks so the case can skip the slow lane.

that’s over $200 billion getting treated like a shopping cart nobody came back for.

a total mystery figure calling himself john doe 33 pops up, insisting he’s a real human being and not some abandoned line of code 💀

dude is defending a bag he won’t even name.

meanwhile a chunk of those “abandoned” wallets already moved over $2 billion in btc, which kinda torches the whole nobody’s home theory.

ct is feral over this one and honestly same.

my bags can’t even buy me a coffee and this guy’s out here fighting for a quarter trillion with zero face reveal.

the full saga is unhinged, go give it a read.

healthy eating and brave new words is on my mind today! happy broccoli to yall