It's Black History Month in the States currently and although I'm UK based, BHM should never just be a one off month in my mind, it is consistently a point to reflect upon, because the reason we have it is a really boiled down to the prevailing racism that didn't just disappear after the civil rights movement and changes in law.
There are many different ways that racism presents in this world and many different poems I've written to discuss them, this one today feels apt, after a brief encounter I had yesterday in the park with a stranger. I have a head of lioness like hair. Yes, I'm proud of it and have no issue with other people appreciating it, but there is a certain thing that happens all too often with Black women's hair, that is often confusing for white folk, because in one sense they see it as a compliment, but it has a history that is tied into white supremacy and othering.
Walking in the park, minding my own business, with my headphones on, and a random woman I don't know, ignoring the fact that I'm in my own world (headphones) is miming, vividly to me. I take my headphones off, perhaps she has mistaken me for someone she knows. But no...
"omg, your HAIR! It's sooooo amazing, I mean really, you should be proud of that hair. Most of us have to pay for hair that thick!“
This was delivered loudly, in a public place and, you know what, I've been here before. If it wasn't for the pandemic and the 2 metre distance we are living amidst, she would probably be trying to touch it.
Some of you might say, what's the problem here. She is giving you a compliment. Well, here's the thing. There is a long standing history of Black women's hair being used against them, against us, as a point of difference. As a point of, you are not like us. Like anything other than the Caucasian standard of normality is a point of interest and spectacle. I should be proud suggests that she feels I am not... Somewhere deep down knowing we live in a world that degrades my non straight and sleek hair. Degrades Blackness. And fetishisation is a thing, that when it is to do with Blackness, it is hard often for white folk to get their heads around.
Some of you might say, surely that's better than being verbally abused. My response would be a quote from the late and great Martin Luther King...
"I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
Basically, the overt racist acts of steadfast racists are not the main issue in society. Of course, getting called a nigger is more upsetting than someone saying stuff about or touching my hair, but we live in a world where the former, in my neck of the woods and generally in Western societies, doesn't happen as often as the latter. But the racist structures still persist. That is because underneath the iceberg of racism; the tip being the stuff people catch on their smartphones and upload onto their social media, is the main bulk of how it is maintained and propped up. The everyday, subtle drip drip of othering, of us and them. It presents in a multitude of ways, most of which, most white folk would think are harmless. But perhaps you'd feel differently if you actually had to live it.
I Could have said to that woman; lady, I don't need your validation to feel valued and beautiful. I don't need or want you to publicly confront me with your shock and awe at our difference and your own joy at how capable you are of seeing beauty in what you know is supposed to be ugly. I am not here to validate your compassionate heat and zeal. If you believe in the idea of equality and truly feel that I, as a Black woman should feel proud of my cultural heritage and physicality, read up on how to promote that. Read up on the history of Black women's hair being used against them historically and read up on how prevalent the feeling is amongst Black women of feeling deeply uncomfortable with this type of interaction.
I didn't say any of this of course, I said nothing. Just smiled awkwardly, put my headphones back on and walked off. And not because I didn't have the words or courage, but because it takes it out of you to have to confront stuff like that, and I refuse to be forced to be teacher whenever someone hasn't bothered learning for themselves. Yes, basically it is up to white folk to learn this shit for themselves.
The following poem is about how racial bias presents within the beauty industry, in particular with Black women and the idea of what constitutes beauty; what is socially accepted as valued. And growing up as a mixed kid in a very white world, I struggled with this, in particular as a child, being literally told by my Indian family that I could 'pass for white' if I straightened my hair etc. Sometimes I wear box braid extensions or twist my hair up, but I refuse, politically, to straighten my hair. It is my crown and glory yes and also a symbol of my pride in my Blackness.
Racism is not just one thing, it is really complex and nuanced but at the same time really quite simple.
Racism, as an ideology, is generally accepted to be not simply just a form of prejudice based on an individual's ethnicity, but in contemporary terms, a historical, political, economic and systemic form of prejudice and oppression. In this light, racism is not the same as prejudice. If I, as a half St Lucian and half Indian person decided, for example, that I didn't like white English people, that would be préjudice but not racism in this sense, because there is no way that my irrational dislike of them, as a people, helps to create or maintain an historic system of oppression against them; ie we do not live in a society where Black (non white) people are perceived as superior and whites perceived as inferior. Therefore my prejudice, despite being bad and backwards of myself to feel it and horrible for the person on the recieving end, is not part of a larger political system of oppression.
I am actually not prejudiced in that sense. The only people I see myself as superior to, are bigots. Racists, misogynists, people who view themselves as superior by virtue of an aspect of their identity. These people, yes, I do look down on because... Well, it means they are unable and unwilling to even try to rewrite their own socialisation. I have friends and family members who probably come into this category. It does not stop me caring about or loving them, but I do not necessarily see these people as intellectual peers and equals. Perhaps it therefore makes me prejudiced to not accept racists and bigots as worthy of my full respect. Or perhaps I just have high expectations of people.
