This is the first of a 12-part series, where I will be remixing one chapter a week of Jordan Peterson's book 12 Rules For Life, to coincide with the 12 weeks remaining for my one year celibacy vow.
"It is also a mistake to conceptualize nature romantically. Rich, modern city-dwellers, surrounded by hot, baking concrete, imagine the environment as something pristine and paradisal, like a French impressionist landscape. Eco-activists, even more idealistic in their viewpoint, envision nature as harmoniously balanced and perfect, absent the disruptions and depredations of mankind. Unfortunately, "the environment" is also elephantiasis and guinea worms, anopheles mosquitoes and malaria, starvation-level droughts, AIDS and the Black Plague.
We don't fantasize about the beauty of these aspects of nature, although they are just as real as their Edenic counterparts. It is because of the existence of such things, of course, that we attempt to modify our surroundings, protecting our children, building cities and transportation systems and growing food and generating power. If Mother Nature wasn't so hell-bent on our destruction, it would be easier for us to exist in simple harmony with her dictates."
pp. 13-14
Conceptualizing nature romantically is a perfect description of being Blue Pilled. Before MGTOW, we believed that women had no or very loosely defined nature, and were able to love man equally and independently of the influences of her social environment.
Being the rational beings that men are, we advocated for women to have even more access and equality when they asked for it, believing that the centuries of subjugation women endured before our modern comfort was simply due to the selfish "disruptions and depredations of man."
But then came the family court: Divorce, unbalanced child support and custody laws, alimony, paternity fraud, false accusations, abortion.
It is because of the existence of these things that us MGTOW men attempt to modify our surroundings, protecting our assets, building wealth and communication systems, growing knowledge and generating personal sovereignty. "If [Female] Nature wasn't so hell-bent on our destruction, it would be easier for us to exist in simple harmony with her dictates."
"A lobster needs a safe hiding place to rest, free from predators, and the forces of nature."
p. 5
Men disperse in a variety of levels of engagement with women after taking the red pill. Many still choose to date and marry and simply avoid the dark alleyways of female nature. MGTOW can still interact with women but explicitly proclaim no marriage and cohabitation. But some men, the MGTOW Monks, go even further, by either replacing relationships with women altogether (through escorts or sex dolls), or living without them through celibacy.
But no matter which way a man chooses, every direction is motivated by self-preservation. I can appreciate advocating men to be informed on female nature and not putting their balls into a vice if they don't have to. But what I can not agree with is to proceed with life with a constant doubt and fear at the back of the mind because of the things we have learned. I can not agree with living just to live.
Even though they might have been Blue Pill, many men, like soldiers, willingly put their lives on the line for their values, making it possible for them to even fulfill their purpose in spite of their deaths.
A common criticism of MGTOW is that we go to great lengths to preserve our resources but potentially have no legacy to pass down said wealth. Without taking any sacrifices, many accuse MGTOW of practicing hedonism.
But in my world, MGTOW Monk Mode can actually entail the ultimate sacrifice, and is a life no longer lived in fear, but with fight and with purpose.
Basis of Desire
"Any man can go around hitting on women... walking around chest puffed out like you're tough, like you're the man...but only a select few are so f--in awesome that the women come to them...If I can't be that guy I don't deserve to have sex. I won't accept anything less.
...Chances of failure very high. Chances of success very low...but this challenge sets my soul on fire. I feel like I'm punching the biggest motherf--ker in jail right now...This, to me, is masculine, because this is hard. This is damn near impossible, and I love it. - Chad Marco
OCM Botcast Ep.006
It doesn't matter if you choose to be celibate or sexually active, the first rule of Monk Mode will simply be to not pursue women.
It's been said so many times in many different ways.
"Disregard women, acquire currency."
"First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women." - Scarface
"Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings." - Proverbs 31:3
Low value men have rationalized the pursuit of women as a male rite of passage and societal imperative. But truthfully there is no achievement in attraction and desire.
One of my favorite concepts introduced by the author Robert Greene is that we are not completely human, but actually animals trying to become human. The rationalization to pursue women is merely the intelligent translation of our genetic desire to proliferate the human species.
Men are biologically designed to be sexually liberal, as just one man could be enough to stabilize and replenish the human population if it were ever in danger, as he can impregnate many women in rapid succession.
So when men realize this desire in them, and act upon it, it's no different than any other impulsive decision to satisfy a base desire.
