Is Reaching Out the Best Solution?

We're constantly fed the same message about communicating our feelings. We're told that people can't read our minds and if we're struggling and need help,  we need to let them know.

But should we? 

Because we're also fed messages about taking care of ourselves first and learning to say "no" to others when we don't have the time or energy to spare for them. 

But if I need to be focusing on taking care of myself, then why am I asking for care from someone who also needs to be taking care of themselves? 

The truth is that we're all in one way or another struggling - we're all stressed, tired, anxious, and, most of the time, lonely and empty. Reaching out for help from someone who's going through all the same struggles (if not more) doesn't accomplish anything other than draining the energy of someone who needs all the energy they can get and doesn't have much more to spare.

More importantly, depending on others to 'fix us' is a mistake. No one can fix us. We need to take care of ourselves and they need to take care of themselves.

If we depend on others to put us back together, we'll always end up broken in the end. Others can offer bandaids, but what we need is new tissue.

Having others to help (especially when they can spare the time and energy) is nice. But relying on it or expecting it or being upset at not receiving it is unfair to them and unfair to our own ability to take care of and love ourselves. 

How do you rate this article?


Personal Rants
Personal Rants

Personal and likely relatable.

Send a $0.01 microtip in crypto to the author, and earn yourself as you read!

20% to author / 80% to me.
We pay the tips from our rewards pool.