Some time ago, I heard an alarm clock ring at 6:45 a.m. That was quite unusual. The tintinnabulating conflagration was not my own. It was meant to rouse a friend who was staying with me for a while. I supposed he had great plans for the day, to get out there and beat the bushes into submission to his pecuniary plotting. But, when I finally got up myself, there he was, sitting on the couch, just staring into never-never land.
I asked him, “Why am I seeing you sitting there? At first, I thought it must be a burglar, taking a break from looting the joint. I thought you were s’pose’ to be on your way out at 6:45 this morning.”
He said, “Yeah, I got up, but I was stricken, weary. I pushed myself right back down into the covers.”
“Oh, so I have a Jack-in-the-box living with me, huh?”
He then went into a woe-is-me, self-condemnation routine that I would have no part with. I gave him a much-abbreviated version of the usual CCJ (criticism-condemnation-judgment) and self-condemnation lectures.
Then Dr. Lloyd declared his prescription for the patient. “You need to give yourself a day off each week. Bearing the burden of production with nary a letup makes Jack a beaten down hack with a one-track mind. Fluff your wings. Take your mind completely off of your cares. Read a short story or three, and get into the life experience of others. Share in experiences that you would otherwise not have an iota of possibility to live through yourself in this embodiment. Short stories let you learn useful lessons without having to go through all the work yourself; like, yet one more mistake you can make to get yourself killed; or umpteen examples of I Ching archetypes in action. Everybody knows short stories are harder to write than novels because they must focus the lessons and experiences down to fiery extracts like a lens gathering all the sun has to offer into a pinpoint that bursts aflame. A short story’s burst can ignite your perspicacious soul agog with illumination.”
So, I left him there to mull on the couch. And, naturally, I listened to what I just said, since what comes out of your mouth is meant as much, or more, for you than for the phantom audience. I realized why Morya is so beside himself against self-condemnation as to take on the vibes of a wrathful deity. Just throwing energy at phantom “other” is plenty bad enough. But self-condemnation is a more detrimental sort of blunder. It is not mere energy waste; since the “other” who is involved is your own mirror—so up-close and personal.
Ultimately, it’s really God you are condemning. That’s taking on a tough customer. Guess who’s gonna lose that battle. Yes, self/God condemnation is essentially the sin against the Holy Spirit that cannot be forgiven; not until it is forsaken. While you continue to throw darts at phantoms, you’re so far beyond Reality’s pale that God’s too-pure eye cannot even detect a “you” to forgive. A bloke sinning against the Holy Spirit is out of the reach of the One’s Real Community: the One’s “come ye into unity.” An agent with the power to forgive, i.e., in resonance with infinite mystery, simply cannot get a handle on something that is merely apparent and ultimately empty. Phantom agents of the fallen estate may wish to help, but they have no Real Power to bless. Face it: in the fallen estate’s God denial den, glomming onto your misplaced attention insulates you from divine resonance.
Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev alludes to the hopelessness of this state of unconsciousness:
“Initially, I thought everyone knew everything. I was the only one who didn’t know anything. But, then I realized, they are comfortable with their ignorance. I know the pain of ignorance. That’s what all the difference was. The pain of ignorance was tearing me apart. It wouldn’t let me sleep. It wouldn’t let me do anything. I just wanted to explore every possible dimension. But, others seemed to be comfortable with it. Initially, I thought they know, when I don’t know. But, later on, as time progressed, I realized that they also do not know, but they also seem to be okay with it, somehow. So, this is the thing with people: the moment you come to terms with your ignorance, you’re a lost case, in my opinion. You should not come to terms with your ignorance. It’s not a deal. You don’t make a deal with your ignorance. You have to always see that you can’t live with this.”[1]
Only the One IS. Hence, all resonant outreach is the re-sonance, the re-sounding of the Word that resounds infinite mystery in the Beginning of every fractally nested level of the One’s cycling. That’s why master Godfre described eternity as the One flowing as the dawn. Wherever attention may be focusing within a cycle, it is always fractally one with the beginnings of sub- and super-cycles. Condemning oneSelf/God, divorces you from divinity’s infinite, eternally NOW resonance. In that ignorant state, the cascading elements of cycling soul become untouchable. All that is left for them to quibble with time about is their flaking away like dandruff. Soul shrivels.
It seems to me that Morya is so concerned about self-condemnation because elements of soul that are lost to its sin against the Holy Spirit are not recoverable. That’s because every moment of consciousness is unique. That is, the infinite, elemental, deific configurations of possibility conjured into each moment never recur. So, throwing a moment away by denying your root, in and as the One, is like asking Estee Lauder’s dweller on the threshold to apply to your countenance a cream that confers the hag’s complexion upon your flailing failings. Ignoring One’s Presence in antahkarana instills woe in faceted soul.
Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who resembles Baba Yaga[2] least of all? Your Real mirror replies, “I AM THAT I AM.”
[1] Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev, Inner Engineering – A Yogi’s Guide to Joy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05PXYKegFuc
[2] Baba Yaga is a supernatural being in Slavic folklore, who is often depicted as an ugly, life-sucking witch.