"It will render you impulsive, so that you will jump, for example, at any short-term mating opportunities, or any possibilities of pleasure, no matter how sub-par, disgraceful or illegal. If you have high status, on the other hand...You don't need to grasp impulsively at whatever crumbs come your way, because you can realistically expect good things to remain available. You can delay gratification, without forgoing it forever."
p. 17
Because many men do shy away from approaching women, many other men will mistakenly believe that pursuing women is indeed "Standing up straight with your shoulders back", confronting the unknown, and "transforming the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order."
However, to use the Taoist Yin (Black/Chaos) and Yang (White/Order) symbology, the white circle on the top of the black snake's head symbolizes that Chaos has the potential to seek or become order. Therefore, we must allow Chaos, the feminine, to pursue or select it's own Order.
Because if a man pursues, he is admitting that women are his chaos, the uncertainty that he must bring to order in his life, as opposed to some other higher purpose.
If he is rejected, does he now not descend into disorder? But even if he is accepted, because he has taken upon himself the task to resolve her chaotic nature, she will always serve as the black circle upon his head that has the potential to unravel him into chaos.
Order, then, should for the most part be stable and unchanging. Otherwise, Chaos would not know if it is residing in just a different form of Chaos.
So how do we maintain order? How do we transcend our base instincts?
The Instinct To Fight
"[Female lobsters] start hanging around the dominant lobster's pad, spraying attractive scents and aphrodisiacs toward him, trying to seduce him. His aggression has made him successful, so he's likely to react in a dominant, irritable manner. Furthermore, he's large, healthy and powerful. It's no easy task to switch his attention from fighting to mating."
p.10
Even though I have labeled the pursuit of sex as a base animal instinct, even the prehistoric, lower life-form lobster still does not trivially pursue females, and this is possible because the lobster must always be ready to fight.
"Territory matters, and there is little difference between territorial rights and social status. It is often a matter of life and death."
p. 4
The lobster instinctively knows that if it simply vies for the best possible territory around, it will grant him access to resources, which in turn attracts females. Reproduction is a by-product of his success.
But the human male has forgotten this instinct. In modern times and developed economies, we are raised with all the necessary boxes for survival checked off long ago, so naturally, our ancient biological counter creates an imbalance as it is also expecting sexual access to coincide with the level of health and comfort we have achieved, resulting in men debasing themselves to acquire it.
So the story may end here, for some of you, as the simple answer to this is that men must always fight against hypergamy, the female trait that sexually selects men of equal or higher value. Because feminism has given women increased access to resources and social status, acquiring sex has now become a much more expensive endeavor.
Although it still incurs a cost, some men try to subvert the traditional ways of attracting a mate by learning pick-up or "game", which I like to say is a complementary or artificial boost to a man's status.
It's interesting, because I noticed that there are some men who first join the pick-up community and logically deduce they should instead take a hiatus from dating to enter Monk Mode, only to return once they have settled accounts; these men wanted to pursue inner confidence first instead of the brute-force desensitization method pick-up artists employ by constantly approaching women.
And of course, the most common critique against this Monk Mode tactic was that Gaming needs to be a constant practice, and you will be more likely to revert to being Blue Pill after all that time away from women. Essentially, after all those days in the desert, you will mistake your first drink for an oasis, and destroy yourself.
I always considered this as simple marketing, of course, because if these men were able to tap into their inner lobsters, they would no longer need to consume the PUA coach's content anymore.
But now I see it is an entirely possible scenario for those of you men whose stories end here. But for those of you who want to stay in Wonderland, allow me to offer you an even stronger Red Pill, and show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Self-Knowledge
Comment from Relationships Are An Anchor To Your Success - Immortal Mindz
As you can see from the reply count, this comment was quite controversial.
In all the lines before the last one, it's a clear case of the warning gaming coaches shared about men losing the ability to have boundaries with women after experimenting with Monk Mode . However, the controversy is in the last line.
"I need that woman bad, bro."
Bodied.
I chimed in with a more level-headed response though, and simply told OP that even though my one-year celibacy vow ends in three months, it is no longer a matter of needing vs. wanting a woman, but whether I can or cannot have a woman, because I have my purpose.
"Will she anchor my success?" is the question I will constantly ask myself.
Unfortunately, Immortal Mindz does sell a "hope" strategy (the 5% woman is a NAWALT), and so I'm afraid many of his viewers will never find their way.