The word prejudice literally means to pre judge and its opposite would therefore be a state of naivety. We all, to varying degrees, have to pre judge situations. It is how we navigate the world. But I think, as a human race, our capacity for instinct has been eroded and replaced by a series of intellectualised and politicised ideas about certain groups of people. Politicised and created by those in positions of power generally. Such as those by men, about women. I am generalising here, but we do live in a very patriarchal world. Most societies are still very patriarchal - the fight for gender equality is, as most would agree, a fight against patriarchy, as it does not want women to be equal. Patriarchal societies are founded on the belief that women are there to decorate the world and look after, cater for and serve the needs of men, whose role is to run it. Not be autonomous beings in their own right. Not be equal, Co creators in the running of that world. So. When you have a woman who is...perhaps not 'domesticated' in that sense. Who lives according to her own rules, not to please or serve men, she is demonised by the world around her. Women who choose career over family. Women who are gay. Single mothers. Mothers who dare to have a career as well as a family. Equally, if we see a woman, scantily clad... Dancing provocatively, suggestively. Who is free with her body and mind. Who likes men, loves them, but does not feel she is beholden to them. To many men (and socialised women) she is viewed in a very particular light. She probably sleeps with a lot of men. Has low morals. Is a bad person. Not a lady (whatever that word means). Deserves bad things that happen to her. We view her negatively because she is out of her box.
If that woman is then sexually assaulted, raped. Many people will see her, not her abuser, as culpable. If she doesn't, she will just not be afforded the respect that other women, women in their boxes will.
We also have the prejudices against people of colour, by white and other people of colour. This can present in a multitude of ways. Verbal abuse; shouting names or derogatory language. Discrimination in services and employment, or sometimes in more subtle and nuanced ways. For example. I am a light skinned woman of colour, but no, I do not 'pass for white' and have no desire to. I am Black (politically Black because that is how I'm perceived, my Indian heritage I am proud of but often is not registered) and will not be made to deny this or feel grateful for not being overtly abused or allowed into the 'white world'. I am currently training in an academic setting, doing my postgraduate in education and training to be a teacher. It doesn't matter how professional I look. It doesn't matter that I am very well spoken and articulate (in fact I think that serves to wind people up). It doesn't matter that I am intelligent, that I have proved my worth in that sphère by getting the highest score possible in my most recent postgraduate assignment. When I am with my professional peers, my cohort, I am often not listened to, or engaged with. I am often left out. If I were a younger woman, this would upset me, but as a woman in her 40s, who has been through these things countless times before, I can see it for what it is. People often cannot handle the juxtaposition of their innate and embedded prejudices, stereotypes and racism and the affront of me (any person of colour) not being what they expect. Not being a reflection of their perceived superiority. Of being the opposite. I am often not liked in white intellectual circles, for exactly these reasons.
I have just finished reading a great book by Malcolm Gladwell called Outliers. It discusses the idea of success; what makes someone successful. I think the up shot is, that it is a combination of knowing yourself: your personal strengths and weaknesses, and also understanding when you are presented with an opportunity and having the tools to do something with that. Part luck, part nature, part hard work.
One of the things he looked at were cultural legacies, or rather, how our cultures and ethnicities to varying degrees shape us. A psychologist named Hofstede came up with a way of measuring certain traits and qualities within different cultures, as can be seen here; hofstede-insights.com. Have a go, put your country of origin in and also your parents too if that is different. In some ways, I wonder how useful it is, in regards to the idea of racism and prejudice. Is this not just a way of separating people in a more definitive and scientific way? Perhaps, but I do see certain cultural traits that are like truism within particular cultures, so I was intrigued.
The three traits that are measured that interested me the most are the Power Distance Index, Uncertainty Tolérance and Masculinity.
Power Distance Index (PDI) is the measure of how people within a certain culture react to ideas of hierarchy. Do they naturally and innately, as a culture, believe that everyone has their natural place and accept hierarchical structures... Or do they believe in a sense of equality and feel comfortable pushing against hierarchies? England has a low PDI, meaning we don't accept hierarchies. In most Caribbean cultures, the PDI is also low, much lower than the UK. In India it is high. So for me, as someone half Caribbean, half Indian, raised in England, I will be a mix of these. This makes sense, because i am by nature very anti establishment and have no issue standing up for myself in most scenarios. I don't give people respect simply because of their social standing, whether that is my own father, the Prime Minister or my teacher. I feel I have a right to speak my truth. But it always makes me feel exhausted when I do. That must be the Indian part of me feeling discomfort at being like this.
