It's funny, yesterday I spoke to 2 people on the phone; one a family member (Black) another à friend (white). After the standard and general greetings, and the "how are you coping? " lockdown check ins, both conversations moved on, to more meaty stuff. The assault on the US Capitol has been big international news and the scenes so shocking, almost unbelievable and surreal to all watching, so both conversations started off discussing that. I bring this up because the fork in the road, not surprisingly perhaps, occurred after my quite emotional response to this scenario and expression of how concerned it made me feel... my white (and actually quite politicised, left leaning, BLM supporting) friend couldn't really understand it. In her mind, it was a surreal and extreme moment in American history, kept going on about how she knew this would happen, that it was an incident that would hopefully see some changes to the way police brutality and systemic racism was dealt with, but that was America, it would, in her own words "never get that bad here". And very swiftly moved the conversation on, either because she didn't believe there was anymore to discuss or was uncomfortable about where that conversation could possibly go.

Alternatively, the Black family member I spoke to, understood my concern and fears instinctively. Because it is not simply a case of something happening there, on the other side of the pond, there is something going on across the whole world with racism (and by that, I mean the white privilège and entitlement that allows racism to continue). The difference between racism here in the UK and the States, could almost be boiled down to the differences in the stereotypes of the British versus American persona; ie British stereotype is of being super polite, diplomatic (so as to get the most out of any given situation), to be economical with the truth. This leads to the sort of racism where the vast majority of racism is entirely unseen, is just woven so neatly into the fabric and structures of our institutions and society, that it is invisible and accepted as normal. Racism in the UK is a dirty word and although yes, we definitely do have overt, terrifying and disgusting incidences of racism, it is within our sacred (and often envied) institutions, that we see racism doing its most prolific and creative work. The American stereotype on the other hand is that of a loud, heart on sleeve, say it as it is, even if it offends because sincerity means more than diplomacy type way. American racists are often not only proud to be so (Proud Boys) but are so confident in the racist structures that uphold their society, that they know, despite BLM peaceful protesters getting teargassed and shot with rubber bullets, that for them to commit a serious crime on a federal building, that largely, they will be not only allowed to do it, but also not be met with the same level of force and brutality, despite them having weapons. Because they are white. Because police act more rationally and reasonably (to the point of not reacting anywhere near quick of extremely enough) when the people viewed as a threat are largely white. The fact that trump was voted in, in the first place and not removed from office in his 4 years, is testament to how ingrained and normalised racism has become in the US. And normalised not just to white racist Americans but a proportion of Black Americans too. Kehinde Andrews wrote a great piece about what happened a few days ago at the US Capitol entitled the psychosis of whiteness coming home to roost, and explains how this psychosis (NOT a suggestion that all white people are psychotic BTW and isn't limited to only white folk) is borne of the constant push to uphold whiteness and white supremacist structures, whilst simultaneously having to ignore the disgusting things that white (America in this context) has had to do to get what it has. The genocide. The slavery. The creation of the notion of the n*****r, as James Baldwin so beautifully puts it in the amazing I am Not Your Negro;

Because yes, white America needed to give themselves a sense of superiority in order to feel that the blood on their hands was justifiable. That it was acceptable, necessary and right to have what they have off the blood, sweat and lives of a specified other. This is the upholding of white supremacist values. This is at the root of this psychosis. 

And unfortunately, as I suggested, no, it isn't just white people who align themselves with and uphold this ideology. We have to remember that a) there are Black folk in America who voted for trump. Either told themselves he wasn't racist or said they were voting for policies, not personality, even though part of that personality does not inherently believe in equality between Black and whites. Is in fact racist. There are, unfortunately BIPOC who think that there is a way for them to benefit from this system of whiteness, as long as they play the game. Deny the oppression of BIPOC communities, become a white(ness) ally, tone down their Black rights politicism and ignore the systems of abuse and oppression that created the type of wealth and security they seek. Because they have been manipulated by the words of a man who just needed their vote.

The demonising of the Black man, that need for Baldwins n*****r, as he tried to achieve equality in America, can only be described through this psychosis, because a) how do good white people continue to feel more superior if they ain't got no negros to look down upon? And b) how do they justify all that they, (as a country, society) have done in the name of advancements? How can they look themselves in the eye and call America their home, their land (whilst knowing the reality of how that land came to be America as we know it)? How can they live with the truth of their past and how much the cruelty and inhumanity of the days of slavery paid into their systems and pockets? How can they live with that and still allow themselves to prosper? A bit like if you find out the house your daddy left you was one he bought with money he made selling child pornography. How would you reconcile that with yourself? Even if you only found out after the fact. If you continued to live in and own (profit from) that house, the level of distortion (psychosis) in your mind would be immense. How would you circle that square without engaging in some level of disillusion? What I am saying is that in order to chase that American dream, Americans have to dissociate themselves from the truth of what it took to build that dream as a nation. And not only was that dream built off the back of genocide and slavery of BIPOC, it is also not equally available to them. 

