I am by definition a person who is kind, polite and considerate - or at least I try to be. Maybe it is that quintessential Englishness that I have about me. Don't get me wrong, I can and do get irritated with things when they don't work and my annoyance does find its expression. Likewise I can be indignant when encountering other people's behaviour in situations that I consider to be a "non-brainer". Indignation by definition goes hand in hand with being right, but being right and behaving right are too different matters and occasionally I am not right in my indignation as I have misread the situation.

Let me give in microcosm the kind of person I am. Where I live there is a limited culture of respecting pedestrians crossing a zebra crossing, although it has vastly improved over recent years. Where I was brought up the driving culture was such that a driver would automatically slow down and be ready to stop when approaching such a crossing and especially when pedestrians are nearby - even if at that point they are showing no interest in crossing. It is an attitude of being ready. Not so here. By nature I always have to respond when encountering a driver on a crossing. If he follows the rules he gets a wave and a smile - but with my need to express my thoughts - that driver who does not stop accordingly also gets a gesture!

For example a few weeks ago I was going to cross the road near a junction and a car came straight out when i was mid crossing because he was too busy looking the other way to see if it was safe. Maybe the crossing shouldn't be so close to the junction, but the fact is that it is and the point is this the driver should pull out slowly in anticipation. I was in full view with no obstacles to his view and what made my blood boil is that i was with my four and a half year old.

This often is the crux of the matter. I am the first to caution against jumping out in front of a vehicle that has little or no chance of stopping but responsibility for following the rules lies with everybody and the fact is Mr Driver the next time it might be a child on their own chasing a ball into the street. The attitude of being ready has to be the way. Just while I am at it, if there are two lanes going in the same direction and a car has stopped in one of the lanes at a zebra crossing, he has stopped for a reason so if you are in the other lane don't just go steaming through. 

Read the road.

Anyhow I have digressed a bit too far in what should have been a simple example of my need to respond either positively or negatively.

As I trawled the internet yesterday I came across a number of "hacks" which all make sense concerning kindness, but also make you nobody's fool. So here they are just to give you some food for thought.

• Don’t call someone more than twice in a row. If they don’t answer, they probably have something important to do.

• Pay back money you borrowed before the person asks for it. This shows that you are responsible. The same goes for borrowed items like umbrellas and pens.

• Don’t order the most expensive food when someone else is treating you to a meal.

• Don’t ask personal questions like “Why aren’t you married yet?” or “Why don’t you have kids?” It’s not your business.

• Always hold the door open for the person behind you, whether they are male or female, older or younger. Treating people well does not make you less important.

• If you share a taxi with a friend and they pay, offer to pay next time.

• Respect different opinions. What seems like a 6 to you might look like a 9 to someone else. Getting a second opinion is also good.

• Don’t interrupt when someone is talking. Let them finish what they want to say.

• If you tease someone and they don’t like it, stop immediately and don’t do it again. It shows you care about them.

• Always say “thank you” when someone helps you.

• Give compliments in public but address problems privately.

• Don’t comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look great.” If they want to discuss weight loss, they will bring it up.

• When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe through their pictures. You might accidentally see something private.

• If a coworker says they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask why. Just say, "I hope you’re okay." Respect their privacy.

• Treat everyone with respect, whether they are a cleaner or a CEO. People notice how you treat others.

• If someone is talking to you, don’t stare at your phone. It’s rude.

• Only give advice when someone asks for it.

• When you see someone after a long time, don’t ask how old they are or how much money they make unless they want to talk about it.

• Stay out of other people’s business unless it directly involves you.

• Take off your sunglasses when talking to someone on the street. It shows respect. Making eye contact is important.

• Don’t brag about your wealth when you are with people who are less fortunate. Also, avoid discussing your children around those who cannot have kids.

• After receiving a nice message, say "Thanks for the message." Showing appreciation is an easy way to get what you want!

As always stay safe and wlll my friends