Some countries with a high PDI are Korea, China, India, Belgium, Slovenia, Mexico, Nigeria. Some countries with a low PDI are Austria, Jamaica, Sweden, USA, Netherlands and New Zealand.
Uncertainty avoidance, is to do with how well people within a particular culture, are able to handle uncertainty, in other words, how easy going they are, or how much they need order and structure. In the UK, our desire to avoid uncertainty is pretty low again. Keep Calm and carry on (regardless)? Yes, I think it is quite a British thing to be calm in the face of no plan or a change of plan. Caribbean countries, again are low too and also India. In fact India I think is the lowest. Interesting that all 3 of those cultures is so different but all share this quality, a quality which is quite dominant in me as an individual.
Countries with a high degree of uncertainty avoidance are Belgium, France, Spain, Brazil, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Greece. Countries with a low degree of uncertainty avoidance are Canada, China, Denmark, Ireland, Sweden.
Masculinity, this is a measure of how work is viewed in any particular country. Ie do people live to work (is success in the field of work the most important aspect of life) or do people work to live (work is what is done to support life and other ventures, more emphasis put on happiness, health and nurturing).
The UK, Caribbean and India are all middle to high countries. Suggesting there is a féminine and nurturing aspect to these cultures but it is still dominated by success and power. How does that reflect in me? It has taken me until my 40s to go back to college and do my postgraduate diploma because, I didn't believe I could succeed, because I have been told all my life I couldn't. And if failure is not acceptable, in this masculine, success and power oriented culture, then maybe I shied away from even trying. Despite always wanting it. There is also the fact that I am not a competitive person by nature, an anomaly maybe for the 3 cultures which underpin my persona.
Countries which are high in the masculinity stakes are Austria, Japan, Italy, Iraq (Japan scoring the highest). Most countries seem to be in the mid range.
Countries with low masculinity are Iceland, Sweden, Denmark, Cape Verde, Costa Rica..
I think the idea is not that everyone in those countries or cultures will be like that, there are always anomalies and mixtures also (like with myself). But that the majority of people within that culture will inhabit those traits. It is the essence of prejudice in some ways but an interesting idea. Is my own personal low PDI à product of my Caribbean and British ness? Or simply just who I am? I have to say, when I look at my mother (who is Indian) and my father (who is Caribbean), they definitely fall into those categories, and in that sense I am more like my father, more Caribbean than Indian. But I also have Indian friends who are not like that and know people of Caribbean descent who wouldn't dare stand up to 'the man' for fear of breaking hierarchy. Re the masculinity aspect, I am definitely more Indian than British or Caribbean, because it is more mid range than high and scores lowest out of the 3. I personally feel more of an affinity, in this sense with countries like Sweden and Iceland. Traditionally feminine cultures, that prioritise the journey and well being over the goal, but when you look at how small, insular and wealthy these countries are, you can perhaps see that it is easier for them to not be so goal oriented. It is a privilege and luxury other cultures cannot afford.
What am I saying here? No... We are not all the same. Very different in many ways and often for really obvious, structural, economic or geographical reasons. But when different becomes the basis for feeling superior or better, this is when pré judging à situation, individual or culture becomes being (inhabiting your own and your culture's socialised) prejudice(d).
I remember once have an argument with a young South African white guy. He used the N word and tried to justify it, saying it was valid in HIS country... Apparently what I didn't understand was that the Blacks in MY country were different to the Blacks in HIS country, in HIS country they were uncivilised, ignorant and violent. He said he preferred the Blacks here in the UK. As a point of interest, he was flirting with me, attempting to at least. I did point out to him that perhaps the Blacks in the UK had benefitted from not having to live through a system as dehumanising as apartheid and had had the benefit of at least the impression of equality within education. And perhaps his innate prejudice was never going to encourage a reasonable discussion with the Blacks in HIS country. He told me that he wasn't being racist, that he liked Blacks elsewhere, and used our reasonable discussion as case in point. Back home he had to exercise caution and use his judgment wisely. At which point I used my pint of beer wisely and threw it over him. Case in point. Offensive is offensive, and ignorance is ignorance wherever you are.
Getting back to my first point, about the idea of beauty. Beauty is not something that can be measured scientifically, like the idea of cultural legacies and dispositions. It is and should be a very personal and intimate instinct or feeling, or even something that is culturally accepted and normalised. Unfortunately, in many African and Asian countries, skin bleaching is big business. The idea being that even in non white countries, ideals of beauty and value are still deeply entrenched in the racist ideologies. The closer to white you present, the more successful you will be. The more attractive you will be perceived as.
My Indian relatives talking about how I could 'pass for white' if I straightened my hair, were making reference to this. In their mind doing me a kindness. But in my mind, it is a point of shame and sadness when people of colour; Black, Brown - not white, degrade themselves and continue the slave masters work. There is much work still to do and we all have a role.