The reason why the OP felt like he lost himself was because he has not done the work to fully understand that the desire for sex and female companionship is so powerful, that 99% of men are actively or subconsciously constructing a significant portion of their identities based around it. And after it is acquired, whether the relationship results in failure or lasting success, it is unequivocal that he also loses a part of himself along the way.
Sacrifice
To summarize, the first rule is to never pursue women, as man should delegate the selection process to women instead, as females are more emotionally, biologically, and socially invested in reproduction and relationships than men are.
An example for this is the life of a high status male lobster, whom by default does not entertain women and is instead seduced, as he gains access to them as a by-product of maximizing his survival instincts.
After slaying the dragon, the Princess and gold are already there for you: You do not need to seek anything but your goal.
The female lobster is dangerously close to shedding her shell when she attempts to seduce the male lobster, and uses scents and aphrodisiacs to do so. Sounds like a perfumed and provocatively dressed female to me.
To not completely restrict themselves from the pleasures of life, some men will accept these seductions after their success has granted them access to women in this way. From there, some men will discern which of these women are also of high-value before he accepts their invitation, like Immortal Mindz' 95/5 dynamic.
But the last group of men will either deny, ignore, or avoid the opportunities to be seduced completely. This is not specifically because of some aversion to women, although those men exist. For these men, it is not about gaining access to women, but whether or not women have access to them.
Monk Mode is the most intense yet rewarding path a man can take because it allows him to discover a passion so absorbing of his Being that he is willing to forego food, sex, hygiene, and even friends, family, and reputation for a time, or completely, in order to advance his ultimate desires.
“Freud held the opinion (based on personal experience and observation) that sexual activity was incompatible with the accomplishing of any great work. Since he felt that the great work of creating and establishing psychotherapy was his destiny, he told his wife that they could no longer engage in sexual relations. Indeed from about the age of forty until his death Freud was absolutely celibate 'in order to sublimate the libido for creative purposes,' according to his biographer Ernest Jones.”
It is not a matter of aversion, but ascension.
When a man's potential is realized, his path to destiny finalized, even if he has been given a marriage, he will still find himself incompatible with the traditional rules of engagement between men and women.
Einstein fathered two sons and was married for a combined 34 years with two wives, but apparently required strict rules that effectively rendered the wives as his obedient servants. After his first divorce and the death of his second wife, Einstein was nonchalant, publicly expressing feelings of tranquility and living "like a bear in his den."
Source: https://www.apost.com/en/blog/einsteins-brutal-rules-for-his-wife-that-disgust-women-today/6946/
Speaking of living like animals, the relationship between lobsters is not very far off.
"Afterward, the female hangs around, and hardens up for a couple of weeks (another phenomenon not entirely unknown among human beings). At her leisure, she returns to her own domicile, laden with fertilized eggs."
pp. 10-11
A man only considers, and later succeeds at, living in Monk Mode when he fully internalizes his perception that because of his talent or acquired knowledge, he may not be able to lead a common life.
The deeper he is involved in Monk Mode, the more the matters of the material and biological processes slowly begin to drift away from him, as he progressively becomes no longer a man but a mere vessel for his talent.
The decision to not pursue women for the man in monk Mode is unnecessary, because either they instead pursue him, or it is a necessity to avoid them to preserve the time needed to advance his goals.
Therefore, this rule is not a commandment, one that men should pressure themselves to follow, but is merely an observation.
You are neither inadequate nor excellent for your pursuit or abstinence from women. This is simply a matter of finding the full extent of your self-expression.
After all, the lobster does not consider any of these things. He is successful solely from the superb synchrony of his instincts.
But living as a human, for better or worse, we have developed norms and habits that are outside of our instincts. With so many influences, we don't know our true individual natures.
Monk Mode is simply the way for man to re-discover himself, within himself.
"A lobster needs a safe hiding place to rest, free from predators, and the forces of nature."
"The body [and mind], with its various parts, needs to function like a well-rehearsed orchestra. Every system must play its role properly, and at exactly the right time, or noise and chaos ensue. It is for this reason that routine [and Monk Mode] is so necessary. The acts of life we repeat every day need to be automatized. They must be turned into stable and reliable habits, so they lose their complexity and gain predictability and simplicity."
pp. 5, 18
To get started, don't commit to anything, but simply ask "Who am I without women?", and if you want to know for certain, "What will happen if I give them up for a year?"
Meditate on these matters.
Thank you for reading. - Monk Moon Base
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