As I mentioned, this is not simply something that is concerning, for me, in the States. Racism, whether overt or through inaction is everywhere. There is a backlash within this psychosis of whiteness across the globe, it just presents in different ways. But the idea of what privilege looks like is very much tied into how racism presents. Have a look at this great visual description for context:

The fragility of too many white people still, is too severe to fully acknowledge and accept what racism is, especially if quel horreur, it might include them and some of their words or behaviours, because in their mind they have themselves painted as one of the good ones. The fragility of those with whom it doesn't take too much unwrapping to find out that they have some serious racial bias issues but they are not doing anything about that because, racism isn't their problem, they are just not that personally invested, despite enjoying the company of non white people, aspects of their culture like food and music and agreeing, theoretically that racism is bad. 

The above kinds of people probably come under the category or identity of somewhere between numbers 3 and 5 on the above scale. They are not, by à long shot, at the most extreme end of racist; they are not active white supremacists and racists, they probably don't believe they are complicit or have anything to learn, and love to tell stories about their Black friends, lovers etc, but their existence a) still disallows progression in the movement towards equality, because like it or not, they are still allowing themselves to occupy the position of white superiority and privilege by being complicit, numbers 3 - 5 isn't doing enough and b) it allows the more extreme end racists (1 and 2), a comfort buffer and makes their existence easier. It is always easier to exist at a point on any spectrum, where you have folk next to you on either side, slightly more to left and right. If there is a huge gulf between what you believe and how you act and the next person to the left, you have to accept how extreme and racist (in this scenario) you are.

What I'm saying, is that for white people out there, you need to actively pick a side and work out exactly what being on that side means. If you just don't have it within you to look at your own racial biases or call out family members, or speak out about racism, it is no longer acceptable to say you are not racist; that you're just not that political. Sorry. Being apolitical is no longer valid when it comes to racism. You are a racist. You are every much a part of the problem as police brutality and overt racist violence.

If you do, and want to unpick this, within yourself and the world around you. Accept you probably do need to try harder and that that will be continuous work. And no, that doesn't mean go immediately to one of your Black friends and try to get them to make you feel better about being a good ally, to validate you. It means actually looking inwards. And yes, asking poc how you can do better, but be prepared to listen to what is being said to you, and to check yourself for defensive reactions.

The issue with Britishness, is that politeness, easy going niceness has become a virtue that hides a multitude of sins. That virtue has become a form of kudos and too many (not all, I know lots of great allies) want to be good simply because that informs their sense of self, but are unable to truly look at themselves. A guy I was dating, very briefly last year, who was white and very privileged, excitedly told me about the diversity and inclusion statement he had written up for his University in the aftermath of George Floyd, when all big white institutions were doing the same, because they were pressured to not be put under the spotlight. When I asked exactly what was meant by the word consultation, because I had too often seen that term used as lipservice to give the impression that marginalised groups had a voice. When I asked how that would actually play out, how much their voices would count in decisions made, he answered me curtly but didn't want to discuss it in detail. What... Because, apparently I was supposed to be impressed that something decades overdue had been (badly) written up because too many white institutions were coming under fire? No. Sorry, not sorry. Try harder. 

The point is, please don't seek validation for your efforts as an ally from POC, seek guidance yes. Because you need it. But don't expect a pat on the back for doing what your conscience should have led you to do on your own, without being pushed. Don't expect a gold star or for your dick to be sucked for doing the bare minimum with your privilege and platform. 

I hate to bring this back to Boris Johnson but I think it is important to look at who leads the country. When we look at how validated those QAnon and Proud Boys were within their insurrection in America. How they were not just subtly coerced but led by trump. How sure they were of not only their right to have their own way, but also that they would largely get away with it. Yes, there were, out of the 1000s who stormed the Capitol, 40 odd arrests and 4 deaths, but as we are being rightly encouraged to look at, imagine how many arrests and deaths there would have been if this was a mainly Black crowd. If it was a group of Arabic looking men. Literally bombs would be dropping and there would be 100s of deaths. This is the first time in 200 years there has been an attack on the US Capitol, we have to look at who was at the helm. 

