Hi Everyone,

If you read my last post you are aware that my Grandmother whom I've been caring for, for the past four months has passed away. She passed on the 25th of March. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions since. But I'm trying to find a routine and some sense of normal again.
It looks like I will remain in California for at least another three weeks to help my parents sort out the remainder of Grandma's affairs before the executor of my Grandmother's estate handles the will portion of her wishes. 
I'm looking forward to being back at home, I think once I'm back at home, finding a routine will be a lot easier for me. As for now, being in Grandma's house without her, it's hard to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my time anymore. Though it's difficult I'm still trying. Because I know having a routine is not only important for life in general but for the grieving process overall. 
Yesterday I woke up, I got my energy drink and nicotine as always. It's how my brain says good morning. Then I fed all the animals. My Grandmother had three dogs and a kitty. Grandma wanted us to 100% for sure take her dog Daisy Mae and her cat Willow. But she didn't include the animals in her will. Due to that the executor of her estate has to be fair and offer each of her animals to everyone. So we are hoping that this doesn't lead to more drama and Grandma's wishes are honored and we will take the animals that Grandma wished for us to care for home with us. 
To my surprise right after I fed the dogs and came back into my bedroom I had the urge to just get right to work. So I logged onto Amazon Mechanical Turk and did some work for MTurk for about an hour. 
Unemployment has still yet to assign me a judge for my appeal, so I have yet to have any sort of income. So right now I work on two programs. Amazon MTurk and Slice the Pie. Both I highly recommend if anyone's interested in earning some extra money from home. 
I'm trying to get myself back into a working routine. While taking care of Grandma I didn't have much time to do any of my work. I keep a spreadsheet of all of my work earnings and it wasn't adding up to much because I simply didn't have the time to put into my work like I used to. I now have the time, I just struggle with having the energy as I'm grieving to get things done. So I take things slow, I'm being easy on myself as I find my way back into things to help get my life back on track. 
Our family friend stopped by and I spent some time with my parents and him in the living space. We were talking about Grandma, telling stories along with working out how we were going to figure everything out as he's the executor of Grandma's estate. 
After he left I felt burnt out from socializing. I find these days my social batteries are even shorter than before. So I went back in my room, I listened to some music, watched some Youtube and did some writing in my journal. My journal has been a huge coping mechanism for me my whole life and has really been my crutch through all of this. It's one reason why I'd like to start my daily writing again here on Publish0x. 
I got hungry so I went back into the kitchen, my Dad offered to cook for me and my Mamma. He made us steaks. They were delicious! My Grandma's three legged German Shepperd was sitting in front of my drooling waiting for a piece lol. Don't worry all the dogs were given a piece of steak. 
By that time I had felt so exhausted. Lately I'm simply tired. Emotionally and physically burnt out. So I slept. I slept for about three and a half hours before waking up again. 
When I woke up I did my PTC work for Cointiply, made some gluten free chicken nuggets to snack on while I sat on the couch and watched some TV with my parents. I ended up breaking down though, I cried for a good 30 minutes. My parents comforted me and we told funny stories about Grandma to make ourselves smile. Mamma is really struggling with this right now as well. Just talking about it was upsetting her. But she still comforted me when I needed her. 
I wanted to go to bed early, I still felt exhausted and my body has physically been hurting me. I just took my injection for my autoimmune diseases and I'm dealing with a lot of pain. But I couldn't sleep all night. I wound up waking up at 3:30 AM. Luckily I like being up that early. It's peaceful. 
It's now about 7AM where I am in the world and my day is just about to really get started and I'm aware that today is going to be a very busy and hectic day. So I better prepare myself. Hopefully I will have it in me tomorrow to write back again to tell you all about it <3 
Thank you all for supporting me, for reading my daily life. It means a lot to me. I appreciate you all so much! 
Any advice I have for you today is to take it easy on yourself, take things one step at a time. Know no one is perfect and you're doing your best. You will get better in time. But the point is you must grant yourself that time. 
My comments are always open, please reach out if you ever need anything <3 Sending hugs to you all. 

Love, 
Salem Koya