Hello,
I am currently in a hotel on I-35, in the high-density traffic corridor between Austin and San Antonio, and am considering my options. Which is a worldly way of saying I'm waiting to see where God's finger points.
Thank you for your prayers; I had no trouble crossing the border, and none of the narco checkpoints in Mexico were given permission to fleece me (or worse). I had no luck at the DMV in S. Texas, however, and realized whatever money I have is better spent on real life. I am now here in the cozy confines of a bustling commercial area full of hotels and super-nice grocery stores. There are many nice supermarkets in Mexico, but the HEB in New Braunfels is a legit cathedral of alimentary abundance. Like Six Flags, but for food. I wandered the aisles of milk and beef and honey like a medieval peasant beholding the wonders of an expansive, rollercoastered Notre Dame. Cauldrons of hummus bubbled like a delicious garbanzo quicksand between rows of brisket books written by none other than BBQ Lovecraft, the famous Texas beef enthusiast. I am a huge fan of his writing. His books are juicy and delicious. The words melt off the bones of the page like slow-cooked poetry and ribs. But being on a budget, I opted for some jalapeno rolls and lunchmeat instead. The journey of the Texas BBQ Iliad, in which a cowboy named Virgil leads the poet through the epic tales of BBQ Lovecraft, will have to wait until later.
"I am not a Christian artist. I am an artist who is a Christian." Johnny Cash
This message is directed at anyone who understands that we all have different roles to play in digging American culture out of the pit of amateur handheld pornography in which it has been roiling for so long. Some of us will stand on the corner with a sandwich board proclaiming the gospel through a megaphone, some of us will start secession movements, churches, or YouTube channels, and some of us will be on Johnny Cash assignment, playing music as ambassadors for Christ in a secular setting. Not unlike how a Christian mechanic will work in a secular garage, or a Christian athlete will sign on to a football team full of fornicating drunkards, playing his best game and glorifying God in a non-Christian industry. Which, since Christianity is a calling and not an industry, is all industries.
Hopefully.
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pablosmoglives
And Zelle using the email address [email protected]
But just as nobody tells the mechanic to repent of working on vehicles that don't belong to churches, people should stop telling the Christian musician to only work on gospel music. A baker who doesn't write "Jesus is Lord" on every birthday cake isn't wasting his talents on profligate degeneracy. Sometimes the job calls for nothing more than for him to write "Happy Birthday Bobby" across the hood of the confectionary hot rod in blue and purple frosting. Music is no different.
You've supported your Christian bakers against the culture of forced compliance in the past, and rightfully so. In like manner, I am asking for your help in supporting a Christian musician in the overheated spirit-kiln of the Austin music scene, an inverse West Berlin in East Germany, an island of myopic, Marxist self-importance in a sea of BBQ-Lovecraftian, Texas independence. I am legit surprised (and happy) to be here. I never thought I would see this place again.
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pablosmoglives
And Zelle using the email address [email protected]
If God led me here, it is not to sit around on the sofa getting fat on the slow-cooked poetry of BBQ Lovecraft. It's to hit the streets and get to work. My best friend in the world happens to live here, but he can't put me up because his apartment building only allows guests for 3 days. I don't have enough money to sit around, not even in Mexico, and I can start playing shows pretty much immediately. If not sooner. I have to hit the ground running. I can't live in a van with my cat. I know that from experience.
The articles below are re-posts of articles I wrote on Publish0x about the culture war, and the apparent unwillingness of Americans to win it. Which IMO is not intentional, but a simple unawareness of how to do it. I had to go to Mexico to extinguish my burnout, and now that the burnout is burned out, I can get back to playing again. Except... with a mission this time. I am not a preacher, or a teacher, but I am a singing creature who is tired of sleeping in the bleachers. It's time to get on the field. But I need your help.
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pablosmoglives
And Zelle using the email address [email protected]
Even with the generous donation from Jeanette in New Mexico, without your help I will be homeless before the end of the month at the latest. I am asking for your direct financial assistance, and if you can't help me with that, I am asking for you to promote me to your audience as the musical Bobby Fischer to the Marxist, neo-liberal Boris Spassky. As relentlessly as possible. I can win this match, but I need the funds, and I need the audience. You've helped out the Christian baker, and you support the mechanic with the Jesus fish on his business card, even though he doesn't work exclusively on church buses; in like manner, I am asking for you to support me. With relentless spreading of this message, if nothing else. Prayers, of course, which goes without saying (or should). All of the above. Thank you in advance.
Please forgive the tone of bitterness that permeates these articles like sporadic flecks of mold in so much purple guacamole, but they attempt to explain how the culture war can never be won by people who larp as legitimate artists, however well-known they may be.
Love of the Game: https://nathanpayne.substack.com/p/love-of-the-game
Requiem Mass in NY: https://nathanpayne.substack.com/p/requiem-mass-in-ny
The Culture War is Spiritual: https://nathanpayne.substack.com/p/the-culture-war-is-spiritual
Any donations can be accepted through Paypal at this link:
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pablosmoglives
And Zelle using the email address [email protected]
I am not asking merely for your patronage. I am asking for your friendship. I have an American phone now, so it is much easier for me to communicate with people. We are brothers and sisters in this fight for the souls of our unsaved friends and enemies alike. One of the best things that ever happened to me was to NOT be financially successful with my God-given talents at an early age; if I'd been well-known in my 20s I very likely would have been tempted to idolize my work, to elevate its importance above that of any other trade (God forbid), and would probably have died of an OD and gone to hell by now. I could have bought my mother a house, and would never have had to live in a van, but I'd be in hell, and so would my mother. Thank God, the opposite is the case.
But I know I can play again. Mexico dusted the cobwebs out of my music, and to my own surprise God has called me back to the US. If God tells me to work part time at the Quik-Mart or the equivalent, I'm not above it, but my financial situation is becoming urgent, and if I am forced into survival mode by circumstance, I can tell you from experience that taking ground in the culture war in an inverse West Berlin like Austin isn't going to happen. My cat needs a place to be secure. It doesn't have to be the Taj Mahal, but it isn't going to be the van, either. Done it. Numerous times. Never again.
Thank you, and God bless.
Nathan Payne
