If you are old enough you know that you can not avoid transition. Our whole life even without major changes, is a transitioning from one phase to another. Some transitions are common for every human being, like the physical growth process we all go through, then some of us transition from singleness to married status, some from married to divorced or widowhood. Most of the married couples will transition to parenthood and grandparenthood. Some will go through that transition through the adopting process. 

I have heard that 4 are the most difficult transitions in someone's life

Moving geographically

Loosing a spouse

Loosing a child

Loosing your job

The first one, even though it can be excited at times especially when you relocate to a better situation, still is difficult. You leave behind parts of your lives, childhood, important relationships, that will stay with you forever. Depending on when that relocation happens the experience can vary. There are several phases that you go through: tourist phase is when you enter a new culture or location. Usually this part is characterized by the joy of finding the new opportunities and the positive sides of the place. Some would like to call it the honey moon.

Then, the curb starts to low down as reality and the challenges of the new place hit you. Things are different and you have to cope and relearn new ways of thinking and living. This is a phase when you get aggravated and frustrated by what is different. Criticism takes place and can become very harmful if you do not pay attention to it and deal with it in a healthy way. Thus talking through the differences and changes with a trusted friend, can be very helpful to keep the right perspective. We can either resist change and get stuck forever in this phase or embrace a learning attitude and come out from it gradually. You can experience culture shock even when being relocated in your own country you can experience culture shock, as there are subcultures and each city or area has their own history and subculture. It is very helpful to ask why and understand the why behind certain behaviors or mentalities that you find aggravating to you.

The next phase is adjustment. That is a great phase as you start enjoying back your new life and the new opportunities. You have grown and mature and do not feel anymore like a stranger. Now you do not feel lost or pretending to laugh at jokes you don't understand. Now you feel and act as a local. And that feels so good. 

Here is my advice, if you move to another country, try as much as you can to learn the language, even though you might work in an international office where main language might be English or French or Spanish. Yet our life does not evolve all around work. We live in a community. It is great when you go to the grocery shop and you can communicate!! Or you drive, or take the metro, or tram or even take a walk into the city and those bill boards and shops names, signs, discount announcement etc. makes sense. Or the joy of going to the market and not coming around for an hour to find an item, because all labels are in their native language and nobody in the store speaks English. Believe me that has happened to me. And I have many other funny stories from not speaking the language. 

If you are a family with children, even though your children might go to an international school, do them a favor and give them the best gift: the ability to make local friends. They are some of the best friends and the best bridge to the new culture. They will be deprived of that gift, if they do not learn the local language and try to live the culture. 

What about you, have you ever gone through a relocation transition? If so, what did you find helpful or not helpful? What would you suggest to someone who is going through relocation?