Hi Everyone!
Yesterday from where I ended off I guess I shall start there, as you now know I work the graveyard shift full-time so I keep my schedule all throughout the week even on day's I don't work. It keeps in a much healthier sleeping routine. So My day started off quite early the day before on 12/11/2022, and I hadn't gotten really any sleep. 
That night some sad news came in from the family. Like I said in my introduction, I'm always honest and straightforward. This is where I document my life and I never plan on hiding what happens. My Grandma Rosemary has been sick for a while. Lately her condition has progressed, faster than any of us saw happening. My Mother has been gone all year taking care of my Grandmother so I haven't gotten to see my Mother really all of 2022. It's been a very hard year over all. 
At the start of the year in January my Grandpa Rickey passed away, my Great Grandma Mel was put on hospice (she's still holding on) and my Grandma Rosemary (My Grandpa Rickey's Wife) was getting even worse in her personal condition. 
Last night we were informed that my Grandma Rosemary is back in the hospital, that hospice will soon step in and she doesn't have much longer until she slips into a coma and passes. 
My Grandma has always been my favorite person. Her and my Grandpa Rickey were the two people I could always count on to always support me and have my back. Their unconditional love is what got me through so much in life. Everyone always said my Grandma and I were the same person. We had the same personality. So as you can imagine hearing about the update in her condition really came as a big hit. I wasn't taking it too well. 
Life recently has been very stressful, overwhelming and depressing for me. I won't lie. I have troubles at work, over something I didn't even do. And now I'm just sitting at home waiting for a call about if and when I can return to my dream job that I love so much. I've lost so many people this year through death and sickness. From the very start of the year all the way now as we are ending off 2022. My health hasn't been great with my chronic illnesses. My own health has taken a real hit and my test results haven't been looking too great in terms of my multiple autoimmune diseases. Not to mention I have a very toxic family who won't help and is just sitting back waiting for everyone to die so they can collect their checks. It's disgusting and it breaks my heart because to me my family is everything. 
I've been having a hard time and last night I broke down. I had to call my Dad down at 3 o'clock in the morning to come sit and talk to me. Sometimes working graveyard can feel quite lonely. You don't really have anyone. I felt bad, but I was in a bad headspace and needed someone in that moment and I knew he'd understand and want to be there for me. 
After talking to my Dad we both agreed that what I needed in that moment was sleep. I was able to get myself to bed where I then slept until 7 o'clock in the morning. 
When I woke up I didn't want to be in the house. I really wanted to get out to get some air. I took a bit of a walk and had contacted my friends at work who I knew were off at 8 o'clock. They showed up for me like the true friends they are. We went and got coffee downtown, walked around, talked, laughed, made jokes and gossiped about all the BS that is life right now. 
We hit up the local hardware store, you might ask why? But they literally have everything!!! This isn't an ordinary hardware store. It's so unique! We had so much fun looking around, found some really cool things. I will going back today to go pick up some lights. 
We stood outside the bus stop waiting for my friend Frost's bus. Continued to talk and gibber jabber about all that is life. All that is going on and all the drama that just doesn't seem to end. My friends are great to vent to, amazing for advice and the perfect support system for me they always have my back. 
My friend Nick walked me home. He decided to stay a bit before he walked back to his house. We sat on the couch talking about our future. Plans on how we'd like to buy a house. Him, his boyfriend and I. I gave him tips on how he could build his credit because at the moment I'm the only one out of the three of us who has credit lol. We talked about grown up things like the housing market and such. It's weird being 23. But so much fun!
After he went home I fed the kitty and the two pugs were outside going potty after breakfast. So I sat down to do some work on the Amazon Program. Figured, hey, I'm trying to buy a house. I need to make more money, to save more money. Every penny counts my dude, get your booty to work! 
Texted with my long distance boyfriend while I did my work. He was telling me about his day playing soccer with his team and the upcoming competition he's entered in, in his area. I know he always plays his heart out and I love how he always follows his passions. 
After working I felt exhausted. As an introvert I only have so much energy, usually after friend time (which I adore) I'm usually pretty tired and just need to head to bed. So I took my medicine and went to bed. Hoping to actually stay asleep for a good amount of time. 
I woke up in the middle of sleeping because I heard someone in my room. Freaked me out! It was my Dad lol. I told him how I really wanted a Christmas tree. But he didn't want to get one this year since my Mom couldn't be here with us and the whole holiday season just doesn't feel the same right now. But he knew it meant a lot to me. He suggested a while back I get one in a pot because he knows I've been getting into taking care of plants like my Great Grandma Mel. He thought I would enjoy watching it grow and getting to bring it inside year after year as it got a little bit bigger. 
So when I woke up in the middle of the day to noise in my room, freaking out I was being kidnapped lol it was my Dad bringing in a potted Christmas tree for awe! He had brought it in and sat it in my room to surprise me when I woke up. I was a bit out of it so I quickly went back to bed not really thinking about it. 
When I woke up today at 7 o'clock PM finally having gotten some rest, my Dad said "Did you see your tree" and that's when I remembered. I went back into my room, turned on the light. I was so happy to see my little tree! It made me so happy that my father did that for me. It meant the world, it was such a sweet gesture and it was another light I needed that brightened these dark times I'm in. 
I may have a whole lot of things in life right now pulling me down. But I do have people in my life holding me up, hoping things work out and want nothing but good things for me. Always trying to be the light for me. I appreciate these people so much for sticking by me, loving me unconditionally and showing up for me when I need them the most. I've had so many toxic people walk all over me, use me and abuse me. Seeing this in my life right now is the good thing. I have true people in my life right now and to me that is priceless.
Please always remember to hold the people close in your life who you love and adore. Who bring you joy and happiness. Who are truly good people. Because at the end of the day they always have your back even when the world tries to rain on your parade. They will always be there standing in the rain with you waving their flags. 
When I woke up Dad had made me hamburger patty. As a celiac I can't have the bun don't make fun of me lol. So I had some food and wanted to immediately sit down and write out my day. It was a hard one, but I got through. It's all because of the amazing people who I have on my team. Thank you to my Father, my friends Frost & Nick who really showed up for me today. I love you all so much!! Oh! And thank you Tafida Athena my beautiful orange tabby, who knew when I was having my breakdown that I wasn't alright and came to give me snuggles. I'm so grateful for you all. 
Have a wonderful day everyone! Happy Holidays!!

- Salem