We all have issues. Something is driving us

Everyone has some trauma , that runs their life. I use to think trauma is only something really mess up. But the way we behave all are doing things because of some experience in your past.maybe you were not the cool kid in high school so now you are desperate to do reckless things to prove something to yourself. I always knew that what I want to do with my life if way different from my parents because of the way i view my parents and my life growing up.

My parents are life is really stable i never had any problems , and that made me think it's boring and I am running away from that. I always hated it even though it was better than ok. My parents are successful on every metric in life. They over did it . Great jobs etc kids,travel , but from me till this day i don't even know what they like to do for fun or what their life is like . I just assumed it's always boring. Very sedentary, same country their whole lives, i don't even know who their friends are or what their favorite hobby is.So i always wanted to get out, dream of leaving this place and never returning.

What life would you choose.

i always think of this question If i had to choose between millions of dollars but be stuck living on a island for most of it or not that much but i get to travel and be uncomfortable a lot of the times i would go with the latter.Right at this moment i would prefer stability , like give me my dad's cushy job and the money he made ,hell yh , but i know after 2 years max I'd want to blow my brains out.. hmm to hyperbolic my perhaps. my parents life  is  okay, luke-warm in everything you might say. I feel driven to be more extreme. I don't know if most people just live boring, mundane lives an that's right path in life, you know. Is life supposed to be boring with a little chunks of fun sprinkled in.Are we all delusional in thinking life supposed to be fun 24/7. like I'm on norcotics all the time running from one thing to the next.  I know that is impossible but it must be social media influence on me, even though I rarely use it . Everytime I imagine some boring , stable  future i feel dread, like nah that can't be me. I don't know what conclusion is it.like  which future would you pick.

My favorite podcast recently is Chris Williamson , that's where I get a lot of my thinking from.