So the prodigal child is throwing a temper tantrum. He's playing the victim, we are trying to make him fail. I'm not sorry child. You've done that all on your own. I just got tired of enabling you. WE gave you a car when you got your license, YOU destroyed it. Your argument is that it was used and "shitty" It was FREE!!!! It had decent tires, ran good. the clutch was good, you just needed to do a little work to it. But that was to HARD for little old you. So YOU decided to drive it out of state, YOU decided to not take care of your FREE car. What did you want? A brand new car with a pretty bow? YOU broke the car. Not us. We didn't decided to make that trip, we didn't decide to not take car of YOUR car. YOU did. I fought for you NOT to be able to drive our other car. I KNEW you would take advantage. I KNEW you wouldn't hold up your end of the deal. And that's exactly what you did. Then you bought yourself a car. Wasn't to bad. Used, decent body. and YOU blew the engine in that one. So that is car number 2 you destroyed. Seeing a pattern yet? In the 5 months since you moved out you have destroyed 3 cars. That's all on you.

You moved out. You are not our responsibility anymore. We will help when WE can. Not when you want. We have adult things to take care of. SO after you blew up that car. Again, I fought for you NOT to get our other car again. AGAIN I knew you would destroy it. YOU DID!! The clutch is all but gone, the car only stops because it still have the thin piece of metal the brake is glued to stop it. It has no shocks or struts. You blew them out. The steering is dangerous. YOU did that. YOU. The car wasn't the best, but it was something. And like everything else YOU DESTROYED IT. You took the car before it was legal. You put our livelihood in danger by doing that. You quit your job, you are bouncing from place to place. YOU got drunk and got picked up by the cops. YOU. YOU knew that if you didn't pay what you agreed to pay, you would lose the car. So easily you forget that I told you, you don't pay. The car comes back. Your actions hurt us. WE have our own bills, WE still have kids at home. WE still have a responsibility to them. YOU are NOT entitled to take opportunities from them because you want to fuck up. Because you want us to take care of you.

The only thing that car is good for now is a few bucks from the junkyard. YOU did all that. We gave you a roof, decent school, taught you to drive, drove you to work, was there when you needed a shoulder, got in trouble for letting you drive the Geo in the yard so you could get use to driving stick, let your friend move in with us. Gave you opportunity to follow whatever path you chose. But that wasn't good enough. YOU decided to bring drugs into my house. YOU decided to put the ones you supposedly love in danger. But the path your on, WE do NOT have to follow you down. And we won't. We gave you as much as we can. And we will give no more. Our life does not revolve around you. So you can run to all the people that will validate your victim hood. Have fun. Hang out with the people who you would laugh at for being losers, by all means. Enjoy. Watch your true friends leave you, watch the people that you could count on not be open to you. Watch family not invite you to birthdays or Christmas. Don't get me wrong. We still love you. You are my son. You are mine. You are loved by all of us. But love doesn't mean that we allow you to take advantage, hurt or belittle us. Real love. What you just got a dose of, everyone has dealt with. Your not the only one. But your selfish attitude will be the thing holding you back. You think you got the short end of the stick. That we are such assholes. Maybe look at the people you supposedly love. Your Aunt. She wasn't given a car, her parents couldn't teach her to drive. She didn't get the opportunities that you did. Her dad was sick most of her life. She has every reason to feel like the world is against her. And she DOESN'T!! She took the help that was offered and got her license. Then, all on her own. BOUGHT her own car. NO ONE gave her a car. NO ONE payed for her car. SHE DID IT! SO your aunt, who had true hardship in her life DID it. Whats your excuse? Oh, wait. You don't have one. Other then you took everything you were giving and shit on it. Then blamed everyone else.

I do not fell bad about taking the car back. I feel much better. I am angry. I am angry that everything you worked for, everything you said you wanted to be. YOU failed at. YOU fucked up. You can keep telling yourself that its everyone else. But all you have shown is that your word means nothing, you can not be counted on or trusted. You are not who you pretend to be.

I am angry and hurt. I will not feel this way forever. You have to make your choices and mistakes. YOU have to live with them. You and you alone. Your on your own, kinda. Mooching off others isn't being on your own. So prove to yourself that you can do it with no help. Prove to YOU that your an adult and can make decisions to better your situation. Learn to swallow your pride and admit mistakes and do better. The only person you have anything to prove it to, is yourself.

I love you, you are my son. And this is the part of the parent/child relationship that sucks. As a parent, truly letting go. As a child the reality that you are no longer under the protection of home. Home will always be here. But it will be different. You won't have your old spot, it won't be the same. You will be a guest, a visitor until you can go about your life. The hardest and the most honest thing you will ever do in your life is admit to yourself you failed. It doesn't mean your weak or stupid. It means your human, your not perfect. And just because it sounds good in theory doesn't mean it works in reality.

*Also published on my personal blogging page and my blog page facebook.