I was always wondering why do we aquire conscience of things lately?!!, after the time slips away behind us. My studies at the university were interesting and I began used to everything, lessons, friends, though I had only few ones, professors and the language itself became more or less understood, I loved my years at the university, I was very happy with my friend, the lonely close one, we graduated from a the second year and get the certificate, but of course we continued at the University, because we had a dream to take the high level and graduate with the licence certification, however, not all we wish, we grap it, we failed again in the third year, my friend abandoned the university, I was really sad, this time not only for my failure but because all my friends left to begin in another field or whatever.
As for me, I had no choice just to repeat the year, and so I did but for three years without vain. At last, I abandoned me too after being sick of everything and nothing. I decided to study other things, and I chose computer and secretary stuff, I wasn't sure of what i am doing, it was just an escape from my consecutive failures, but the most beautiful thing among all these, I was the vedette of the class, because I was good in French language since all my studies were in French, and finally I got my diploma and was recommended by my school to a big firm where I began working as a trainer.
It was a great opportunity to learn more things, to improve my experience and to be paid for the first time in my life. I was delighted at the epoch, I thought that maybe the destiny would smile on my face, after two months of training, between typing, translating and filing, I was told that I finished my professional probation and had to leave, they paid me a sum inferior to what I was told and got out of the company happy yes, but afraid again not to find a good job especially that I was always dreaming to work and help my family.
After my paycheck, I bought some gifts for my family and took a rest from everything. A year passed after my first training, I searched everywhere and by all means to find a new job, through newspapers, passing exams, interviews with no results, I was not really aware that it would be so hard and complicated, that's why I said always that I am a great naïve, I was living in a bubble by myself, anyway, life is not easy, that's what my deceased father was always telling me, through looking here and there for a job, one of my cousins heard me and she told me to go to her office where she was working, I was accepted for another training, and I began my job as a secretary, doing everything even organizing the schedule of tests for some candidates to get a job in the bank where I am just a trainer, see the irony of the life or maybe the destiny, I don't know even what to say, was it really difficult for my cousin to give me a push just to register my name among the other condidates to set for the interview?. Sometimes, life seems not fair in our eyes, I won't go on describing my month at that training, I took my certificate and leave for unkown future once again . Years spent in tears and regrets, others were spent in sickness, I fell sick seriously and even grazing death literally.
I had a pneumonia, i was feeling so badly, I couldn't neither sleep nor eat, the pain was unbearable, my body was too weak to held such an immeasurable sufferings, until one night, I was between sleep and wake up, my mother was sleeping beside my bed, I felt that my heart was giving up, my whole body became so still, I remember that I was moaning a little bit to give a sign to mum, she indeed woke up, but was upset, couldn't do anything, she ran to wake up my father, while I was dying, yes, literally, I was leaving this world, I can't explain exactly the moment, I felt good and serein, no more pain as if I was never sick, I felt like I was flying and some creatures were elevating me in the sky, but I heard from far away that mum was crying and my father trying to get me back, it was a very special moment, surely hard for my family, but for me it was a miraculous thing, till now still can't forget. Many years ago passed, and still can't explain that moment, which of course changed my life radically. I changed my mind, my attitudes, my goals and my habits, I became a new person with a new conception of life and death of course.
If there is anything that I learned from my experience, it's that death is very near to us and turns around us each day and each moment, we should be aware of it and must act as if we are going to die the next day or the next moment, we should watch up our actions, our own footsteps and our words. We have also to revise our relationship with God and what we have done to merit paradise, because paradise is not easy to enter, we have to make goodness through our journey in this earth.
Years passed, some were spent in searching for a job, others were spent in reading, the only passion I got , by the way, I had never stopped reading since I left the university, it became my favorite magic world where I was dreaming and travelling to different places freely and without barriers, learning from humans' experiences and diving in different civilizations.
We moved to another house, in fact, it was a three floor apartments, because l have a big family, I was happy to change my place in the suburbs where I was living, for it was far from downtown and no entertainments there, our new residence was big and beautiful, more friends, more neighbors, I became a sociable person as a result, and a mature girl in fact.
It was the beginning of a real change, a beam of optimism, that's what we call a glimmer of light seen at the end of the tunnel. I decided to live happily whatever it takes, do good, feel free and alive, and especially be grateful to have a second chance to correct my mistakes, believe in myself despite the critics, and strive until achieving my goals.
My blissful experience is so true, I have never spoken about this to anyone except my family, but I think it high time to share my little miracle if I daresay, so that people become aware of their existence before their death, and realize their priorities, love their own dears, fill their roles and take into consideration that our doings must please our creator first before pleasing oneself or the others, that we should not run blindly after our desires, that we have to look at the mirror from time to time to question ourselves, to strenghten our faith and hope so as to live peacefully without hurting anyone intentionally or unintentionally.
Life is too short to waste it in regrets or tears , take it as it comes with its grief before its joy, with difficulties before its easiness, deal with its haters before its lovers, be content with the little, because when you are satisfied with what you own, you will live happily .
