Today is a sad day for me. 

15 years ago today my Dad passed away. 

This also would have been the day my Mamaw(grandma) would have turned 94. She passed away in 2021 3 weeks before my brother passed.

In 13 months my Mamaw, my brother and my Mom have passed away. Mom has been gone 2 months and 18 days. I still cry when I think about it all. At some point I need to stop crying. I blame being so emotional on the stroke I had in early 2020. 

Just trying to live my life how I would if she were still here. It seems harder than it should be. I do better when I stay busy. That keeps my mind occupied and not thinking about the loss. Not sure if I'm more feeling sorry for myself OR if I'm more sad about the loss. Mom had 3 cancers and at some point she was going to pass. The last few days at home were rough. The 9 days in the hospital were rough. Writing this out is rough. Not sure why I do this to myself. It doesn't prove anything to anyone. 

Back to my father. I do miss him. Being alone all the time gives me plenty of time to think. Thinking is when I do get emotional. Therefore, I do stay more busy. Like later today I will do a sponsored stream for Torchlight Infinite. It keeps me busy and not thinking. 

This has been a bit everywhere.

Today is a sad day for me.