Boris Johnson may not be quite as loose lipped and overtly racist but a) the politeness and humour he uses as a thin veneer of respectability, makes his racism appear all the more acceptable and defensible (and therefore more dangerous) and b) he validates huge swathes of different types of white racism by taking the stance he does. Validates the whole angle of claiming to not be racist but not actually doing anything about his own racism, because look where he got to...even white folk who despise him, for a whole host of reasons, will have that embedded within them somewhere, that being a 'bit racist' (even just in terms of not addressing your own bias) isn't a huge issue. And the fact is, much as most people in my circle did not vote Conservative and hate him, he still got voted in. Despite his comments about Black women having mouths like watermelons or Muslim women wearing hijabs looking like letterboxes. Too many people decided that his racism, bigotry and offensiveness was not a deal breaker. And that leaves us in a not too dissimilar position to America.

We like to think here in the UK, as my friend uncomfortably suggested yesterday, before she swiftly moved on in our conversation, that racism is just not as big a problem here. But yet there is still a huge, overwhelming connection between socio-economic status and race. In maternity units in the UK, regardless of class, as a Black woman you are 5 times more likely to die during labour than a white woman. We still have a huge disparity between Black and white teachers. We are still debating the idea of decolonising the curriculum. We still are deporting people - no, that Windrush scandal hasn't stopped, been resolved. BAME people are still 5 times more likely to die from Covid yet are not seen as a priority in regards giving out a vaccine. Black people are 8 times more likely to be stopped and searched by the police and yes, finally police brutality against Black people exists here too.

I have come to understand that there are white people I am not able to discuss race with, because they become too defensive, because they feel they are doing enough. I have come to understand that this apathy and discomfort around the suggestion that perhaps all white people have some level of implicit racial bias within them, that this is part of what props up and maintains the lack of equality and the multiple ways in which the oppression of Black (all non white to varying degrees) people manifests, is part of whiteness. That this is endemic. I have come to understand that the incidences of overt and visual, obvious, seen racism, of the kind that people capture on their smartphones, or see in anonymised comments online are literally just the visible tip of the iceberg. That it is all the other, lesser obvious, more systemic, structural, and privilège based choices to not fully address racism, because it's uncomfortable. These aspects of racism allow that tip of the iceberg to exist. Because it would sink and melt without what props it up from beneath.

An anecdote to end on. My eldest, who is trans and in many ways, very politically versed and aware. I have personally made sure of this. His daddy is white and he is very very fair skinned, has straight hair and the truth is, will not suffer racism, in anyway like I, or other dual heritage people do and have. A year ago now (he is 13 and into animé and art) he was asking for some more marker pens. The type he prefers are super expensive, but really high quality. As he is incredibly good at art, I have seen this as an acceptable extravagance. When I asked what colours he needed, he said he needed 'skin tone' colours. I paused. Didn't say anything. Then asked him to show me exactly which colours. They were all peaches and white/Caucasian skin tone colours. Yes, that is his skin tone but those colours are not skin tone. We had to have quite an in depth conversation about not only how and why it was incorrect to refer to these colours as skin tone but also about the reality, that despite his identity as dual heritage, which he is very proud of and knowledgeable about, his perceived (by the world around him) status as white, means he will have white privilege and also an implicit racial bias. One that is not erased simply by virtue of him having a Black or brown parent. One that he will actively have to address and be aware of throughout his life. Because racism is a social ill and is bigger than your conscious mind or even own sense of identity sometimes. He has already lost friends at school because, they didn't realise his mum was of colour and they said something racist. He knows, first hand in that sense it exists, and hates it. Pushes against it and not simply because he knows it's correct but also because he identifies with being not white, with being part Caribbean, part Indian, part Portuguese (as well as Irish and Scottish from his dad). This is personal to him. So he was distraught to realise and understand that he too carries some of that implicit bias within him, by virtue of a genetic lottery. His sister, funnily enough, who is also very fair, but has some colour and curly hair. She always draws pictures of people with brown skin and her self portrait last year used a brown pencil, much darker than my skin even. She is aware she is perceived as not white, despite not being as intellectually, politically astute and aware. My point is, how on earth do white people, who do not have a parent of colour, think they are exempt from racial bias, when my 13 year old son can accept and understand he does. As a point of interest, when making up his own animé drawings, many of them have darker skin tones now, or rather there is a variety. He has become more vocal about identifying racist structures when he sees them and understands that he has a unique vantage point, from which to do good. I hope he uses that as he grows up and feel confident that he will, but it starts from self awareness and acknowledgement of what your privilege means and how it can affect you.

Here is a video piece I did last year to end on... It says much of the same as I have above but sometimes words embed easier, deeper, when spoken... 

The password is mediares