It was Euro 96 and I was in Rreshen, Albania, and on this particular night we had all gone to a bar / restaurant to watch what is now considered to be a famous England victory. I am of course talking about the match against The Netherlands, which we won 4-1.
For a few years there had been a bit of bad blood between the two nations when it came to football. They had humiliated us on the way to winning Euro 88 and we failed to qualify for the 1994 World Cup thanks to some questionable refereeing decisions against The Netherlands in a match that finished 2-2. Within that match Ronald Koeman, had brought down David Platt in what was a clear cut penalty. Whatever the result of such a penalty is largely theoretical, simply because it was not given, but what hurt was that literally a minute later Ronald Koeman, who should have been sent off, scored from a free kick.
He should not even have been on the pitch.
Anyway context aside, while I was with friends on one side of me there was an Albanian guy who was always intimidating me whenever I saw him in town. He was muscular, strong and menacing and I always felt threatened in his presence.
Sure enough the match started and he started hitting me on the arm. For him I think it was playful, but it was hurting and irritating. I repeatedly asked him to stop but he carried on. So, I asked a waitress if she could move him, but given the chauvinistic ways of Albania back then she probably felt like she didn’t have a voice. I then asked the (male) owner who also did nothing.
It was disturbing my enjoyment of the match. Then just as we were approaching half time I'd had enough and you've seen enough of my posts to recognise that it is a bad thing to do to cross my red lines.
So, I unleashed my “ninja move” on him.
When I was growing up my old man had taught me about pressure points and there is a surprising one under the fingernails. If they are simultaneously pushed in and upwards at the same time the pain is excruciating.
In a flash, I had his little finger (I could easily have missed – hence my ninja comment) and positioned just a single thumb onto to apply pressure. He yelped in pain and I pressed harder and brought a finger round so he could not pull away. I then twisted his finger about 90 degrees and he went to the floor.
By now he was pleading for me to stop and I said “No. I asked you many times and you didn’t so why should I.”
I kept him on the floor for almost the entirety of half time – about 15 minutes - and every time I felt him move I simply pressed harder and added a further twist. By now he was begging me to stop and I refused.
Then just as the teams were coming back out for the second half, I lent down into his face, while still keeping a firm grip on his finger and told him that I was going to release him in a minute and that he needed to go and sit elsewhere and never bother me again.
To emphasise my point, I gave his finger one last, and much harsher twist and squeeze before releasing him. He the duly went to sit elsewhere and from that day forward, even in the street he never bothered me again.
Give my speed and accuracy I am sure he thought I was some kind of a ninja not to be trifled with.
Problem solved!
As always stay safe and well my friends.
