I feel like I'm in some kind of limbo, freeze frame, parallel universe currently... I feel blessed that I have my university work to focus on (writing an essay on a critical evaluation of teaching and learning practices, and also the practical side; lesson planning, marking homework), because the outside world has turned into some kind of messed up dystopian nightmare... amandaseales said it well in one her posts today, that 'today feels like the whole country is waiting on a STD test'... Haha, yeaaaa! I don't even live in America but we all know that matters not; he whom is at the helm in the States effects us all, globally, so this is a GLOBAL STD TEST! Except most STD's are resolvable with a course of tablets and abstaining for a period from extra curricular activities.
Trump being re-elected would be more detrimental to many folks lives than getting AIDS! Too much? Maybe, but at least you, as an individual can now live with that. It's containable. With Trump back in power, we, as a people, are doomed; socially, environmentally, economically, not to mention Covid wise...The lives, security, freedom and opportunities of Black people, people of colour, women, those in poverty because of any of the above or any other reason. Trump loves Trump and will only ever actively support that which supports him.
I spoke to a friend today...he made the comment that a Black, gay friend of his in America voted for Trump because, and I quote "it is down to individuals to make their own success so if you reject government meddling in your affairs then Trump seems a better choice." Or at least that is what his friend thinks. My response was something along the lines of how this guy must feel really special being one of the rare Black people 'clever enough' to vote for Trump and that it's fucking sad when folk side with their oppressors over their people. Over themselves, essentially. This is one of the ways in which oppression works. My imagining is that this guy is very middle class, has 'done well' and wants to be part of the team that he sees as winning. Like some fucked up Aesop's fable. Reality is, he just be the rabbit sat on the crocodile's head crossing the river... Crocodile's don't give lifts for free though and they will only ever see you as a rabbit.
It looks like it will be days before we see the true measure of this race... One seriously fucked up misogynistic, racist, self serving, maniacal and mentally deficient white dude against another guy, who is white, privileged, has his own set of issues and is actually not the dreamboat President we might all wish for but is at least slightly less of a fuck up and hey, Kamala Harris, a beacon of light... It almost feels pointless watching... pointless and painful, but it's a nice distraction from what is going out on terra firma... IE British politics and Covid; 500 new deaths in the last 24hours here in the UK... 500 deaths and we are a month off the predicted peak... 500 deaths and national lockdown starts tomorrow but no one is happy about how it's being executed, from a public safety perspective and an economy perspective. My 19 years later, dystopian nightmare horror story I wrote (in my last post) for Halloween, seems way close to the bone currently. To say I'm scared doesn't quite cut it but it's the sort of fear that is legless; won't stand up in the court of my own jurisdiction; I cannot let it dominate, because in terms of fish, I got way too many to fry; being a good mama, new career/being back at school and just making ends meet. I cannot afford to get whipped up into anxiety because...life goes on bitch...and if you take your foot off the peddle at the wrong moment, that slow lane will take you down. I refuse to drown.
The thought of taking an STD test is laughable at the moment given the barren landscape of my sex life this year... Nice analogy but a painful one. Who, other than those in couples, millennials and those that just don't care, have had an undisturbed sex life this year since March? Am wishing an STD test was all I had to worry about right now... All. Digits. Crossed. Like to the point of those digits almost being crushed under the force of pressure of my relief!
Hugs to anyone in need... Any given back welcomed too.